Suggested Listening: Forever by Rascal Flatts (Link:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xh-y1w8eNwU&feature=related)
The night air was timid and cool for a June night and the breeze from earlier that day seemed to have gone to sleep. The lake was a mirror for the moon and the water was sleeping, the glistening surface reflecting it’s dreams.
Brandon grabbed Katie’s hand and she laughed as he pulled her unexpectedly down with him onto the grass. They lay side by side looking at the stars that showed the world infinity.
He silently took hold of her small hand before turning his head to gaze at her. Her hazel eyes were reading the night sky while the rest of her body was restful. Her lips were turned up just slightly and her dark hair was spread out on the blanket that he had laid out for them.
Katie turned her head to find Brandon’s eyes level with hers. He was smiling at her and seemed to be enjoying the simplicity of the moment.
“What?” she asked although not minding that he was watching her. He always watched her, usually when he thought she wouldn’t notice.
“Nothing, I just love you so much.” She smiled and kissed him on the cheek.
“I love you too” she said with complete conviction.
She sat up on the blanket and wrapped her arms around her knees that she had pulled close to her body. He watched her do this but said nothing.
“How long is forever?”
“As long as you let it be” he replied.
“I want to be with you forever.” She said as an after thought. At the tender age of eighteen everyone (especially her parents) believed that she was being irrational. That she could not possibly decide who she wants to be with for the rest of her life this soon. But she knew otherwise. Every time she saw him her heart was filled with love and passion. He always knew what to say and he made her feel completely safe. She knew he would never hurt her.
That he would never leave her.
“What are you thinking about?” Brandon said, interrupting her thoughts.
“Us.” she tilted her head so that she could see him better.
He didn’t respond but instead looked into the sky. He had his own thoughts running wildly around in his mind. In front of him sat the girl that held his heart. He loved her so much and wanted nothing more to be with her.
But what was forever anyways? He’d read Shakespeare’s plays, and heard the term used loosely on the T.V. and tossed around in school, but he wondered if two people could possibly be so in love, have a bond so strong, that they would always want to be together, to never be separated. He knew that that was how he felt about Katie, like the only way he could be happy was if she was with him. Even when they fought or had disagreements, and maybe didn’t talk for awhile, they still found their way back together.
Like it was meant to be.
Forever with Katie.
He smiled at the thought. He had never felt something so strongly….he knew that he was going to spend forever with Katie. Nothing could keep them apart.
He walked her home that night planning to present her with the ring of eternity very soon. His mother had kept his grandmother’s ring after she passed away and had given it to him to use when he was ready.
It was simple and elegant with a silver band with a single diamond protruding from it’s center.
Soon he thought.
Forever will come soon.
They had been engaged for three months when in happened.
“Brandon’s dead, sweetheart” her mother said trying to make the words seem soothing.
Katie was lying in a hospital bed tied up in IV’s and trying to ignore the constant beeping and humming of the various machines. She wouldn’t believe what her mother was saying it wasn’t true.
“No he’s not.” She said in a pitifully frail voice.
“You’re lucky your alive, the car accident nearly killed both of you.”
“Brandon’s not dead” is all she would say.
All she could say.
Dead is such a short word for such a tragic thing. Dead said no more life, no more hope, no more dreams. No more love or anything else. Dead means gone forever.
Instead of together Forever.
“He did wake up out of a coma for about an hour or so, he had just enough strength to write this” her mother handed her an envelope with her name on it, “before his heart gave out and he passed away- his injuries were to severe and they were surprised that he even had enough strength to write out that. There was no way to save him, they did everything they could.”
“He’s fine, Brandon’s not dead” this time it was merely a whisper. Her hands shook and a single tear broke through. “Tell me it’s not true.”
Cathleen watched her daughter completely break down. She too had had her heart broken once, but then it was temporary, death was permanent. She was at lost for words, as Katie’s body shook with violent sobs and tragic tears that rolled down her face.
“Oh, sweetie, sweetheart…shhhh…shhhh…calm down….your fine.”
It wasn’t until after the funeral three days later that Katie opened the letter. Brandon’s sloppy scrawl covered it and she could tell that he was weak when he wrote it. She wouldn’t let herself cry.
I love you Katie. At this moment all I’m thinking of is you and the one thing I want you to know more than anything else is that I love you. That will never change. I wanted forever with you, I wanted to wake up every morning and be able to see your sleeping form, I wanted to have a family with you. I wanted to come home every day to you. It seems that death doesn’t care what I wanted, and is now taking me away. Katie, find your own forever. Find someone that will love you unconditionally, someone that will protect you when you're scared and someone that will comfort you're when your sad. That’s what I want for you. Don’t spend your life in all the “could have been’s.” You deserve more than that. I will always love you. Always. Nothing will take that away from us. That ring I gave you symbolized us together forever, now it let it mean our love forever, even though you won’t be able to see me, I really hope that I will be able to be with you.
I love you.
She hadn’t been able to hold the tears in long after the first sentence. She wanted so badly for this just to be an awful nightmare. She was waiting to wake up and forget about this. She didn’t understand the whys or the hows and she wished more than anything that she could just die herself. What was the point in life anymore?
She walked around the outline of the lake where Brandon and her had spent many of there evenings. She didn’t know why she tortured herself like this but somehow she couldn’t stop herself. The stars that they once gazed at together now seemed like constant reminders of what would never be. The lake that they had swam in, sat by, and talked by was now just a symbol for what would never happen again.
She left the clearing than.
It was snowing outside and she was so caught up in the pain that she couldn’t control where she was walking….
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