Lying-- The Story

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Written based on the lyrics of Lying (Shuo Huang ??) sang by Yoga Lin (???)

Submitted: May 06, 2012

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Submitted: May 06, 2012

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Lying-- The Story

She had hid it very, very well.

When someone first think of Jocelyn, they first think of her vibrant, cheerful smile. When asked their first impression, a buoyant and elated girl is usually what everyone had in mind. A bit clumsy, perhaps, but she is those type of girls that can bring warmth and intimacy to the whole office.

Strangely though, she does not have a boyfriend. Granted, admirers aren't short in supply for adorable girls, there was never any response from her. As more and more successful entrepreneurs and affluent executives fails, people began to treat it as a part of her everyday life; They just treat it as an usual mystery without the interest to pursue the reason behind it..

I am glad that they do not. She always tells herself that. The more they wonder, the more I will have to reveal: How am I supposed to share to them about the days we had before? How am I supposed to....

'Jocelyn, could you please help me to take care of the new guy that is coming this afternoon?' Ariel rushed to her breathlessly and said, ' I'd really like to do it but I have to submit a proposal to the boss before tonight so I really don't have time. Can you do me this favor?'

'Don't worry, I will be responsible for him!' She noticed that she had already return to the cheerful tone. 'Just tell me when he will arrive, and I will take care of him as well as his wife!'

'Thanks a lot! By the way, his name is Roy.'

'Roy..... Roy?'

'That's right, Roy.... Oh, you are here already, Roy! I thought you will arrive in the afternoon. Anyway, this is Jocelyn, and she will be taking care of you for now. Just feel free to ask her anything; oh, but maybe not dating, because she never does. Well, perhaps you will be the lucky one?' Ariel giggles mischievously, then hurried away.

Actually, he was the lucky one.... Oh My GOD! This is Roy, I can't believe it! Oh....... He hasn't changed any since we last met, the same sparkling eyes, the same hook nose and the same.... calm down..... calm down.....  'Hi Roy! Nice to meet you! My name is Jocelyn! It is a pleasure to meet... to work with you!' She found her voice sharpened and cracking ' This is your new seat! Just settle down and ask me... just feel free to ask... no I mean... err.... Just treat it as your home!'

He patted me on the shoulder His hands did not changed any bit, just like last time..... 'Don't be so nervous, Jocelyn. It is not like we haven't met before.'
Yes, this is not the first time we met. This is not the first time we talk..... ' Okay, just treat it as your home, and ask me if any problems occur. I will be sitting next to you!' She nervously said.

For the whole afternoon, she was too distracted to focus on her work. She has forced herself repeatedly to stare at her screen, but seconds later, she will let her sight set on Roy setting up his computer. Or Roy sorting through the files. Or Roy passing through the corridor. She just could not let her sight leave Roy. She was not even aware that time was ticking away.

'Would you like to have dinner tonight? At the cafe just around the corner?'

Roy offered me.

'err.... I would have to eat with my parents....' she said it hesitantly. Yes! Yes! I really wish to have dinner with Roy tonight!

' I really would like to have dinner with you tonight and catch up with each other. Can you just spare one night?' Roy said it with utmost sincerity.

'Okay.... I will have to call my parents first...' She didn't notice that she was walking with a spring attached to her feet. 'Father, can I have dinner with you tomorrow night? er..... I am glad that you understand! See you tomorrow then!' 'Let's go! Do you have a booking?'

She grabbed his arm when they strolled down the walkway; it was just like the old days. It has been years since we have walked through this pavement to the cafe, but it is as sweet as ever!

When the waitress asked about where they wanted to seated, she remained silent, it is Roy who decided to sit at the corner.

It's this corner again. We have spent countless evenings in this corner, the oak table , the checkered cloth, the mild rose fragrance from the window,; Nothing has changed. The only thing that changed is our relationship.

'This is the first time you revisit this cafe, right?'

'Yeah... it is a surprise that the cafe has been completely renovated! Time really flies!'

Actually, it would be impossible for me not to notice that the cafe has renovated; From the day you left me, I have been walking past this cafe once a day, just to revive our memories....

‘So….. How are you recently? Have you been…. enjoying your life?’

‘Yeah! My job was fantastic; my parents are still perfectly healthy, so how can I be sad?’ she found her voice sharpened a bit.

‘Have you gotten into any romantic relationships lately?’ He asked gently.

‘Well, good guys aren't in shortage, right?' She said it with a sense of forced humor. 'But there isn’t one that is my cup of tea. You know, I have a very high standard. I don’t pick guys casually.’ She said it with pride, which only caused Roy to chuckle.

It is not that I have a high standard; it is just that no one is so perfect like you….

‘Okay… you have a high standard… I believe that. Or else you would not have picked me, right?’ He chuckled more… ‘I am glad that you are still the still humorous girl when I first met you. You are still so strong and tough.’

I may still appear to be strong, but just beneath the tough flesh lies a blood-dripping heart ... But never admit defeat! I am not a weak girl! ‘Don’t worry Roy, I have always, always been strong. I would never be brought down by such a trivial thing as a break up! How much hurt would a break up bring? I am not a fragile girl... A break up would never hurt me!' She tried hard to make it sound as convincing as possible.

