Skids (Screenplay) Part 14

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Following the exploits of a group of friends who live small lives and have even smaller ambitions, "Skids" is a window into their lives as they carry on into their early twenties, while still living very much like teenagers. Will any of them escape this downward spiral into mediocrity? And more importantly, do any of them want to? When drinking, partying and acting like a bunch of fools are your chief concerns in life is there really any reason to change? - available on Amazon - 14 parts in total

Submitted: November 16, 2014

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Submitted: November 16, 2014

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ROGER

I guess that's the girl I've been waiting

for...and hoping for... hoping she'd have

the common sense...to throw it all

away...for just one moment...of true

passion...one moment in the name of

passion...

 

There is a moment of silence between them.

 

JULIE

Hmm...that would be quite a girl...hard

to find I'd imagine.

 

ROGER

Yup.

 

JULIE

Ok.  You can open your eyes now.

(smiles)

Welcome to the twentieth century.

 

Roger opens his eyes and checks out his new hair.

 

ROGER (NODDING APPROVAL)

Hmm...not bad.  You took a few liberties

with the length but...I think you found

your calling.

 

Roger gets up and puts his jacket on.

 

ROGER (CONT'D)

So what do I owe you?

 

JULIE (SMILES)

It's on me.

 

ROGER (SMILES)

Thanks.

 

Roger starts to head towards the door.  Julie thinks to herself before she stops him.

 

JULIE

And what if this girl...was the right girl...

and didn't have the courage...to throw it

all away...abandon all that she has...for a

few moments of passion...any advice

that you could give her?

 

Roger stands up straight, turns back around and smiles.

 

ROGER (SMILING)

I'd tell her...to eat her green vegetables...

and do her fuckin' pilates...cause the

next time around...we're gonna open up

fault lines...move mountains...and shake

the pillars of heaven...

 

They stand for a moment smiling in contemplation.  He turns.

 

JULIE

That was a nice dance, wasn't it?

 

Roger nods.

 

JULIE (SMILING) (CONT'D)

Roger.

(pause)

Get rid of the jean jacket...and don't you

dare put that hat back on...

 

Roger smiles and puts his hat back on, this time the right way around.  He leaves.

 

CUT TO:

 

EXT. TREVOR'S DRIVEWAY - LATE AFTERNOON

 

Roger walks up the wet driveway, now clear of snow, melted by a change in temperature.  He hears music playing in the living room and heads around back to use the back entrance.

 

CUT TO:

 

INT. TREVOR'S DINING ROOM - DUSK

 

Trevor, Tregunna and Bugsy sit waiting for Smyth to come back to the Monopoly game.  He enters smiling with phone in hand.

 

SMYTH (SMILING)

I did it!  I just got him fired.  I talked to

his boss and he's giving him the axe.

 

TREGUNNA

You asshole!  You didn't even know him! 

You don't even eat there!

 

SMYTH (SMILING)

Yup, but I said I was gonna do it and I did

it.

 

TREVOR (NERVOUS)

Fine!  You did it!  Can we just play?

 

SMYTH (TO TREVOR)

I'm sick of this game.  I don't wanna play

anymore.

 

TREVOR (WORRIED)

You can't quit now!  We've been playing

for three hours!  I'm finally winning!

 

SMYTH (TO TREGUNNA)

Tregunna, I'll sell you all my properties,

all my houses and hotels for one dollar.

 

TREVOR

What?  You can't do that!

 

SMYTH (TO TREGUNNA)

Deal's on the table if you want it.

 

TREGUNNA (SMILING)

Sure.

 

TREVOR (IRATE)

Fuck you!  You can't do that!  I was

winning!  Fuck you both!

 

They laugh at him.  Trevor jumps out of his seat in anger.

 

TREVOR (POINTING TO DOOR)

Get out!  Get out of my house!

 

Smyth just laughs.

 

TREVOR (IRATE) (CONT'D)

Get out of my house!

 

Smyth smiles and gets up.

 

SMYTH (SMILING)

I was gonna get some food anyway.

 

Smyth heads for the door and almost steps on Eddie as he leaves.  Eddie looks up to see the door didn't close fully.

 

CUT TO:

 

EXT. TREVOR'S BACKYARD - DUSK

 

Roger stands watching his jean jacket hang from the clothesline.  He takes off his hat and hangs it on the shoulder.  He sets the jacket on fire by holding a lighter under some of the loose threads until they ignite.  He leaves.

 

CUT TO:

 

INT. TREVOR'S LIVING ROOM - DUSK

 

Trevor cleans up the Monopoly board in the dining room with an angry look on his face when the flaming jacket outside the window catches his eye.

 

TREVOR

What the hell is that?

 

Tregunna comes over to take a look.

TREGUNNA

Is that the Crazy Man's jacket?

 

The jacket falls into the snow.  The light of the flame draws attention to the burnt out shell of the snowblower which the snow has now melted away from.

 

TREVOR (SHOCKED)

What happened to my snowblower?

 

CUT TO:

 

EXT. TREVOR'S DRIVEWAY - DUSK

 

Roger walks up the driveway.  He hears a can rattle on the porch.  He looks over to see Eddie crawling across the porch.

 

ROGER (SMILES)

Good for you, Eddie.

 

CUT TO:

 

INT. TREVOR'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

 

The guys are sitting around watching music videos.

 

MORDEN

Who's that?  She's hot?

