On Monday, June 27, 2022, Kevin Moylan <moylankevin87@gmail.com> wrote:

 oooThe year is 2035.  When the video game predicted the end of the world I should have taken it more seriously.Weren't these things supposed to be fun? Maybe I should introduce myself my name is Hanson Ferd I am a 45 year old bachelor, and I am the only survivor in a city that used to house 20,000+ people.All of the major cities are gone, the sun comes out only a few times a week and it occasionally rains poison. When that happens you have to go inside or else you better pray for a extra life. I haven't seen another person in over a year and have been living off of tuna fish,if I hear the sound of a can opener one more time I might go insane(er?) That old gag about cockroaches being the only survivors of a nuclear apocalypse was bullshit the only visible living things left on earth are people all the plants and animals have perished but I KNEW this was going to happen the game told me everything everything everything.........
I found the cartridge at a yard sale in the year 2000, the game was already old then it worked for my old 16-bit 90s video game system, the legendary Super Fantastic Wormhole. It was a game I had never heard of a role-playing game or R.P.G. called "The World is Mine so Shut Up!" It was only five dollars which was mind blowing at the time. The man who was running the yard sale was let's sayyyy unique. R.P.G.s are kind of like electronic board games with a heavy emphasis on the storyline me being the little nerdoid I was loved the fuckers so this was a find and a half. The man selling the game wore taped together eyeglasses was almost eight feet tall, underweight and had a pony tail that dragged on the ground he was staring off into space singing to himself when I walked up to him with my allowance money, "um sir" I said "I'd like to buy this game please, it looks really cool" He turned to me and grunted spat on the ground and cleared his throat, "ah ha somebody had excellent taste, that one is quite the challenge" I stared at the fallout shelter on the cover and frowned "really 'cause I've never even heard of this one..." "That's because it was the first R.P.G. for the system back in '91 and hardly sold any copies, it has a huuuuuuge cult following though,I have a network of friends online who talk about all the secrets and puzzles in it all the time and the soundtrack is killer" "That's cool" I said "I've played Funk Wizardz and Congo Quest Trigger but this looks more like sci-fi than sword and sorcery." The man got still and very serious "yes yes but what if I told you this game was actually science FACT?, what if it told you things you didn't want to hear or learn about?" I was starting to get creeped out he broke out in laughter "I'm just fooling around kid,this games awesome, that'll be five bucks please!" I handed him the five dollar bill without saying anything and got the hell out there.
Since it was a Saturday night I didn't have any homework to do so I had all the time in the world to kick some pixel's ass. I blew into my new cartridge and slammed it into the Wormhole. The logo of the company that made the game flashed up on the screen first, Soothsayer Games,I had never heard of that programmer before but it didn't matter. The screen when black and then a stealth bomber flew across the screen it opened it's cargo door and dropped an atomic bomb which hit the ground  and flashed into a big red and yellow mushroom cloud. The game's title fell from the top of the screen right above the cloud in neon green letters "THE WORLD IS MINE SO SHUT UP!" I pressed start and began the game. I named myself Spud Tango and the game began. It started simply enough like most R.P.G.s I was just an average Joe hanging out in his hometown before anything exciting happened, BUT something was off I know the game was made in 1991 and know it sounded vain,but the little guy in the game looked.....like......me...he had the same blue eyes,the same facial features, the same haircut and oddly enough was dressed the same that's what weirded me out the most. "No I was reading to much into this" I calmly said to myself and started the game it was ok BUT the hero's bedroom had the same furniture and posters as my room and HOLY SHIT the same dirty laundry was left in the same places on the floor! "Nope nope nope I'm being paranoid it's just a game boyo maybe you've been playing too many of them" That's when the character's/my mother walked in my/his room with a bowl of his/my? favorite food clam chowder. I turned the game off with out saving and jumped into bed, sleep would be my escape from this madness.
I was a very superstitious child and didn't touch the game for years eventually I grew out of playing video games and forgot it was tucked away in my bedroom closet until that one night in 2006 on my 16th birthday when I snuck in drunk I decided to break out the Wormhole and get nostalgic. I first played my childhood favorite "Excellent Banzino" It was about a world class boxer who moonlighted as a private eye and hunted down U.F.O.s. I got to level 15 when I started to get bored and felt sleepy BUT that's when I came across "The World is Mine So Shut Up" it all came back to me and this time I didn't get creeped out I just thought it was funny that as a child I actually believed I saw myself in a video game. I popped in the jam and prepared to geek out when unfortunately it got weird all over again. It wasn't the beginning of the game like last time I played, and the characters weren't the same this time the main dude looked how I might look at age 25 and he/me wasn't in my/his childhood bedroom I/he was in a bomb shelter and a calendar on the wall read that it was the year 2011. I shrugged I must have started a file and just forgot about it. I walked around the bomb shelter nothing too interesting.....let's look for the door....I stepped outside of the bomb shelter and found probably the ugliest looking video game I had ever seen. The graphics weren't bad just unpleasant all of the trees were dead the grass and water were brown there was garbage everywhere and the music was dull and moody. I walked around the map when for a few seconds when it started to rain green each time I got hit by a rain drop my health when down a little bit,I went into the first house I could find. All there was in the house was a table with a newspaper on it I decided to read it to see if I could figure out what was going on. The date read May 6th, 2010 the headline read "US SURRENDERS NUCLEAR WEAPONS DROPPED ON EAST COAST WWIII OVER". This was supposed to be one of the best videogames of all time!? More like most depressing "next!" I screamed to no-one and threw the game across the room and popped in "American Chop Suey: Code Danger Zone".
The last time I played the game was the night before I went to college in the summer of 2008. This was the strangest time of all this time I was how I looked last time but everything was bright and cheerful people were everywhere little animals ran to and fro and the music was upbeat and catchy I was stoned out of my mind so I loved it until out of nowhere there was a flash and the ground shook for four or five minutes as the sky grew darker everybody was running lol around screaming about Russia or China or Terrorism or God.....this was pretty dark for a kids game I turned it off and never played it again.
On May 6th 2010 after conflict in the middle east and Russia the former Soviet Union got tired of being just talk and bombed the east Coast flat. Before America could get back on it's feet Russia used nuclear weapons all over what was left of the U.S. in 2013 2015 and 2017 and 2018 and 2021.China used nuclear weapons on the west coast in 2011 2014 2015 and 2019 2023 2024 2025 and 2030. The survivors were pissed at the dead, lucky bastards.
So here I sit all these years later in a teepee losing my teeth and my mind but its not too bad I fucking love/hate tuna and need a haircut but things could be so much worse hahahaahbahabbha ah a haha but you know two questions haunt me to this very day...I KNEW what was going to happen! why didn't I warn anybody?! would they have believed me?! What would I have said? "um yea so I just smoked some pot and played a video game that I'm in so Russia is going to nuke us and I have to stop it" no they would have thought I was nuts But what scares me the most...  what about the man who sold me the game and all his online "friends"? did they know too? Were they a part of something bigger? Was the game cursed? a coincidence? am I just making this up? Doesn't matter....hey wanna play a few rounds of duck hunt before I eat you?


Submitted: July 05, 2022

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