What The Hell Have I Become?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: July 13, 2012

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Submitted: July 13, 2012



 What are you going to do now? After standing in front of the mirror for ages just asking yourself "What's wrong with me?" What is there left to do? You were just angry. She was being stupid and annoying and at the time there was nothing wrong with yelling "shutup!" screaming and slamming your bedroom door. "What's wrong with me?" you ask your reflection again, and again, and again. Then the tears roll down your cheaks because you don't recognise yourself anymore. Well, you recognise yourself, but that's the scariest part, you know this person but she's not you. She can't be. How could she be? You're not crazy, or at least that's what you tell yourself. 

How long has this been going on for? Are you sick? Is there something going on in your head that shouldn't be? Why does killing them seem like such an easy task. You're crying again. You don't want to kill them, you love them. 
"Would you mind if I hurt you? Understand that I need to? Wish that I had other choices than to harm the one I love. What have you done now?!" ~ Within Temptation 
Write, sing, do anything, just don't go near that mirror. You won't like what you see. 
"I know I better stop trying, you know that there's no denying... I know I should stop believing, I know there's no retrieving, it's over now, what have you done? What have you done now?" 
She asks you to watch your little brother while they go out, you agree, but put your head phones on. You can't face him, you can't even look at her, you talk to her through the door. She can't see you, she can't know that your outburst was anything other than being an angry, a teenager. 
"and faith will slip away, shattered pieces will remain as memories fade into emptyness... I'm frozen, what can I do?" 
What can I do? can I fix myself? But maybe there's nothing to fix. 
"Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken..." 
What's wrong with me?
"Why? Why does fate make us suffer?" 
"Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to cause you hell?.. It's over now, what have you done? What have you done now?" 
What have I done? What have I become?

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