 

BUGSY (GIGGLING)

That's Hilary Duff, man.

 

MORDEN (SQUIRMING IN SEAT)

Umm...she's got a great ass.

 

There is a loud pounding on the door.  Tregunna gets up to get the door.  It's Steve the pizza guy and he's very angry.

 

STEVE THE PIZZA GUY (ANGRY)

What the fuck?

 

Tregunna shrugs.

 

STEVE THE PIZZA GUY (CONT'D)

What the fuck?  I know it was you guys!

 

TREGUNNA

What?

 

STEVE THE PIZZA GUY

You got me fired!  One of you fuckers got

me fired!

 

TREGUNNA (NODDING)

Oh, that was Smyth.  He ain't here.

 

Steve just stands there steaming mad.

 

TREGUNNA (CONT'D)

Sorry, man.  I tried to get him to

stop...but he's kind of an asshole.

 

Steve just shakes his head with no one there to vent to.

 

TREGUNNA (CONT'D)

You wanna come in and have a beer?

 

STEVE (BREATHING HEAVY)

Ugh...yeah...I guess so.

 

TREGUNNA (OFFERS HIS HAND)

Hey, I'm Chris.

 

MORDEN (SHOUTS OUT)

Tregunna!  Call him "Tregunna".

 

STEVE THE PIZZA GUY

Hey, I'm Steve.

 

Tregunna leads him in and points to Jamie who is passed out on the floor in his usual pose.

 

TREGUNNA

That's Jamie.  He's always sleeping...or

hiding from his wife.

 

He points to Bugsy who wears his perma-smile and giggles.

 

TREGUNNA (CONT'D)

That's Bugsy.  He's always stoned.

 

He points to Morden who is still leering at Hilary Duff.

 

TREGUNNA (CONT'D)

That's Morden.  He's gay, but doesn't

know it yet.

 

MORDEN

Hey, fuck off!

 

TREGUNNA

Trevor's upstairs.  He should be gay, but

isn't.

(points to Rick)

Oh, and that's Smelly, because he always

stinks...have a seat.

 

RICK

Ok, it's been a week now.  I think you can

stop calling me that.

 

TREGUNNA

Actually, Smith said specifically that I still

had to call you that.

(reaches into his bag)

Oh, yeah.  He had a little present for you. 

I helped him wrap it.

 

Tregunna hands Rick a small package wrapped with a used hamburger wrapper and an elastic.  Rick opens it to reveal a bar of soap.  They all start laughing.

 

RICK (SARCASTICALLY)

Ha, ha.  Very funny.

 

Tregunna turns to Steve.

 

TREGUNNA (SMILING)

So, Steve.  Have you ever heard of the

Bavarian Purity Act of 1516?

 

Tregunna pulls a weird looking German beer out of a case at his feet and hands it to Steve.  He gets one for himself.

 

CUT TO:

 

INT. SHOPPING MALL (FOOD COURT) - NIGHT

 

Roger sits at a table with University Application forms spread across the table.  He takes a swig from his bottled water and takes the plastic lid off his salad bowl.  Eddie sits on the table amongst the papers.  Roger takes a few leaves of lettuce and sprinkles them on the table in front of him.  Eddie starts to eat as Roger reads.

 

CUT TO:

 

On BLACK SCREEN the words appear:

 

"We'll know for the first time, if we're evil or divine, we're the last in line.”9

 - THE LAST IN LINE (Ronnie James Dio)

 

The words FADE.

 

CLOSING CREDITS intercut with:

 

In Trevor's bedroom, Tregunna and Steve laugh and giggle drunkenly.  Trevor is passed out in his bed.  Steve draws a penis in black marker on his forehead.  Tregunna eggs him on.

 

FADE OUT:

 

THE END

 

Notes

 

1 Lyrics quoted from the song THE LAST IN LINE by the band Dio (1984).  Written by Vivian Campbell, Jimmy Bain and Ronnie James Dio.

2 Lyrics quoted from the song I KNOW WHAT I LIKE by the band Genesis (1973).  Written by Peter Gabriel, Steve Hackett, Mike Rutherford, Tony Banks and Phil Collins.

3 Lyrics quoted from the song YOU WON’T CHANGE ME by the band Black Sabbath (1976).  Written by Tony Iommi, Geezer Butler, Ozzy Osbourne and Bill Ward.

4 Lyrics quoted from the song BARK AT THE MOON by Ozzy Osbourne (1983).  Written by Ozzy Osbourne, Jake E. Lee and Bob Daisley.

5 Lyrics quoted from the song KILLED BY DEATH by the band Motorhead (1984).  Written by Lemmy Kilmister, Phil Campbell, Wurzel and Pete Gill.

6 Lyrics quoted from the song STARGAZER by the band Rainbow (1976).  Written by Ronnie James Dio and Ritchie Blackmore.

7 Lyrics quoted from the song BLACKOUT by the band The Scorpions (1982).  Written by Rudolf Schenker, Klaus Meine, Herman Rarebell and Sonja Kittelsen.

8 Lyrics quoted from the song RUN OF THE MILL by the band Judas Priest (1974).  Written by Rob Halford, K.K. Downing and Glen Tipton.

9 Lyrics quoted from the song THE LAST IN LINE by the band Dio (1984).  Written by Vivian Campbell, Jimmy Bain and Ronnie James Dio.


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