5'6 brunette looking for love. Slightly under legal age, but not for long; maturity level of a thirty year old. Slightly clingy, stressed, and needy. Very intelligent and driven. Weak, beat up, a little broken. An actress. Damaged and looking for something to hold on to. Looking for someone to hold on to.
I am honest about myself. That's one thing I will credit myself with, that I am entirely and unashamedly honest about all of my faults and all the things I cannot let go of. I am entirely exposed. I am standing in front of you, naked and a little scared of what you'll say.
There are some things about me you should know. I'm melodramatic. I say things to make people feel better or like me more, even when they're not true. I'm really not that funny. I am not a classic beauty, I eat too much and excercise too little. I am clingy. I'm horrible at foreign languages and have no concept of high-end fashion.
Sometimes I want to be someone other than me. I'd kind of like to go to Spain and salsa dance, drink a little and laugh a lot and be somewhere new. I'd like to be someone new. I'd like to write a book that makes people think, so I'll wait five years to understand what it means to love and lose and then I'll begin. Nobody will be in it but me, the three thousand different versions. I will do something about me, something for me.
All I'm looking for is someone who's honest with themself. I want somebody that will help me break, someone who challenges me, who encourages me to love and hate unequally and fully. I'm looking for someone who won't spit platitudes at me and who won't encourage my unfortunate predisposition to the past.
I want my greatness to be because of who I am, not who I could be or have been, because people change. I need somebody who understands that and doesn't blame me for being an actor but won't let me be a liar. I want someone who knows how I feel when I look out windows from the inside of speeding cars and knows how seldom I feel small in the world. I want someone who knows I love to fake it in everyday situations and calls me on it. What I'm looking for is a person who knows the difference between my bullshit and my insight. I want someone who's not alarmed by my sudden change of mood and topic, who appreciates the things that are hard and worth it.
I want someone who doesn't always understand me and who isn't bothered by the times when they don't. All I'm looking for is someone real- who asks questions without demanding answers, who gives without expecting something back, and who encourages me to do the same. I just want to feel like myself. I want to be myself; I don't want him to make me who I am. I'm looking for stability without boredom, farmiliarity without forgetfulness, life without death. I know what it is I need- I just don't know who it is.
If you answer this classified, you should know that you're agreeing to a lot. We don't need to have sex, you don't need to share my morals; I enjoy covering both ends of the spectrum. I just need someone to hold on to. Maybe it's you. God save you if it is. I would not date me. That's not the kind of thing you put in a classified, I know, but like I said, I'm quite honest. I really am. It's always been my downfall.
© Copyright 2016 Josephine Ann. All rights reserved.
Short Story / Romance
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Short Story / Non-Fiction
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