I lay on the tainted matress, the cool earth beneath me does not phase me.
The promises you bring to me do not lighten the weight on my mind.
You know it to be true.
You barely believe the lies you speak yourself anymore.
You roll over.
I stay flat.
We're two of a kind you and I.
Children lost in the world of common found abandonment.
We try to seek condolence in each other.
Sort of like some warped relationship between a sister and brother.
Unsuccessfully trying to show affection, stroking the other's ego by physically becoming appeasing to both the eye and mind.
We fail tremendously.
Your father use to beat you, mine died simply abruptly.
You fought back and I found myself talking to the white walls.
You kiss me briefly, it feels like the meeting between eyelash to skin.
Only for a moment do I allow myself to relish in this silly realization.
I made you my common known nation, what I received as cynical nourishment.
I shouldn't have.
You wanted something bright and meaningful in your life.
I dim too quickly and lose meaning very easily.
You look for acknowledgment by purchasing my gratitude and soon to be my yearning.
You find great accomplishment by receiving my blind devotion.
Like a tap for water, you always have a healthy amount to drink from.
You fight all means to sink into the warm pools of liquid that use to be me ever again.
Just that once.
Too afriad of a shiver, quivering at the thought of getting your ego lost once more.
You know all my tricks, I exploited all of them to you when I fell for all yours.
The guidance we lack from our missing mentors, makes us constant roamersof the colorless world.
When we spot vibrancy, we simply latch on to it, suck the hue dry of all that it posses.
Hungry for more, I'll have to wait for a particular fill.
Unlike you, the difference I've found so prominent between us, is that I have to wait, rejuvenate my body, my mind, into inhabiting another color., a place to make bright.
You can strive off the browns and grays of this universe, but I have to have what use to shine so brightly from you, a perfectly glistened reflection of me.
Something safe to dive in with, into these motionless seas.
Collaborate and make glowing, the waters shall erupt, when the tool of explosion I find makes an equally big impact within my mind as flawlessly as you did.
I'll try to fathom the intensity, the vibrancy, and intelligence that surrounded me when I was with you through another.
It won't be easy but I'll look for it anyway.
Our brains once conjoined are now detached, I must never forget that.
I hope you rekindle whatever is good between you and your dad.
The white walls are calling for a conversation, I must not leave them waiting.
© Copyright 2016 Kathleen Megquier. All rights reserved.
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