It was a cold day. As I turned around and try to fall asleep, I pulled the blanket higher and tried to snuggle in. As I opened my eyes, the clock stared back mockingly. It was 5 in the morning. Defiantly trying to overpower the hangover, I tried to pull myself up. I couldn't. Ignoring the fact that I'm going to be late, I turned and tried to embrace Laura's warmth. Patting the empty space of the bed, I realized something-- she wasn't there. I opened up my eyes, and welcomed gazed upon the blank ceiling. I remembered something: my wife, my pregnant wife, was murdered right before my very eyes.
Everything began to set in. The anger, hatred, sorrow, and every damn feeling that makes people feel like total shit started stirring in my head. I got up, and mumbled "What's the point of it all," to myself. As I walked towards the drawer across the room, I passed all the pictures that Laura and I took in our vacation in the Bahamas. I'd kill to see her smile like she did in those pictures once more. As I opened the drawer, I looked for the thing that would help me forget about everything. As I pushed all of my office materials to the side, I saw it stare back at me. It's shiny silver color glimmering as the sun shined its early-morning rays on it. I greeted it with a smile and said "Hello there, friend." As I took the object out of the drawer, I thought to myself if I should really do this. Without any form of regret left, I pulled out my revolver.
"To hell with it all," I said, as I turned the gun, and pointed the barrel at my temple. I tried to think of regrets, and things to live for, but I had none. The woman that I loved, and my child was gone; murdered, right before my very eyes. It only started to hurt more when I thought of the things I could have done to save them. I tried to well up tears at the very least, but I couldn't. Somehow, I just can't. Maybe I've finally ran out of tears to shed. As I closed my eyes, I began to bring the hammer of the gun back. I tried to come up with something, a silver lining in my mess of a life, but I couldn't. Taking a deep breath, I started to pull the trigger, and began counting down. Three. "I wonder what my life would've been with Laura after we settled down and had two kids." Two. "What would've been a good name for our child. I was really hoping we would've agreed on Ralph. What kind of sport would I have had him play. What would it be like to sit on the bleachers during the weekends, screaming his name as he serves up an ace against some other poor kid. I wonder...I wonder." One. "Now that I think about it, did I even see that son of a bitch's face as he stabbed my wife?"
Suddenly, I had lost all the resolve that I had to end it all. Come to think of it, I haven't even seen the face of my wife's murderer. At the very least, I want to see the bastard get caught, and at the very very least, watch him get the death penalty before I go. I looked out the window, and drank in the view of the mellow shade that the sky took after. I smiled. "I can't believe it, I'm actually smiling," I thought. With the smile came the tears. With the tears came the giggle. With the giggle came the laughter that filled the whole room. As my laughter died down, I looked down and gave my gun a joyous look, and whispered "There's my silver lining."
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