Not really looking for anything in particular.
She got more than what she ever wanted.
His lips like glass, glass that would never crack.
Invincible it felt.
Indestructible was what she was told.
When he left she wasn't all that sure on what to do.
She'd count the marks on the ceiling, sketch briefly on the pale walls.
After awhile she began to shed her skin, cut off her hair.
Became this reborn character.
Redesigned, she knew that she would find that lover that would uncover this cloak of protection she shields herself with.
After all, hasn't this already happened?
After kissing all that was left of him, his ashes were simply the only remains left.
She couldn't hold, or withdraw from his memory.
She stayed loyal until the people from the cemetery pulled her away.
Told her she just couldn't stay.
Now when she thinks of him, she only hopes for the best.
Honestly, what else could anyone ever say to her that would reassure that she'd be okay?
She doesn't know that, and neither do you.
After awhile her make- up became thick, coats beyond coats.
She wanted to be someone else entirely.
Stacked high were a shelve of unread books.
She hasn't touched a single story since that day.
His eyes of blue, his dark hair matted in the front of his face, after a morning jog.
Oh how she missed the smell of sweat and ethic that poured off him.
Now she has nothing but the sore memory of what protection use to feel like.
Alone, with all the lights turned off, she doesn't second guess herself, when she pushes him onto the bed, he kisses her neck, but only for that moment.
After everything has become overused, overrunning, she scans herself in the full length mirror.
She's grown alright, just not in the way she would have liked.
He's sprawled out on the bed, the sheets a mess underneath him.
She laughs at the thought of him waking up and she being gone.
She crawls back over to him, huddles underneath his arm.
Safe and sound.
So she likes to believe.
He'll wake up, he won't hesitate to leave her.
Commitment so strong, but for all the wrong reasons she stays.
Only the mere delay of minor breakups and slight makeups, will this lust continue.
She pushes the stars from right out of her brain, the waterfall of the purest liquid flows from her mouth.
Sparkles glistening wet.
She knows that she's kept herself well intact.
If only the drainage would stop, keep herself from leaking and running out.
Crying out, she can only look at herself, and the mistakes she has made.
The ones that he has created don't seem to phase that crater of an ego he sets high above his shoulders.
She is left with the regret.
© Copyright 2016 Kathleen Megquier. All rights reserved.
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