Something I found on my old quizilla account that I wrote just after he died.

No one seems to understand my pain,

Until you have cried in the rain.

Softly,

Silently.

Putting life on pause.

All of the lies,

I am glad I never heard,

All of the lies,

All of the nonsense.

Scribbles,

Fragments,

Softly,

Silently.

No one seems to understand my pain,

Until you have cried in the rain.

Swiftly,

Mindlessly.

Putting your life on hold.

All of the pain,

How much I felt,

All of the pain,

All of the regret.

Pieces,

Memories,

Swiftly,

Mindlessly.

No one seems to understand my pain,

Until your left in the rain.

Suddenly,

Painfuly.

Putting your life into focas.

All of the love,

I will always remember,

All of the love,

Burned into my brain.

Scars,

Flash backs,

Suddenly,

Painfuly.


Submitted: July 07, 2010

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Comments

hollydar

This made me want to give you a hug and tell you you are not alone - however you must feel that you are sometimes. I was an only child and always wanted a big brother and the relationship you had with yours sounds so very special, just the kind I always dreamed of having. Nothing or nobody can take all the special times and all the love you shared away from you, that will live on till you meet again. Be strong - he would have wanted that and keep writing your wonderful poetry in his honour. I, for one, feel privileged that you are sharing it with us. God bless. Pat x

Thu, July 8th, 2010 6:05am

Author
Reply

Thank you so much Pat, you have no idea how much your kind, thoughtful words mean to me. I wrote this right after he died, and sometimes the pain is so bad that it is hard to bare. It comes in waves, some days are always going to be better than others though. I know that I'm not alone anymore, now that I have been to countless greif groups for teens and workshops for youth depression. No one is ever going to know exactly how I feel because no one had the same connection that I had with him, but I do know that there are people out there who know what I speak of and are here to help. You are a wonderful women with a kind heart. There are so many people, mostly adults, who I have tried to talk to about Nick who have just stared at me awkwardly, or dismissed the siduation. God bless you, people like you are my salvation. X

Thu, July 8th, 2010 2:40am

Scrawls and Doodles

this brought tears to my eyes and i cried. honestly. you are so strong and brave. i'm sure your brother's watching over you at all times, smiling when he watches you go to sleep, and worries when you are sad. :')

i won't say i understand your pain, coz it doesn't feel right to say that to you, what goes on inside a person- only he/she knows how it is; but i can imagine what you go through. i don't have a brother, but i have cousins whom i lost. it may not exactly be the same, but i can relate to it.

i feel you are the kind of person who looks at Life right in the face and not afraid of anything. just stay that way and you'll be fine. and as pat mentioned above, you are not alone.

this is kinda random- but please, please don't think i'm trying to get you to read my story- if u could just try reading my story 'Guardian Angels Inc.' i'll be very glad if it made you feel better.

i love writing stories about brothers and sisters, it makes me happy in an unexplainable way.

keep holding on to faith... God bless you :)

Thu, July 8th, 2010 11:30am

Author
Reply

Thank you very much. As I said to Pat, I really appreciate all of your kind words, your very thoughtful. I am sorry to hear about your cousins. Don't worry about comparing the two, because in the end it really doesn't matter who you lost, but how much they mean to you. Haha, no worries about asking me to read your story, I am grateful that you think it will help. I'll head over there in a little bit and let you know what I think. God bless you :)

Thu, July 8th, 2010 6:12am

Scrawls and Doodles

:) i kinda regretted my words sometime after writing them, but now that i saw your response i'm glad i spoke to you. thanks for the empathy... i really miss them.

let's keep faith :)

Sat, July 17th, 2010 3:18am

Author
Reply

Agreed, we need to stick together, and the same to you :)

Sat, July 17th, 2010 2:44am

Graeme Montrose

That was simply wonderful, forever your brother will be remembered not only by you but by your words which you share with all of us, you are in many ways letting him live on and his death a testament to others of his love and life. You must really have loved him, I am sure he is there watching over you, inspiring you and will be a constant guardian to you. God bless you for sharing these wonderful words!

Mon, July 26th, 2010 8:52am

Author
Reply

thank you, I really appreciate your kind words :)

Sat, July 31st, 2010 5:33am

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