I don't understand-Dramatic Monologue

I do not understand. I don’t understand how you could just give up on me. How you could give up on us! My mother was the best thing that ever happened to you. She is the best thing that will ever happen to you. You will never find anyone who loves you as much as she does. I don’t understand how could just pack up your stuff and leave without even so much as a goodbye. We would have gone with you. We would have understood what was happening if you just told us. But no, you got all high and mighty and just left in the middle of the night. Thinking that it was better that way; that you were saving us from the pain and hurt. After you left mom got depressed. She cried herself to sleep every single night. She prayed for you to come home wondering if you still loved us. She wondered what she did wrong. I wondered what I did wrong. What did I do wrong? Why did you leave us? You missed out on our lives. You missed Charlie’s birth! You missed my father daughter dance. You missed Charlie’s first day of Kindergarten. You missed his first birthday. He came home from school the other day and asked mom where you were. Why didn’t he have a dad like the rest of the kids in his class? It took all she had to not burst out in tears in front of him. She simply told him that you were gone for a while.  But the thing is, you are not Charlie’s dad. Charlie doesn’t have a dad. You don’t deserve Charlie if all you’re going to do is walk in and out of his life like you had so many times with me. You may be my father, but you will NEVER be my dad. I hate you! I hate you I hate you I hate you! You are nothing to me. You are lower than dirt as far as I am concerned