It's that hide-and-seek kind of feeling.
It's the one where
Faith knows innocence and fear
And all I know is Beauty.
It's falling in love with the feeling of Ecstasy.
Jiminy, friend, I should have listened to you
And where you predicted this would go.
I now know- we did fall to the ground that night.
Were we really nothing to you?
Because we were a hell of a lot of nothing to me.
How come I never noticed the strings
Wrapped around us?
Or how fragile they were?
My fortune cookie warned:
A tall stranger will enter our life,
But I want no more entrances,
No more exits,
No more tall strangers,
In this life we used to call ours.
I feel betrayed in the same way
Cassandra and Apollo were.
Was her kiss really worth our downfall?
Was the heartache worth the ashes of a friendship
You seem to not want to rebuild?
[I feel unattractive
I feel dirty
I feel broken]
Now I see what you all are so afraid of-
It's the pain of an empty vase
And not finding a man who you ask for flowers
And he says, you want flowers?
I'll plant you a whole garden.
It's the pain of changing our minds
About a beautiful January day
And a wonderful rainy night.
It's the realization that
A secret life can be beautiful
Even when the rest of the world is burning down.
I want to take it all back
But there is some emotional investment you can't.
And all I can do is give a toast:
Here's to everything I thought we were.
© Copyright 2016 Kathryn. All rights reserved.