Island of Waste

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
Am I a loser for being this way? Answer for yourself.

Submitted: July 28, 2011

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Submitted: July 28, 2011

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How do you waste all your life after one man - for that matter, a middle-aged, balding, greedy, almost always drunk man? How do you waste all your life after one man; the very man who doesn't know the meaning of love?

Today, I am standing alone after twenty three years alone. Solidarity is my only familiarity. No kids. No dear friends. My closest loved ones have become distant acquaintances, as I've sacrificed them and too many other parts of me for this man.

I am with him, but he still is not with me. Will he ever stop hurting me? Will he ever be truly with me?

In the deepest, most sacred parts of my heart - the parts I shadow in life- I believe he is still, and forever, thinking how he can hurt me more. But there are times, I believe he loves me and he will change for me and only me. When will I wake up and realize that God did not make him for me? He is not my soul mate. But it is only insecurity that wants him.

Insecurity, as it seems, is my driving force in life...my vehicle of transporation from today to tomorrow and to all the days beyond. Will I leave him? I honestly can say I'm stuck with him. My being is his to hurt.


© Copyright 2020 Kaaki. All rights reserved.

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