She noticed that Roy's eyebrows raised a little bit as soon as she finished, which caused her to blush. Then she noticed that Roy is staring at her with a sense of skepticism, which caused her to blush even more. Jocelyn, don't show your weak side to him! Be strong! She added, 'C'mon, don't look at me like that! You know, I won't lie to anybody, especially you! Have I ever lied to you?'

Roy just gave her a quizzical look. 'Well, every time you blush, you are hiding something. I know that. But anyway.... er.... do you still remember the rose fragrance? Every time we came here, you always wanted to sit here-- you said the scent of rose would gave you a better appetite. Do you still remember?

I did not only remember the rose fragrance around this table, I remember every scent of rose that you have gifted me as present....

'Really?' she noticed that her voice is sharpening again; this caused Roy to give her another doubtful glance. 'Now that you mention it, I am starting to remember something.... but not much. I forgot most of my past already..'

'So... you forgot all the days we have spent together? That's not the Jocelyn I know. You sound a little bit... different today.

' You know, I have always been forgetful. It is not the first time that I forget things right? Years have passed and it is difficult for me to remember every detail.'

'Are you okay? You're acting strangely. The Jocelyn that I knew would have her sweetest memories all etched in her heart!'

'Well, it has been years since the last time I revisit these memories.' she felt her heart hurting as if salt is sprinkled on a fresh wound when she admitted, 'I haven't really talked to anyone about the days I spent with you before.

'After we broke up, you never shared this with anyone?' Roy said it with a sense of disbelief. 'You have never revealed yourself to the others in the office?'

' No.... I did not.  I just....... let bygones be bygones. I did not need to share it with anyone, anyway. I am a strong girl.' she added, although she know that she cannot fool anyone with it.

Just when Roy was going to raise a question, the waiter appeared with two entrées.

Just in time...... Or else, I might have to reveal the truth..

Both of them remained silent as they are busy with their meals, but after a while the silence was eventually broken by Roy.

'You were definitely different. You were no longer the girl that always reveals herself easily.'

'Time flies, Roy. Time can change anything.' she said it sadly.

'Yes, time can change anything. You are right.' Roy sighed.

'It is a sad fact, Roy. You have to accept it.'

'But won't you feel lonely, Jocelyn? You had never get used to be alone. You said you never wanted to live in solitude. You needed companions.'

'3 years before, I will definitely tell you that. But now I am more comfortable with being lonely. For now, I even find it uncomfortable to be with somebody else, even with you. Not that you are not a good companion, but just.... I wanted to be alone.'

By now, he has to know that I am defeated. He has to know that I am lying.

'Are you sure, Jocelyn? You looked really uncomfortable. You are definitely hiding something. No one on earth could ever change that much in 3 years.'

She sighed with plea. 'I know it might not seem convincing at all, but can we just drop this topic? I couldn't bear explaining it anymore. Can you just spare me? Can you just leave me my last shred of dignity?'

'Jocelyn..... Your mind is troubled. You really need help, from friends or people that you can believe in. Have you talked to your friends or anyone about it?'

How am I supposed to do it? When my heart is all about one man? One man only?

'No.... I did not! Who would understand me?' She found herself deeply annoyed by Roy's comment. 'Who would understand a girl who isolated herself from everyone just because she can never forget one man?'

'You still could not...... no wonder you are not revealing yourself to anyone! Everything you said before are lies! You are lying to everyone and to me to cover up that you still haven't recovered from your sadness when I left you!'

'Yes, yes I am lying just to cover up grief! I live a life under disguise!' She is screaming at the top of her lungs, attracting the whole cafe's attention. 'After all these years, no one really understands me... My life is so miserable and difficult!' She said it with tears in her eyes.

'Jocelyn, I would never have imagined it would hurt you so much.... I... I.....'

'You are the only one who know what is under my mask... and only you can take off this mask from me.' She said it with tears down her cheeks, 'Can we return to the old days? Those days when we are a happy couple?' Can we?

' It's too late.....'

Everything happened in a blur: She saw a women in a black suit come in to the cafe and sat beside them, calling Roy 'sweetheart'; She received a red envelope in traditional Chinese style containing a wedding invitation card for a wedding; She heard the woman began discussing their honeymoon's arrangement with Roy; She found herself bursting in tears; She found herself bolting out of the cafe, without anyone calling her name.

She then wandered on the street, aimlessly. There was only one thing in her mind: Roy is marrying without she being the bride.

The days we had are gone forever. Forever.

He used to promise me that our love will last forever until death do us part. Now that everything goes in vain. Every words are just lies. Lies.

'Lies! All lies!' She found herself screaming on her office building's rooftop, just steps away from the edge.

I have been lying. Roy has been lying. Everyone is lying.

She took a step towards the edge.

I am tired of lying to everyone. Just tired. I need to take a break.

She took another step.

Just forget it. Roy. It is just a lie. My existence is a lie.

She took the final step.

Roy, I love you. I sincerely wish that you will become a happy groom.

She closed her eyes, and stepped into thin air.

 

[The End]


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