Oscuridad part 6/ El Fin De Todo (The End of Everything)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
Darkness series continued

Submitted: November 21, 2011

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Submitted: November 21, 2011

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I sit here in the darkness alone... Embracing it because i have no other choice but to.... All of my emotions are gone no longer do i feel sad, upset, angry, or happy I feel nothing. Gone are the days where i am always happy, gone are the days where i look forward to anything, Gone are the days where i think about things that make me happy or optimistic i knew this was going to happen sooner or later..... I feel like something is truly wrong with me i used to be happy all of the time every day and now all i feel is... Emptiness.... I have never felt this way before at all and to be quite honest i am scared of what i am becoming.... Am I EVEN THE SAME PERSON ANYMORE!?!?! My brain is about to explode, my heart is becoming colder and colder with each passing day.... I want to cry and i don't mean that "i don't know what's wrong with me" cry i mean that "I just wanna let my soul bleed kind of cry" the cry that makes you feel like you're having a fuckin' heart attack because your chest hurts too much..... As i sit in the dark cold room and think about every single tear i've shed i don't smile i don't laugh i just break down and let my tears drop as i scream out certain words..... Words that will make a person's day, words that no matter how crappy your day is going they could brighten up even the darkest of days but can these words brighten up my day???? Only If they came out of a certain person's mouth, will they??? I surely hope so...... My tears keep falling down as i start to lose my voice from screaming so much.... The amount of heart ache i am going through at this moment is absolute torture. My face is red, my cheeks are wet from the almost endless supply of tears that have fallen... Will i ever be "normal" again will i recover from this pain? Will this depression ever leave me the hell alone??? "I think to myself as i TRY to calm down..... I chuckle to myself and say No...... This pain, this torture, this ridiculous heart ache that i am in right now will NEVER leave no matter what i do..... I wipe my eyes and lay down.... and as i'm laying down one single person comes to mind that beautiful, gorgeous, sweet human being that i have had the honor and pleasure of knowing since i was 18 years old comes into my head, I want to cry even harder now because i remember every single time you have crossed my mind all of the sweet and loving thoughts i had of you then (when i was 18) and now (when i'm a depressed and confused mess) i try so hard to crack a smile to chuckle to show some sort of happiness but why can't i???? Why can't i show you how much you make me smile, how much you make me laugh, how much i want you back in my life not just as a friend but as more, why can't i show you how much i...... I...... care for you and miss you???? Why can't i show you my deepest feelings towards you?!?!?! WHY WHY WHY?!?!?!?!?! "I know why i say to myself"....... Porque esto es El Fin De Todo (Because this is The End of Everything)


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