The Most Lamentable Trip

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
This short story is about a boy who goes on a road trip with his family on Easter morning. It is very funny, and ecstatically enjoyable to read. I hope you have a good time reading it.

Submitted: April 11, 2008

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Submitted: April 11, 2008

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The Most Lamentable Trip

By: J. L. Moreaux


~

The worst day of my life had begun and I didn't want to wake up at all. It was Thanksgiving Day and we, the Smiths, were going on a road trip to my grandparents house. The sun had only risen and my mother came into my room to wake me up. I was so angry and stubborn that it took me almost twenty minutes to actually get out of the bed.


I heard an old creeky voice come out of the walls, "JOSHUAA DEAR....ARE YOU OUT OF BED YET?" It turned out to be my mothers very distinctive voice. You could hear it from a mile away. I put my clothes on and brushed my teeth and we all got in the car. My sister, Sally had always said that it was the greatest time of the year, because we HAD to be thankful for things. I always said that it was an annoying time to wake up early and visit boring old dying relatives...

While getting in the car, Sally being the oldest in the family, got to choose the seat in which she wanted to sit in. I didn't have to think twice at what seat she would choose, because I knew instinctively that she would pick the passenger side in the back, my mother would take the front passenger seat, and my father- the driver seat - as usual. This was something so common that we didn't even bother to call out "Shotgun!" or "Back-seat!"...We just knew who was going to sit in the designated seats. We drove in a blue minivan that had rust coming off the bottom of the doors and chips of paint missing in nearly ever square inch of the thing. The funniest part was the major dent in the back bumper from when my mom drove the car into a pole on Carson Street while she was trying to parallel park.

We left the driveway and were off to my grandparents house...They had to live what seemed to be about five hours away, when actually it was more like forty minutes away. The car drive was always boring. My mom would call out the cars that looked like bugs apparently. They looked more like a beach ball with a dent in them to me. My mom would call out, "Punch BUG!!" and try to punch my dad after saying it. As if it were her duty to do so. I always laughed when she did this because my dad would get an angry face and say as calmly as he could, "Florence hunny...I'm trying to drive here... Please... please don't do that." It was good old fun, but my dad was always such a stubborn man and didn't like joking at all when he was driving. The drive took us about fifty-five minutes because my mom had more of a vigilant eye than usual, and dad took his time due to this.

We finally got to pappy and grams place and it was about lunch time. Sally jumped out of the car and I slowly crept my way to their door. I didn't want to be there because I had to wake up so early. I was so cranky. Sally then knocked hard on the door...Bang!! Bang!! BANG!!!...I jumped back in fear that the door might fall on us. It didn't, but I made sure by staying clear of it...After waiting about ten minutes for the old farts to crawl their way to us the door had finally open. I quickly put the fake smile on my dad had told me to apply, before approaching their home. Gran and Pappy both looked at us with such adoration and kindness...It was almost impossible to be mean to them because they were sort of cute in a geriatric kind of way. So I walked in the door and an overwhelming wave of scent that hid my olfactory system like no other. This wave was a great one! It was something like gravy and turkey and ham and possibly...spam?!? I didn't know what the smell of Spam was doing in the kitchen, but I couldn't help but ask either. I quickly shouted out to my gram, "What is the spam for?" She told me that pappy couldn't eat meat anymore and I had realized there was something I was finally thankful for. We all sat down at the dinner table and had to all say what we were thankful for. As it was Thanksgiving. I raised my hand to go first and said, "I have something to be very thankful for. I am thankful for having my teeth so that I can eat whatever foods I want." Everybody looked at me quietly first...Then pappy started to giggle out loud and we all burst into hard laughter.

~END



© Copyright 2017 Justin Lee Moreaux. All rights reserved.

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