The Last Dragon Jig

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Action and Adventure  |  House: Booksie Classic
A legendary girl is thrown into the coflicts of life, dealing with a local dragon and a lively town.

Submitted: May 16, 2009

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Submitted: May 16, 2009

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In a time once upon us there lived a horse piper. and whenever he played his magical redwood fiddle horses of all shapes and colors and...race, would follow him. Then one day, this man lured the likes of a unicorn. it was in fact. The Last Unicorn, ever known to the mind of mortals. This particular unicorn had wings and fangs. The people would often mistake him for a dragon. And so the tale of the last dragon begins with the dragon devouring our beloved piper and making a delectable manure of him. that manure was the best the county of Yellowpooville had ever seen andtheir crops grew enormously , so the towns people had plenty of food for the future winter. However, because they spent so much time gathering corn they forgot to buy each other christmas presents. The ladies of the town became quite offended and started beating up the guys. The guys became irritated because of the sexual inequality and decided to "give them their own medicine." A nearby king heard of this news and decided to...install a new amendment to the countys declaration of sex. each woman could not beat a man unless he instructed her to in an act of sado masochism. the men could also not beat their women as long as said women stayed in their respected kitchens and laundry rooms. the dragon saw all of this happening and decided to get in on the action. he made a fake mustache and sneaked into town...acting as a certain seedy villian. The dragon snuck as quiet as a freshly hatched larvae and decided to rest behind a bakery. The dragon caught the delicious scent of rising bread in his nostrils and he sneezed. At this exact moment their happened to be a boy that wandered by. He saw the dragon and became so enthralled by his mystical scales and size that he became intertwined with the sexual masochistic ideals that society conforms to..and quickly placed a taunt leather mask over his head. he snuck behind the dragon and jumped his back repeatedly whipping him as he moaned. the dragon, bewildered and still hungry bucked and the boy flew into the air. the dragon caught the boy in his mouth and swallowed him whole. this resulted ineven more manure. resulting in more crops. which fertilized the land. raising the prices of homes. people could no longer afford homes and they all turned into ghetto coke sniffing prostitutes.The dragon felt guilty for eating the boys and flew to a volcano. He dived into the lava ending his life in one swift steamy meltdown.
Ever year the townspeople continued to plant their crops, reeping their benefits, keeping the town happy and satisfied with the yearly gains. They did not mourn the loss of the boy because the boy had no family or loved ones. In fact, not one of the towns people had ever known the boy. This would all change as one day a girl of sixteen moons found one of his bones. It was the parietal bone of his skeletal skull. She examined it and found biotechonolgy of the late..old soon became the town's local scientist. she was expert with telescopes as she could fit into most of them. she enlisted prostitutes to aid her with her work and translate as she could not speak or poo in a toilet properly yet. One day, while she was mixing pancreatic juices with bile salts in order to show that this mixture when placed with saliva will dissolve like society int oa billion pieces, she discovered an antidote for aids. she took it, and now STD free, was free to become a prostitute herself. but there was one thing she didnt know...the now deceased dragon was her father!!! and she inherited the power to breath fire!!! so this one man's ding a ling became...a golden bar. The local ecocnomy could not take such heavy currency so he sold it to a local black market trader. That black market trader gave it to parna [1 year old] and she used it to make golden socks. With her golden socks, parna was able to walk the lands without getting blisters. However, her feet soon became green and skaly, revealing her true heritage and it was not long before she made the decision to find her long lost dragon father. She would need many prositutes to help her. With her telescopes she made a wing glider that could see grass in moutains, but the telescopes were so blurry that you could not even see underneath the tree's ...undercarriage. she ejected from her glide and the remaining prostitutes crash and burned, leaving the city crime free atlast. Parna pulled up the tree's skirt revealing a red hearted boxer of a cave. she dove the cave after unbottoning the front opening. she stepped in and made her way through the very very thick brown forest until she reached the veiny core...of the tree. She stopped and looked around, seeing things as if in a dream. The roots gave off a earthly glow that could only be considered as the gastric juices inside a stomach. She went to the root and severed it lightly with her town knife. She bent down on her small knees and sucked the gastric juice from the roots. Suddenly, she felt a shiver course through her body, as if she were being set afire. Before long she reliazed she was on fire, she looked towards the entrance and saw her father dead with his own fire engulfing his carcass. She was now the last dragon...and she never felt so alive! she burst through the slit again and ejaculated into what seemed like a new world. she saw better than ever, like with a new pair of contacts. with these eagle eyes she saw two young studly men standing on a picnic table near a pool. she feared they would drown and swooped down upon them. she picked them up with her claws and brought them to safety upon a cloud, only then realizing that her claws had torn into their back revealing their entire nervous system...killing them.large, razor sharp, knife sharp, diamond sharp, adamantium sharp teeth and crushed them into bones and sinew leaving nothing but drops of blood as a remainder to their feeble lives. Parna remebered she wasn't full dragon because her dad had had an affair with a human so she fell down 100 feet to the ground and broke her sturdy dragon legs in 24.5 places. Luckily, her dragon scales on her legs saved her from cuts.now that she could no long fly, she realized she must become something new. The Last Prostitute.So she used her short but strong dragon claw-arms to crawl back to town. Luckily when she crawled past the familar bakery she caught a scent of rising bread. The baker came out and asked her how much she cost and she replied that shewould "work" for 5 slices of bread. this made her think of her old butt buddy frances akwaye. he thinks this one girl Lin-See was the hottest thing since sliced bread and this made Parna angry and jealous. she smacked the baker aside and crawled towards Lins house once at Lins house she saw a toy doll sitting outside. this served as a reminder that lin-see was a black market doll trader. parna grew 5 inches due to her rage and broke off her useless legs to use as weapons. She climbed through the window and by the time up theere she decided she was hungry. she ate the legs and was stuck, and thats when francis akwaye walked in ..he saw the one year old parna and remembered how much he loved rape. he approached Parna and grabbed her. he pat her back and she burped...FIRE! frances's face was burning off!!! when the fire went out frances looked as if he had tanned a bit but not much else. he asked parna what she was doing and she said that Lin was a bitch. frances agreed but decided to slap parna anyways. women need a good whippin' every once in awhile. parna was furious once again. This time she burped so loudly a nuclear reactor nearby exploded and caused a black hole to suck the planet in on itself. however, parna's mother was really a cockroach so she is immune to radioactive explosions and she remiains floating in space to this day..


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