A New Order for Old System
“Well it is time we have to get a new order for our old caste based name system,” said Dan shuffling papers on his desk.
“What you have in mind,” Juggernaut was curious.
“Well, according to the latest censes we the Indian Americans are the new Ethnic group to reckon with in American economy and
“The old caste system that kept us together and prosperous in our old country was breaking apart fast in this country; therefore, we
need a new system to keep people in their respective traditional family professions together.” Dan appeared very serious and committed.
Dan is only nickname; his real name is so long and it was difficult to pronounce even for his own countrymen, he was forced to shorten
it. He ran a business ‘Breakthru for Better Future’ for relocating people arriving in scores from his old country to the new country. Juggernaut was a hired hand to help him out in paper work; like
getting work permits, submitting compliance reports and paying fines for non-compliance etc. His job title was ‘Pencil Pusher.’
“Think big and see how three million or so of our country men can be categorized into a profession based name system with a last name
that identifies them with their profession and still sounds American,” suggested Dan.
“So, that’s the basis for the new order for the old system then?” inquired Juggernaut.
“Yes, people in information technology or health care or academics or finance or leisure and hospitality shall be grouped and assigned
with a new last name representing their occupation.”
“How about those that doesn’t belong to these professions?” Juggernaut expressed a serious doubt.
“True, there are lots of people with no designated professions.”
“Like you and I for example,” Juggernaut was now more specific.
“I understand, lets create a miscellaneous category with a special last name for them.”
“That’s easy,” agreed Juggernaut.
“Now, you go start thinking about a name that suits each profession for consideration.”
“OK, let’s say for those in leisure and hospitality business, their last name shall sound leisure, it is only in sound we were
interested in, the spelling can vary; say for example, Mr./Ms. Lesure, Mr./Ms. Lesurson, Mr./Ms. Leisure, Mr./Ms. Lasuer, Mr./Ms. Leusaran, Mr./Ms. Lesurly, Mr./Ms. Lesurbury, Mr./Ms. Lesuristine,
Mr./Ms. Leisurban etc., These names sound novel, American and yet represents a profession,” “with these last names one can easily figure it out that they are in the business of leisure and
hospitality,” Juggernaut appeared satisfied with his talent in English vocabulary.
“Yeah, that’s a good start.” Dan was immersed in something he was good at; making plans for the future.
For those in health care business; “Dr./Mr./Ms. Medsen, Dr./Mr./Ms. Medson, Dr./ Mr./Ms. Medcaughlin, Dr./Mr./Ms. Medkowich, Dr./Mr./Ms.
Medkowleser, Dr./Mr./Ms. Medkowsky, Dr./Mr./Ms. Medlin, Md./Mr./Ms./ Medlander, etc.”
“You are on the right track.”
Lets say for those in Information technology business; “Mr. /Ms. Informan, Mr. /Ms. Informikar, Mr. /Ms. Infostein, Mr. /Ms. Inforkan,
Mr./Ms. Inforson, Mr. /Ms. Inforkahn.” The descendents of this caste would know that their forefathers were in information technology business.
Names with these last names work in finance related businesses; “Mr./Ms. Financial, Mr./Ms. Financika, Mr./Ms. Finanski, Mr./Ms.
Financiaro, Mr./Ms. Financian,” “Mr./Ms. Finanpalli, Mr./Ms. Finanson, Mr./Ms. Finankar, etc.”
“Good progress so far, keeps going.” Dan was paying attention though he was doing his own thing simultaneously.
Now the hard part, that is to name those that were in miscellaneous businesses; “Mr./Ms. Mislan, Mr./Ms. Mislanader, Mr./Ms. Misleon,
Mr./Ms. Mislonker, Mr./Ms. Miskaran, Mr./Ms.Mislansky, etc.,
“How about thousands of academicians working on the college campuses around the country?”
“Umm, let’s say Mr./Ms. Academy, Mr./Ms. Academan, Mr./Ms. Academeson, Mr./Ms. Academasky, Mr./Ms. Academa and so forth,” “making up
names shouldn’t be hard you know.”
“Well, I hear you, I am not sure that everybody likes these names at the first instance but at least it is a good start,” “now tell me
what is that ‘11th Approximation, it sounds very scientific,” Dan expressed some doubts.
“Well, your idea of assigning family or last names to signify their trade or business and to get away from old caste names and fit into
21st century nomenclature was a novel idea indeed. Since it is only an approximation of last names and subject to change by the coming generations of South Asians, since it took
place in 2011, I made it as 11th approximation; there may be other revivals say in 2015 or later and then it will be 15th approximation and so forth to identify when that
nomenclature change came into existence,” Juggernaut concluded his explanation.
Dan looked perplexed and confused but appeared happy to see his idea was taken seriously and received a head-start from Juggernaut, ‘the
pencil pusher’ working for minimum wage at in his company ‘Breakthru for Better Future.”
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