Angelo & Mackenzie: Chapter 1, book by justmekass

Angelo & Mackenzie

Reads: 189 | Likes: 0 | Shelves: 0 | Comments: 3

Book by: justmekass

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Status: Finished | Genre: Young Adult | House: Booksie Classic

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Mackenzie comes home after two years of not seeing her childhood best friend, Angelo. To her surprise her former awkward, chubby, weird, best friend is now a successful lawyer who has changed completely (good and bad). Now she is trying to decide which guy she wants more- her brain surgeon boy friend or her longtime best friend who might actually love her more than a friend too.
And while you're reading, keep in mind everyone has their own secrets.

Young Adult

Chapter 1 (ver.1)

I'm Home

Submitted: November 26, 2011

Chapter 2 (ver.1)

Day with Angelo: Part 1

Submitted: November 26, 2011

Chapter Two: Day With Angelo; Part 1 I woke up the next morning at seven. I ran down the stairs for breakfast, hopefully made by some... Read Chapter

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Recent Comments

A7XRica

Comment | 23 words

Sun, December 18th, 2011 9:04pm

That was a nice start. Be careful with your format because it's somehow hard to read. Aside from that, this is nice. KMU. :)

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Comment | 2 words

Sun, December 25th, 2011 6:55pm

Thanks alot!!

Lucy Lucy

Comment | 167 words

Mon, November 28th, 2011 2:22am

Hi, I just saw your reading request and followed it only to discover that this piece of writing hooked me up!!! Good use of words and directions. I like your style of writing and the plot already looks promising. But then, there is a little problem. I hope you don't mind if I identify that to you. I guess more paragraph breaks are required in your writing.

Like, when you write a dialogue, you can start a new paragraph. It will become more readable for the user.

And just in case, you have not known yet, you need not comment again to reply to the comments, you have an optional box for the replies in the comments section.

I hope I have not offended you by saying the above things, but I really do like the start of this story and I will be glad if you keep me updated. And not to mention, but don't leave the story in between, please continue it till the end. :)

Author
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Comment | 36 words

Mon, November 28th, 2011 10:32pm

I actually appreciate the comments, and I am glad you are enjoying it so far. I do plan to continue this to the end and again I really appreciate that you've read my story. Thank You!!!

XDani

Comment | 80 words

Sat, November 26th, 2011 4:54pm

hmm u have a very unique way of writing but u need to be carefully as having everything clumped together like you do can be difficult to read. Try having a new line after each person speaks as it will make it so much easier to read. Check out my book and see how I do it if you want. Other than that it seems really good and i cant wait to see what happens between her and angelo. KMU??

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Comment | 15 words

Sat, November 26th, 2011 8:06pm

Thanks for the critique I intend to use ur advice and pls continue to read