The End of Me

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
Wrote this about some mistakes I made in a relationship and was sick of being the person I was.

Submitted: June 04, 2010

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Submitted: June 04, 2010

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There comes a time in your life when everything seems to stop
When all you have ever felt begins to float to the top
When everyone begins to stare at you and ask about your attitude
And all that you can do is blow up and say I’m mad at you
 
And I blame it on the feeling that I get in my chest
An explosion waiting to happen but never expect
Cause it sits inside my chest, no intention of going
A personal parasite that only seems ever growing
 
Easily pushed over edge even at the smallest nudge
Turning me into someone that I know I never was
Cause I’m taking for granted everything that I wanted
And the consequences have left me crawling and haunted
 
But year after year the only thing that I did
was run as fast and as far as I possibly could
From the problems that I face, it has done me no good
Now everything has built up to this one final push
And I’m afraid cause I can see below, a pitch black abyss
 
Fuck, I’m sick of this person, put it all in a blender
Maybe that will cure a heart that’s made of nothing but callous
The relationships I have, you see, they’re all that of silk
No more friction to protect them from what comes off of these lips
 
But that’s it. I will not stand for this person I’ve become
And I know the reason I am this way is not all my fault
With a family that seems to be ever growing calamity
A tragedy that leaves me with such a brutal reality
 
But I can choose to act a way and never go back that way
And I can choose to be the person that I’ve always said and proclaimed
What’s important is in front of me, this is what I’ve learned to see
I’m never going back cause this is who I choose to be
 
No more will I let the past raise the anger I’ve been
No more will my relationships continue to suffer from it
I only wish you could look inside of me
And understand my desire to be
Showing you this side of me
won’t be easy until you decide to believe me entirely
 
So listen, I will never go back to that person, I was selfish
I Can’t believe I thought that I had really earned your friendship
But this is someone you can definitely count on
Cause I can’t wait to be told you’re something to be proud of


© Copyright 2019 Kayla Holden. All rights reserved.

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