Confused maybe?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
i was confused at the time but its worked out now..

Submitted: February 20, 2008

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Submitted: February 20, 2008

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Well its 11:09pm...most normal people right now on a Monday night are sleeping.
Obviously not me.
My mind is overflowing with confusing thoughts...
Will i even make it through this?
My past haunts me from head to toe and it's unforgetable.
There were amazing times but what about the crying?
or even having to pretend like nothing has ever happend?
Theere is so much to do in so little time..
Do i bring back the past and hope for a re-do? or do i stick to the future..not knowing what the hell im doing?
I guess change can be good but i cant help and think of the memories.
Maybe im not like other people.. i guess thats okay?
It was the way i felt when i was with him..the look he gave me,but was all of that too much a story?
was it really time to walk away and see what could happen?
That was what everyone else said anyway...
They were deciding on howi lived my life, buti let them..
There words and gestures were overwhelming.
Maybe im stupid
and just can let go fast?
Or maybe its just that nothing is perfect, nor will it ever be..
But then again i guess, if everyone walked away from me i'd still be clueless.
maybe they could forgive me for my mistakes?
As for myself i just hope someday i can say forever is more then just a word.
But what can i say im just confused..
In detail, he loves me, i love him, and he wants to come back from bottom of my life.
It feels like the end i dont want to be here agian, not knowing what to do...being lost and confused?
It seems that whoever i want, everyone has to disagree.
why me?
He doesnt talk to me but the other guy would die just to hear my voice again..
The fear of heartbreak is always crawling under my skin though..
But here i am again, writing a stupid story about it - maybe its too hard for words?
I know me and him kind of have a current something but,
my past has sooo much more, memories that ill never forget..
Honestly im scared...
i always wish life could just slow down,
Everything is going by soo fast and i cant even seem to catch up.
I guess i cant face this as a dream anymore..
Its real, and i need to figure out why i dont know what im doing..
I guess there are reasons for everything, even if i hate when people say that..
So is there a reason he isnt apart of my future like he was my past?
Im wondering if anyone will udnerstand this?
But i guess tonight im buried way under the sheets having a melt-down.
I just want one thing to go right.. just one thing.
Its a freeking simple request that ive been asking for over and over again,
but i have to admit..i want him backk<3 because he isnt what i thought he was...








not a good piece but yeahh i was just basically thinking out loud..i did get him back too<33


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