The Pain of Falling in Love

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
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Submitted: March 30, 2015

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Submitted: March 30, 2015

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The first time I ever saw her, she was standing alone, inclined on a rail looking out to nowhere. she seemed to be in her own little world and didn't give a care about what happened around her. my friend presented me to her, but she didn't speak nor did she even look me in the eye. her careless expression left a mark in my head, I couldn't stop thinking about what was going through her head. The more time passed and the more I noticed that she filled every ounce of my thoughts.

we became friends. she turned out to be the kind of the person who does silly jokes and the kind of person that smiles as if there was no other better thing in the world. she captivated me and I became enticed by her beautiful thoughts and her amazing smile. one day, I wanted to talk to her, just like every other day, but her attitude towards me was strange. almost as if she didn't want me around. the more I thought about it the more stressed I became. I tried asking her later that night, but she would only ignore me and it got me even more worried. days passed and I didn't hear anything from her. I didn't even try to confront her, just the thought of her hating me for some reason was tearing me apart. I spent a couple of weeks trying to figure out what was so wrong, but nothing would come to mind so I did the only thing I could, I asked her what was going on. 

she was angry, angry at the fact that I didn't even try to talk to her for the past couple of weeks. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't my intention, that the reason behind that was because I thought she hated me, but she wouldn't listen to me. the more we talked, the more it seemed like she just wanted me to go away and so I did the only thing I thought could to get her to believe me, I told her the truth. I told her that I loved her and that she meant so much to me. The first thing that went through my skull was that she was gonna tell me she was sorry, didn't felt the same way and I would end up all alone just like I always do. turns out that I was completely right. in those very words she told me she didn't feel the same way and that she was sorry. in the end, she even told me that I needed to go away because I was too much trouble for her. I kinda expected something like this to happen, but the pain of falling in love with her and loosing her brought me to tears. After this, I keep moving on through these days, the thought of her always ruins my day I can't stop thinking about her. no matter what I do, I will always want her close to me, but she will never want me close. "Is this all that my life is gonna be about?". I can never fall in love again so that I will never feel this pain again.

 


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