I remind myself you're just human.
What's the worse you could do?
The flowers fall, the leaves whisper, the trees tower over my entire being.
I feel you through all of it.
Everything, every glimpse of nature is you.
I know you're not that powerful, your impact on the world too small.
Then why has my world shrunk to the size of an ant.
Why has my libido become so inexplicably nonexistent.
I use to love to be kissed, yearned to be touched.
Now thinking of you is the only must in my life.
Everything else can wait.
I don't need water, I don't need air, I don't need food.
The nourishment of my body is a fool without you.
A starving, hungry fool.
One that can't help itself.
Sitting in the corner I lie to myself, remembering that you left me and that I no longer need your company.
Funny reassurance like that, keeps the meaning to laugh still prominent in my dwindling life.
I take down the pictures, erase the names and thoughts of what reminds me of you.
I'm no longer that strong, consistent thing that holds whatever was sparkling inside of you bright and vibrant.
The wolves cry at night, the birds chirp once the sun rises.
The daily routine never seems to fail.
The only thing that defines failure, is me.
I can't take what you brought alive in me, to use.
It's tool is useless unless I have you to use and fix what's so freakishly broken inside of me.
Just pretend you love me?
© Copyright 2016 Kathleen Megquier. All rights reserved.