The Things I Can't Say

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Recently, a fire took over a family very close to me. It not only destroyed their house, but it took 3 of their 4 children as well. These kids were some of my favorites. I never thought that I'd lose them. This was a part of my way of coping with it all.

I can’t say

that just because some time has passed

that it doesn’t hurt

to see their pictures

everywhere I go,

or hear about the controversies

about how this whole thing started.

 

I can’t say

that I’m not angry

with the people around

who say

they know how I feel,

because they don’t.

How could they possibly know?

Or those people who think

that I don’t care

because I choose not to cry

around them.

 

I can’t say

that I’m not broken,

in need of a solution.

Because I am.

Everyday it is

an uphill battle,

and the tasks

that were once hard enough

are now seemingly painful;

impossible.

 

I can’t say

that it’s not hard

to tell people

that I’m fine,

even though

I know I’m not;

that I need

to find a way out

of this hurt,

but am more afraid

of seeing a therapist.

I need to do something.

I just don’t know what.

Their voices echo

in my head.

When I think

of the good times,

and then,

I remember

that this was

a horrible accident

that never should have happened

to us.

But it seems selfish

to say that I would give up

anything and everything

to have been able to prevent it;

to make my life better;

to take away the hurt.

 

I can’t say

that I’ve accepted the fact

that this has happened.

Because I haven’t.

I’m still learning to forget

the horror that this was

in my life.

 

I can’t say

that everyday gets easier,

but it’s knowing

that it won’t hurt as much

as I learn to remember

how much I loved them

while they were here.

 


Submitted: March 01, 2016

© Copyright 2021 kenziemadden13. All rights reserved.

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