Skids (Screenplay) Part 3

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Following the exploits of a group of friends who live small lives and have even smaller ambitions, "Skids" is a window into their lives as they carry on into their early twenties, while still living very much like teenagers. Will any of them escape this downward spiral into mediocrity? And more importantly, do any of them want to? When drinking, partying and acting like a bunch of fools are your chief concerns in life is there really any reason to change? - available on Amazon - 14 parts in total

Submitted: November 11, 2014

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Submitted: November 11, 2014

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TREGUNNA (LAUGHING)

The worst thing is...then he had to walk

all the way back home...carrying all that

shit...

 

SMYTH (TO TREVOR)

Dumb ass! Fuck her anyway, Trev.  She

was ugly.

 

Trevor frowns.

 

MORDEN

Hey.  That's not cool.

 

SMYTH

She was!  She looked like a fuckin'

Gremlin!

 

They all laugh knowing it's true.  Trevor gets up and starts walking up the stairs.

 

SMYTH (SMILING) (CONT'D)

Maybe next time you can find a girl you

can feed after midnight.

 

BUGSY (GIGGLING)

Yeah, man.  Don't get her wet, man. 

Cause Gremlins multiply.

 

They all laugh as Trevor heads into his room upstairs.

 

MORDEN

I feel sorry for him.  That's gotta be hard.

If Jewel ever did that to me this is all I'd

be doing...

 

Morden makes a motion like he's pouring a beer into his mouth.

 

SMYTH (LAUGHING)

What?  Sucking cock?

 

MORDEN

No!  Drinking beers!

 

SMYTH

You fucking homo!

 

TREGUNNA

Hey!  What happened to the tunes, man? 

Crank it up!  Wee-hoo!

 

CUT TO:

 

INT. TREVOR'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

 

Trevor's room is adorned with posters of comic book heroes, toys and other sci-fi memorabilia.  He sits on his bed with an acoustic guitar in his lap.  He pulls out his "Guitar for Dummies" book.  On the cover the word "Dummies" has been crossed out and the word "Retards" has been written overtop of it.  Trevor notices it and shakes his head.

 

TREVOR (MUMBLING)

Assholes.

 

He opens it to one of the earliest chapters and starts trying to play a simple practice session, but messes up.  The stereo kicks in downstairs drowning out his playing with some loud heavy metal.  Trevor keeps trying.

 

CUT TO:

 

INT. TREVOR'S DINING ROOM - NIGHT

 

The guys sit around the table playing Monopoly.  The doorbell rings but nobody hears it because of the music.

 

BUGSY

Ah, man.  You shoulda been at Cheech's

last weekend.  We did a whole night of

Krokus.

 

TREGUNNA (LAUGHING)

Krokus!  The greatest band from

Switzerland ever.

 

BUGSY (SERIOUS)

Oh yeah, man.  We just smoked some

weed and started with "Metal

Rendezvous" and played every album up

to like "Alive and Screaming" or

something.  By then we were too stoned

to get up and we just turned on the

radio.

 

There is a hard angry pounding on the door.

 

MORDEN

Hey, Rog.  Your pizza's here.

 

Roger jumps up and heads into the other room.

 

BUGSY

Yeah, man.  We did Saxon once too.

 

TREGUNNA

Saxon!  Hey, we should do a Saxon night

tomorrow at my place!

 

MORDEN

Your place?

 

TREGUNNA

Yeah, the Towel Man's taking Granny to

my Nana's for a few days.

 

MORDEN

Your Nana's?  I thought Granny was your

grandmother.

 

TREGUNNA (SMILES)

No.  She's my mom.  I just call her

"Granny" cause she's old and hates it.

 

MORDEN

But you're still coming to my shooter

party Friday aren't you?

 

TREGUNNA

Yeah.

 

SMYTH

Shooter party?  How come this is the

first I've heard of this?

 

MORDEN (SMILES)

Cause you're not invited.

 

SMYTH

Fuck you.  I'm coming anyway.

 

MORDEN

Jewel doesn't want you there.

 

SMYTH

Why?

 

MORDEN

Because you called her mom a "fat

bitch" at our last party.

 

SMYTH

Oh yeah.

 

Laughter.

 

BUGSY

Tomorrow night, eh?  Cool.  Oh, but we

can't do Saxon, man.  I traded away all

my Saxon CD's to Tully for a brick of

hash.

 

SMYTH (LAUGHING)

Traded away...I love how all you drug

guys are still using the barter system.

 

Roger returns with a half-opened pizza box in his hands.

 

ROGER

That fucking idiot!

 

BUGSY

Eh, but we can do Motorhead though.  I

still got my Motorhead.

 

SMYTH

I can't take a whole night of Lemmy's

voice, man.  I hate fuckin' Motorhead.

 

ROGER (TO HIMSELF)

How fucking retarded can he be?

 

BUGSY

Hey man, where's the garlic bread?

 

TREGUNNA (TO ROGER)

What's the problem?

 

ROGER

That fucking idiot from the Pizza Shack

fucked up my order again.  He gave me

mushrooms.

 

TREGUNNA

Oh, just pick 'em off, you pansy!

 

ROGER

No...I mean...that's all he gave me... 

there's no meat...no nothing...just fuckin'

mushrooms!

 

Smyth grabs the pizza box from Roger and pulls out a slice.

 

SMYTH

Hey, I like mushrooms.

 

TREGUNNA

Call 'em back, man.

 

ROGER

Oh, forget it.

 

TREGUNNA

Have a beer and relax.  You're way too

tense.

 

ROGER

Nah, I'm just gonna go out and finish the

shoveling.

 

Roger goes to take another look at the snow coming down.

