Under The Eyes Of The Moon

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic

This is an insert from a novel I have been toying with. I would love feedback on it. Scary part was on a night picnic out in the woods when we both came up with this idea for a novel.

"Beautiful."he muttered into the night air as his brain burned the memory of every feature displayed before him.So timeless.From the color of her milky satin skin to the swan lenght of her elegant neck.The lockets of her coal hair encased her.Making the cherry lips even more intense.
His trembling hand reached out to caress her cheek only to pull out due to fear.How could he dare feel himself worthy to marr a piece of art that was clearly the results of God's best work ever?He leaned in a little closer.His breath danced across the etched cheekbone as he inhaled the scent of her.Feeling her essence caress the walls of lungs.It was almost his undoing.
"Do you know what you do to me?" he whispered into her ear "I loved you in high school.I loved you when you married Austin.I still love you today."
  She said nothing.Silence hung in the night air.Not even the creatures of the Georgia forrest uttered a note.It was as everything was waiting on her response.He looked into her eyes.Blank of any form of emotion.He thought he saw a hint of contempt flash across her motionless lips.Without warning anger seeped from every pore of his body like a dark cloud.
"That isn't enough for you is it! You would rather have the trappings of money given by a dark hearted man than have the love of one who truly cares! Damn you!" He screamed as he jumped up from her side.
He walked a few feet from her.As if waiting for her to beckon him back to her side.That request didn't come.He turned back to face her.His eyes really taking in the sight of what laid before him.In a matter of moments she faded from the perfect example of God's greatest work to something that barely held a form that resembled human much less beauty.The etched cheek was marred with discoloring as time claimed her.The very scent of her was earth and rotting meat.
He felt the world closing in on him.As if it knew his most shameful secret.Evenn the hoot owl resting on the branch a few yards from him seemed to know what he had done.Judging him.Waiting for just the right one to come along so it could tell his misdeeds.Reveal who he truly was.
He covered her with the old blanket that had been forgotten in his car for so long.The same one he had used on a picnic they had shared when they were just teenagers.Then without thhe love he claimed to have had for her only moments before, he pushed her into the week old hole he had gotten her from.He went to the task of throwing earth around her til she couldn't be seen.His eyes scanning for anything he might have forgotten the whole time he was working on his task at hand.
He stepped away.His heart sad.The truth had finally sunk in.He would have to replace her.She was no more use to him.Death had claimed her now.It was time for him to move on.He began whistling a showtune as he threw the shovel in the trunk.By the time he would pull out of the untraveled area shhe was not only out of his mind but out of his heart.He was truly ready to move forward.


Submitted: August 01, 2009

© Copyright 2021 kdstorm. All rights reserved.

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Comments

buddhkist

Wow. I really liked this. At first I thought it was just another romance story but the ending kinda snuck up on me. :-)

Sun, August 2nd, 2009 2:52am

Author
Reply

LOL Thanks. I wasn't sure it would be all that good so I wanted to test it out before I got attached to the story. I am a big fan of the old twight zone movies and want to do the twist and turns like those movies.

Sat, August 1st, 2009 10:53pm

to lie on the floor without holding on

Yeah, I didn't see it coming. Very well-written! This is a great concept, I think you should continue :)

Sun, August 2nd, 2009 4:24am

Author
Reply

Thank you very much. I am thinking I will. Just to see where i can go with it.

Sat, August 1st, 2009 10:54pm

palewriter

I've always been a fan of the twilight zone! (a game of pool, A stop Willoughby!, Twenty-two, Back there, The Howling man,) The night gallery was also good as was One step Beyond (Earthquake, Tidal wave...) which actually came first if i'm not mistakin. This was a good story with a good twist. Serial killers often come back to the scene of the crime and keep momentoes of their victims BTW.

Sun, August 2nd, 2009 3:30pm

Author
Reply

I have never hear of The Night Galley. I will have to look into that one. I am also a huge fan of a show called Tales of the Crpty. Trust me this one will get stranger as the story goes on. Was working on chapter one last night when OI should have went to bed (SHAME ON ME!!!!) Made me late for work today.

Sun, August 2nd, 2009 3:43pm

BLOODTHIRSTY

WOW I LOVE THIS ONE. The ending was a shocker.. I love it!!!!

Mon, August 3rd, 2009 4:25pm

Author
Reply

Thanks. I figured you would enjoy the way it has a twist to it.

Mon, August 3rd, 2009 9:39am

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