Pian. Love? Death!

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
this is whats happening to me... 12/11/11...

Submitted: December 12, 2011

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Submitted: December 12, 2011

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Part one: pian.

you broke me,

you hurt me,

you crushed my heart.

so i gave myself pian to stop the pian you gave me.

blood drips from my arm, drips from my neck, drips from my heart, drips from my soul.

I swallow the pills to end it all, i thought it was many.

3 pills

3 pills

mabey 3 more? i dont rember past 6....

light up a smoke.

puff... ahh..

puff.. ahh..

puff.... stop...

I dont want to inhale anymore...

BURN

BURN

BURN

BURN

thats better, light it up agian...

part two: love?

she saw my hand as i lit it agian. covered in blood still, it scared her.

fear takes over

pulling tight on my hand

drag

drag

drag

she made me show her, she made me regret. she told me to follow. i had to listen.

it hits her

im not me

its not me

not me

it cant be.

into the bathroom, turn on the sink,

rinse

rinse

rinse.

my arm is clean, but she isent done.

she graps the toilet paper, of course the toilet paper. wetens it. she gently wipes it off, cleaning the wounds on my neck. my scares of love my scares of hate, she is trying to rub away

feelings of regret....

"is that all youve done?" she qeustions.

i tell them not to worry.

"was it pills?" of course she siad. how would she know, how would she know,

she geussed it,

first try

first try,

first try.

the tears come. i wont admit how many. mostly cause i dont know. 8? 9?10? 11 mabey? i dont rember so i dont say.

tears pouring,

tears pouring,

tears pouring.

part 2: love? (con.)

she has to go. we walk out the door and you follow. but before she gets far she is on her kneeling

bawling

sorrowing

so i walk to her, hold her, try to comfort her. she wont stop crying. i ask whats wrong and she confeses.... no not her love,i doubt she loves me like i love you... oh how i wish you loved me too... but she confeses her losses, how she can not have anymore. so i hold her.

regret

regret

regret....

she still needs to go home so i walk her. your with us. you dont care about that pian that is going on, it seems.

i hold her hand as she crys. its warm i think. it might be cold though. i cant tell, the meds are kicking in.

i just want her to stop. it hurts me to see her cry. i dont know why... she isent you, shes not the one i love, so why dose it hurt.

i tell her im not worth the tears. im rlly not. she dosent belive me why wont they just let me go.

we get to her house, i hug her, i hesitently hug you, i hug her....

part three: Death!

i walk with your new boyfreind, my supposed "bestestestest freind". i hugged him. i trold him it wasent his fault.

it wasent

it wasent

it wasent

i walked home.... the thoughts of you taking controll agian, but this time there was a second thought... her. it made me want to stop the pills.

i gagged myself hoping it would work...

one

two

three times then vomit

whyd you have to do this too me...


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