my name is tin foil

Reads: 509  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 5

Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

an imperfect poem, jus read it, bout abused girls feelings

i'm shiny and bright, never dull shine a light

but delicate, dont crumple me

dont smush or damage me

reused, recycled

i bend to easy

each fold permanent ,no matter how hard you press me

 

try make me flawless, im bruised every touch

now im not so shiny

and much rougher to the touch

not many love a crumpled ball

but something shiny must have caught your eye

a flash, a glint as i started to fall 


Submitted: August 19, 2007

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Comments

gypsyfruit00

Love it. The comparison to tin foil and a person is really, really good. I'm impressed. 5 stars.

~(Gypsyfruit00)~

Sun, August 19th, 2007 11:30pm

Author
Reply

thanks =] i appriciate ur comment!

Thu, August 23rd, 2007 4:50am

PURE INSANITY

Excellent poem. The comparison is amazing. I especially thought "each fold permanent ,no matter how hard you press me" sent quit a strong message. well done.

Thu, August 23rd, 2007 12:49pm

Author
Reply

thanks!!! i like it too, its wierd how almost anything can be made into a metaphor
am i still "rusty?" lol
haha tnks for the comment, i appriciate the feedback really i do

Thu, August 23rd, 2007 11:54am

matmoo

Nice. Pretty cool poetry. I'm a big fan of imperfect poetry! Brilliant comparison metaphor thing.

Lovely

matmoo :)

Thu, August 23rd, 2007 9:25pm

Author
Reply

tnks :] imperfect.. is the story of my life lol

Fri, August 24th, 2007 9:04am

amateur01

i love the last two lines!

Sun, August 26th, 2007 4:44pm

Author
Reply

tnks! luv

Sun, August 26th, 2007 11:15am

lukestamillion

Good job kare kare ur da man i mean da women or wateva lol!!!

Thu, September 13th, 2007 7:38pm

Author
Reply

y thank you

Wed, October 10th, 2007 4:00pm

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