I still love you and so badly just want the feeling to go away. All it brings is Pain&Tears. Why Do I Still Love You? My heart is screaming for you, Just give Me 1 last chance please I Love You. I really just can,t get over you I,m sorry that I still care. The pain is unberable the tears unstopable. My heart is hanging on a thread the way I feel about You. arms are dripping stained in red blood from the cut,s. You are with her&I,m with him, But we both know that deep down inside we love each other with all we have left of the broken pieces. I am Emo but that is because what I did to everyone and My heart. I feel like noone wants me anyway I,m a Bitch who hurt,s everyone. So why not cut myself? I began cutting and it hurts so much the scars are permanet and the memories are forever. Noone can tell the way I am, But they are scared of Me I hate what I,ve become. I love my boyfriend,But my heart hurts thinking of you to much. I sit in My room with a 1000,000 thoughts in My head. Then the tears began to fall to the floor, Then I grab the knife and slit my wrist and scream in Pain. (I,m worthless noone loves me.) I just don,t even know anymore, I,m empty and lost Someone save me! I look around and noone,s there, I,m alone I try to forget but my mind is takeing over me&my body. I am trying to find myself in this crazy world. I try to get up But my body is limp, So I fall to the ground and lay there cold&useless. I,m not good enough and never will be. Memories of you flood My mind like a river. I shake&cry and try to dry my eyes. All I know is lies, I hope that you forgive me 1day, Everything is my own fault. I have nights where I stay up and think to myself When did I become like this? I have thought about Death, But that is not the answer. I,m in hell yes I pretend that I,m ok but I,m really not ok at all. My heart has been ripped out and thrown away, I feel like there,s nothing left to say, Just go away Pain leave me alone! I don,t want Pain anymore, Pain is so fucked up. Everyone just tells me to go away leave! I can bearly breath So I leave without another word said. I lay in my bed my sheets stained red. While I rest my tiny little head and overdose on some meds. Next thing I know I awake in a terrible daze. Doctors and people standing all around my hospital bed saying it,s gonna be ok. I can see clearly now and I say owww cause I feel a sharp Pain in my chest. It,s night now and I,m all alone I just want to go home. So I break loose and walk out the door, Now I realize people actually love me for who I am now not who I used to be. I walk in my house my parents are sitting on the chouch. I go to my room and go to sleep. The next morning I wake up for school, I put on My Bullet For My Valenetine T-Shirt and black skinny jeans as usual and grab all my things. When I walk in everyone stairs at me so strangely. Kaitlen what happend to you? Nothing why do you ask? I walk to class and sit in my seat. Then a new boy walks in my class, He sits down right beside me, we are alot alike He has brown hair, blue eyes and a Matallica T-Shirt on. Class begins I am bored as hell and can,t stop stairing at him. Hey im Zach what,s your name? My name is Kaitlen, That,s a pretty name I used to date a girl named Kaitlen. But she didn,t look like you. Oh that,s cool Zach! I just stare at him the rest of the class. I go to my lunch table and sit down nothing to eat of course cause I starve myself. All of a sudden he comes to the table with 2 plates in his hands. Kaitlen you have to eat, I don,t eat food Zach I,m not supposed to have any. I stare at him the whole time. Kaitlen do you want to study at your house this afternoon? Sure I would love that:) It was the end of school, He was following me home. We are inside of my house now. I thought this as soon as we sat down,(I am the girl He used to date:/). What,s wrong Kaitlen? I am the girl you used to date. I have been waiting for you for a year. Kaitlen Iv,e been missing you so much. I Love You I,m sorry for the way I acted. It,s ok I forgive you I,m sorry for cheating on you and lieing to you. I forgive you Kaitlen for everything. Zach then embraces Me with a Hug& I start crying. Kaitlen did I do anything wrong? No you didn,t I just never thought you would acutally come back to me:/ I know that I was a jerk Kaitlen. I just forgot about all the bad Zach everyone makes mistakes,But I have changed so much since you,ve been gone. I went from beeing a girly girl to a Emo Bitch and I like beeing Emo it,s help,s Me with all the crazy shit in this fucked up world. Kaitlen I have changed to from a Dick to a sweet loveing Emo Guy, I didn,t just forget you that will never happen ever.
© Copyright 2016 kaitlenzach. All rights reserved.
Essay / Religion and Spirituality
Book / Romance
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