"My Loneliness"

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
my take on the meaning of loneliness

Submitted: October 05, 2010

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Submitted: October 05, 2010

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LONELINESS
Mother Teresa once said that “Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.”[1]The dictionary define loneliness as the state of being alone insolitary isolation, being without companions.[2] It is characterized by aloneness. However, there is a difference between aloneness and loneliness. To be alone is to be by oneself. There is no one else around you. To be lonely, is to suffer the feelings of want and need. You want people, social contact, freindship, and yet unable to get any. [3]
A human being's existence is a lonely existence.  At the end of the day, we are all alone. We are born alone and we die alone. In addition, we are alone in our thoughts. No one can truly understand and experience your joys or sorrows. We can try to express what we are feeling by talking or drawing, but they never come across exactly the same way.
Loneliness is universal. Throughout the ages, loneliness has been depicted in music, literature and art. Everyone has felt lonely at one time or another, regardless of their status in society, wealth, or size of family and friends. It has been associated with a variety of different emotions. People who feel lonely describe it as a painful, agonizing sore. It is also associated strongly with feelings of depression, suicide, low self-esteem and aggression. Everyone should have some “me” time, but being lonely for too long may not be a good thing. Humans were meant to be social. We need each other to bond, to connect, and to love.
There are two types of loneliness: state loneliness and trait loneliness. State loneliness is when people rarely experience loneliness. They see it as a feeling that visits every now and then when they are alone and only have their thoughts to keep them company. It is usually generated more by the environment than the person.  For example: when it’s a long rainy day or you are bored or you go on vacation and you are missing your friends at home. Four years ago, I flew alone to Israel for the summer and I remember crying at nights and feeling so lonely because I missed my mom and dad.  The loneliness is generated by the circumstance you are in, and usually doesn't last very long (usually few days to a week). On the contrary, trait loneliness is when a person experiences loneliness all the time. For these people loneliness is a curse. It hovers over you. The feeling never leaves. The loneliness is generated from the person, although particular circumstances might intensify your experience of loneliness.[4]
Loneliness goes hand in hand with shyness. Shy people have major obstacles they have to overcome, both mental and physical. When you are shy, you believe that if you go and talk to people they will reject you. Aside from this, there are behavioral problems. By being shy, you may lack simple conversational skills to make new friends. Sometimes you may share too much information with the other person, sometimes you may not say enough and sometimes you just freeze.
When I was in elementary school I was very shy. I had a hard time making friends. I always kept convincing myself that no one would like me, that I was too weird and that it wasn’t worth the hassle. As a result, I didn’t make friends and was very sad and depressed. During recess I would sit in the corner by myself which made things worse. People tend to reject lonely people because they act lonely. Who likes the person that is always stuck in the corner and doesn't talk to anybody?  Not many people.  Most people like when others are outgoing and friendly. People they can talk to and relate.  If you don't make the effort to make friends, very rarely is anyone going to make the effort to make friends with you.  It's a vicious cycle that you need to get out of. 
There are a couple of ways that a person tries to cope with their loneliness. Spending money is one way. When you go out and shop in a mall that causes you to meet new people and intereact. In movies and tv shows when the girls are upset and feeling a bit lonely, you see them taking out their plastics and going shopping. The second way is called sad passivity. That is when a person is involved in types of behaviors that amplify your loneliness instead of relieving it.  These behaviors include such things as watching TV, sleeping, and eating. This form of coping only makes things worse. The best cure is to go and reach out to someone and get out of the house.
Loneliness is a state of feeling left out or cut off. It is also the sense of longing for others, due to lack of contact (physical or emotional) with people. It’s the worst feeling in the world. It is an inescapable feeling. In the words of Thomas Wolfe, “The whole conviction of.. life now rests upon the belief that loneliness, far from being a rare and curious phenomenon, peculiar to myself and to a few other solitary men, is the central and inevitable fact of human existence.”


[1] "Loneliness Quotes - Best Loneliness Quotes Loneliness Sayings Phrases Poems." Love Quotes | Cute Love Romantic Quotes | Love Quotes and Poems. Web. 29 Apr. 2010. .
[2]  "Loneliness- WordWeb Dictionary Definition." WordWeb Online Dictionary and Thesaurus. Web. 29 Apr. 2010. .
[3] "Type of Loneliness." Welcome to The Web of Loneliness. Web. 29 Apr. 2010.
[4] "Type of Loneliness." Welcome to The Web of Loneliness. Web. 29 Apr. 2010.


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