Why do they hate me so much?
Why not leave me to die?
Instead the scoff and try to hurt me from inside my mind.
They tell me I'm useless.
They tell me I'm a shame.
Why is it that I still can't understand?
Anger fills me but I can't hurt them.
Sadness haunts me but I still love them.
I try to please.
I really do.
But to them I guess I am nothing more than a shadow of a woman.
I understand the world.
I understand the actions.
But why can't I be more than a sadistic facination.
I can take a hit.
I can give it back.
So why do you tell me I'm the one that lacks.
I hate you so much.
I can't stand your face.
So why do I find myself always giving chase?
All I know is confusion.
All I know is pain.
So why is it that all they see of me is someone happy and plain.
I don't deserve pity.
Nor do I want it.
But there most be some one who can truly see.
I'm always left behind.
I'm always left to die.
I'm always the one who's expected to stand strong.
I can only bear so much before I finally break.
I can only bear so much before my soul takes an eternal break.
I'm going crazy.
Yes this I already know.
I'm going crazy and my alter ego is about to show.
I'm going isane and this time I'll make sure I won't be the one in pain.
What happens when the masochist become the sadist?
Do you trully want to know?
It's the question of pain that will answer that for sure.
I'll make you fear me.
I surely will.
Because it's the straw that broke the camels back before it crushed it's master making the final kill.
Will you be able to take my pain.
Will you go insane.
I'll be no easy prey.
Because my mind has twisted and my fantasies make you scream.
© Copyright 2016 Joshalynn. All rights reserved.
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