My Dreamed Nightmare

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
Dreams, or your subconcious, can be your best advisor.

Submitted: June 30, 2011

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Submitted: June 30, 2011

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What is it like to have a broken heart?

 

It is when you feel yourself sinking into a vast ocean of frustration and never stopping. It is a sudden shatter of your self-worth into pieces. I love him. I really do. But I can’t tell him that. I am not brave enough. I can’t. Its like I let every opportunity that I have with him pass me by…I never grasp it tightly enough for me to hold on to it. Every precious and significant moment that I have with him I just let it go to waste by acting so awkward. I hate it. I hate myself for being like this. I don’t want to be like this.

 

I had a dream….in which I was waiting in a line. There were many girls standing ahead of me. I did not even know my purpose of standing in that line, but I kind of figured it out when I reached the front of it. He was sitting there in a desk. All those girls were forming a line for him. I was one of them. He was interviewing every girl that stepped up. My turn was next. I could not possibly do it. I just couldn’t. So I let the girl behind me take my spot. I stepped back. She stepped forward. When it was my turn again I quickly decided to let the other girl behind me take my stop once again. It kept on going like that. Before I knew it, I was the only one left. There was no other choice. I had to face him. My worst fear. Finally when I was brave enough to take the plate…I stepped forward…but suddenly there were two giant doors in front of me. They closed shut….eliminating him from my view.

 

Seeing him hurts…why? If it is love why does it hurt? His flirtatiousness annoys me! Why can’t he stop looking?? Why can’t he stop looking and searching when he has me? If he would only take time to consider what is close to him rather than chasing after the impossible. Why? Am I a fool for trying so hard …am I a FOOL?? I don’t want to keep trying because every effort that comes out of me just seems to be in vain…nothing happens…just a friendship that he can’t seem to look past. I have to stop and hit myself with the painful reality. He will never me mine! Even though in every prayer that I make…his name will always be in the mist of it.


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