how can i say goodbye.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
poetry from year 10.

Submitted: April 07, 2013

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Submitted: April 07, 2013



That terrible moment when my throat constricts

my head growing light and conscious heavy.

Eyes betraying, gleaming


in the lack of light as I glimpse

away from the things that hold my focus,

just for a moment,

before realizing that I have to look back.

But I won't cry.

anger growing, layer by layer,

in my chest,

tighter in my body than I wish;

the result of trying to protect your heart,

but only hurting everything else

that kept me in balance.

I can observe;

I can criticize;

I can understand

everything that I do during these moments, but

nothing keeps me from stopping them.  

For I can look to the future

and hope that I can change

whatever path I'm on,

but disappoinment

from the past can't help

but turn my head away.

I see the people who meant me dear, 

the people who once knew the tales

they believed as fantasy.

I see the smiles and happy


and you

and me

and everything I had dreamed of,

just barely

in yet another place

to which I can never return.

I see the simple mistakes

which I had made,

the misunderstandings,

the innocent choices,

the innocent thoughts

harbored without fear.

I see the way that I felt;

I was safe

under a misconception

that you were invested

in something you wanted to be;

that you cared.

And I see the way how 

forced these onto you-

to care for something 

no one should have to do.


and now, I see

the happiness I once had,

looking at you,

in your eyes,

looking away from me.


So no, I won't cry.

I won't cry for your freedom,

your perfection.

But the urge is still there

for what 

I have put you through.

© Copyright 2018 Kathryn Thorne. All rights reserved.