 

SMYTH (WITH MOUTH FULL)

I tell you what, Rog.  I'm gonna get that

dickhead fired for you.  Bring me the

phone.

 

Roger goes outside.  Smyth drops the pizza box in the middle of the Monopoly board and gets up to get the phone.

 

TREGUNNA (ANNOYED)

Hey, are we playing here or what?

 

Looking for the phone, Smyth sees Eddie crawling on the floor towards the closing door that Roger just walked through.

 

SMYTH (LAUGHS)

Hey, guys!  Eddie's makin' a run for it!

 

TREGUNNA (LAUGHING)

Hey, get him!  Don't let that little bastard

get away!

 

Smyth comes back into the room with the phone in one hand and Eddie in the other.  He sits Eddie on top of the pizza box.

 

SMYTH (TO EDDIE)

Here, do something useful will ya?

 

Smyth takes a couple elastics from the Monopoly box and straps the ashtray to Eddie's back.

 

TREGUNNA

Alright, get this pizza box out of here.

 

Smyth picks up the phone and hits the redial.

 

TREGUNNA (CONFUSED)

Who are you calling?

 

SMYTH

The pizza place.

 

TREGUNNA

You don't even know the guy!

 

SMYTH (SMILES)

So?

 

TREGUNNA (LOOKING DOWN)

Who's turn is it?

 

MORDEN

Hey, we should make a drinking game

out of this.

 

TREGUNNA

Drinking game?  Fuckin' Chief Two Beers

wants to make a drinking game out of it.

 

MORDEN

What?

 

SMYTH (TO MORDEN)

You know you can only handle two beers

and then you're passed out like a twelve

year old in Tregunna's bed.

 

TREGUNNA (LAUGHING)

Hey...thirteen at least.

 

Smyth's call goes through.  He goes in the other room to talk.

 

BUGSY

Hey, man.  Tell him he forgot the fuckin'

garlic bread.

 

FADE OUT:

 

On BLACK SCREEN the word appears:

 

"Wednesday"

 

The word FADES and a new quote appears:

 

"Howling in shadows, living in a lunar spell, he finds his Heaven, spewing from the mouth of Hell.”4- BARK AT THE MOON (Ozzy Osbourne)

 

INT. TREVOR'S LIVING ROOM – MORNING

 

Morden is passed out on the floor.  Eddie walks by him looking for food.  Smyth is passed out on the couch, Tregunna in the chair and Bugsy is sitting awake on the floor rifling through Trevor's CD's.  He finds all kinds of eighties pop like B52's and Erasure before he comes across Tregunna's bag.  He pulls out Accept's Balls To The Wall and puts the CD in the tray.  He plugs in the headphones and presses play on the first song. Bugsy starts rocking out to the music wearing the headphones and playing air-guitar.  He really gets into it, banging his head and making the devil sign with his fingers.  Bugsy starts air-guitaring the solo, but when it peaks he gets way too into it and accidentally yanks the headphone cord from the jack.  The music comes blasting through the speakers at full volume waking everybody up.

 

SMYTH (SHOUTING)

What the fuck?

 

Bugsy rushes to the stereo to turn down the volume.

 

TREGUNNA

Bugsy, you fuckin' idiot!

 

Morden throws a pillow.  Tregunna throws the pizza box.  Smyth throws a folding chair.

 

BUGSY (TO SMYTH)

Hey, man!

 

CUT TO:

 

INT. TREGUNNA'S BASEMENT APARTMENT - DAY

 

Tregunna leads Smyth down the stairs both carrying empty beer cases in their hands.

 

SMYTH

How come all my friends live in

basements?

 

They walk in and Smyth notices that the long eight foot counter separating the kitchen from the sitting area is covered with empty beer bottles.

 

SMYTH (CONT'D)

Holy fuck, Tregunna.  Clean up much?

 

TREGUNNA

That's my collection.  And I got one more

to add today.

 

He pulls one of the bottles from the case and cleans it.

 

SMYTH

These are all different?

 

TREGUNNA

You see what you're missing by drinking

rum and coke all the time?

 

He waves his hand in front of them like a girl on a game show.

 

TREGUNNA (SMILING) (CONT'D)

It's true, all this could be yours.

 

SMYTH

All this and chronic diarrhea too.

(holds up the case)

Where do you want me to put this?

 

TREGUNNA

Right in there, man.

 

Smyth opens the closet to find stacks upon stacks of empties.

 

SMYTH

Holy fuck!

 

TREGUNNA (LAUGHING)

Yeah, I need a friend with a car.

 

SMYTH

Or a fuckin' stint in rehab!

 

TREGUNNA

The Towel Man said he'd take 'em back

for me next week.

 

Suddenly there comes a pounding from upstairs.  Tregunna gets a confused look on his face and goes to check it out.

CUT TO:

 

INT. TREGUNNA'S LIVING ROOM - DAY

 

Tregunna enters to find Granny, his elderly mother hunched over with a hammer in her hand banging the side of an old-fashioned wood-encased floor model television.

 

TREGUNNA (LAUGHING)

What the hell ya doin', Granny?

 

GRANNY (FRUSTRATED)

Will you stop calling me that?  The TV's

on the frits again.

 

The TV is all static and the sound cuts in and out.  Granny starts hitting it again while Tregunna just laughs.

 

CUT TO:

 

INT. ROGER'S BASEMENT APARTMENT - DAY

 

Roger wakes up with a bad taste in his mouth.  It is darker than the previous day.  Confused for a moment, he looks over to see the clock reads "1:15".  He looks up at the window and sees there is only a thin crack of sunlight coming through due to the fact that the snow has filled it in.

ROGER (TO HIMSELF)

Fuck me.

 

CUT TO:

 


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