Untitled love story

Reads: 269  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 2

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

This is a story about a girl who didn't believe in love. This is also a story about a boy who changed that.

~~Chapter 1
 Donna Susan Marbles had never been on a date. So the first thing she did when she walked into the White Rose coffee shop on that cold winter afternoon was take off her coat and describe her life in full detail to her date. He wasn’t annoyed by this at all though. He thought she was a great story teller and learned to love her stories later on.  But more on that later. She began with her birth.
 Donna Susan Marble was born on September 3rd, 1995 and was brought home from the hospital to a small town no one has ever heard of. She grew up in a seven bedroom house with a big family. Her mother, three older sisters, Cousin Barney and her Granny Susan all lived together while she grew up. But despite all the family she had around her, Donna had a very lonely childhood. Her older sisters, Lydia, Katie, and Ana were all at least 8 years older than Donna and didn’t like having a young sister around to watch. While her sisters were tall and pretty, Donna was the shortest and plain in the family. They called her an embarrassment. Her cousin Barney was also older. He worked a lot to pay his part of the rent. Barney lived with his aunt because his mother died during child birth and his father was a deadbeat.  But other than his Cousins, He would try to play with Donna as much as he could when he wasn’t working. That still wasn’t enough. Even her own mother ignored Donna a lot. Donna’s mother. Helen Marbles, worked night and day so she could afford to take care of everyone. Donnas Father, Greg Winston, and Helen got married young due to Lydia’s sudden arrival. By the time they had Donna, they hated each other. When Donna was one, her father moved out and now lived in California. Donna only saw her dad twice in her life.
 That left Granny Susan to raise Donna. And she did. Granny and Donna were always together. While the rest of her family avoided her, Granny and Donna would sit out on the porch swing on cool summer evenings and watch the sun disappear behind the mountains. While they swung back and forth, Granny would tell her stories about princess sweeping beautiful maidens off their feet. Donna would listen to these stories with big eyes full of curiosity. She was amazing about how the princes were brave enough to risk their lives for their maidens. One evening, after Granny finished her captivating story, Donna asked the question that changed her life forever.
 “Why does the prince always sweep the princess off her feet with romantic gestures?”
 “Because the prince loves her” Granny replied, not knowing how this answer would impact Donna’s life.
 After that evening Donna took those stories seriously to this day because she has never believed true love existed in real life. Because of her unloving childhood, she thought love was a made up feeling her granny put in stories to make her feel better. And because love didn’t exist like unicorns didn’t exist, she only learned to love her granny. Until her first date of course.
 Donna was only 5 when Granny Susan passed away. Her mom came in to her room one night and told her Granny went away. Donna ran outside to the porch swing and waited for Granny to come home. When she finally fell asleep, her mother came out and took her inside. Every night that summer, Donna sat out on the swing waiting for granny to come and tell her a story. She whispered old stories to herself as she stared blankly into the distances. Every night she went to bed disappointed. The last night Donna sat out on that porch swing her older sister Ana, who was 13 at the time, told her that Granny was never coming back because she was dead.
 “So stop being a baby and go to bed!” Ana then watched her sister run inside crying and regretted what she had said. “Wait, Donna I’m sorry. Do you want me to tell you one of Granny’s stories?”
 Donna shock her head yes and Ana told her one of the stories she had overheard. Ana started to tell Donna more stories she remembered and the two sister became close for the first. Together they helped each other through that summer.
 When autumn came Ana gave Donna a black, leather journal for her birthday.
 “You’ll be starting school soon and when they teach you how to write, we can write Granny’s stories in here together.”
 When Donna learned how to write, she started one of Granny’s stories in the journal. Ana became too busy with her own life to help Donna so she wrote on her own.
 Donna wrote at the desk by the window since it was to cold to sit on the porch swing. She would watch the sun sink into the mountains like she did with Granny. When she would write she felt close to Granny and didn’t feel as alone. That’s when her passion for writing began. 

Submitted: August 14, 2014

© Copyright 2020 Juliagraace14. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:




Hmmmmm I'm....I'm a little on the fence about this beginning on one hand I think it's great that you got a great backstory for your lead character and the fact that you told us so much in the first chapter I like it. But I feel like....maybe you could have done it a little more flowing? I don't know I like how you started off with her on the date with that guy and her telling him about the story but maybe you should have weaved her story into their conversation somehow? I just feel like he would have questions in between what she was saying to signify he was listening or w.e or if you wanna do it like this don't even let her be on a date in the first place OR have her just be saying all of this and we don't know why she is saying all this and then at the end like end the speaking and have her be like that's me and then let us know she was saying ALL of that too a boy and it would make for a pretty funny scenario beginning or something idk these are all just ideas of course. Either way this sounds like a good start to a story, just remember that this is your own original story do something out of left field and put your own spin on it :) Don't do a cliche! Back to the story though jesus 7 rooms!? My God I would kill just to live in a 4 bedroom much less 7 what is there like a spare spare guest room? haha that house....jeez luiz. Even though it's a big house it sucks that she felt lonely it in that's never good but I've felt lonely in a crowded room before and lemme tell you it's not fun. You start talking to yourself like your character was doing haha as for her grandma that was heartbreaking :( I'm gonna tell my kids stories too I want them to stick with them forever yay story time!! :) Either way it's a great start :) I wish you the best!

Thu, August 14th, 2014 10:46pm



interesting love story. i enjoyed it. good work.

Thu, August 14th, 2014 11:47pm

Other Content by Juliagraace14

Miscellaneous / Romance