Woman Decides Against Making New Year's Resolutions

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Religion and Spirituality  |  House: Christian Writers
A woman decides she will no longer make resolutions for the new year.

Submitted: January 06, 2016

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Submitted: January 06, 2016



 By Greg Miller © 2016

For a couple of decades, Cassandra had developed a habit of listing several resolutions she wanted to keep during the brand new year.


“My first resolution for 2016 is to eradicate all my bad habits,” she told her husband Charles. “Will you do a big favor for me and help me list all my bad habits?”


“I would be happy to do that for you honey, but I can’t think of a single bad habit that you have.  You are wonderful in every way.”


“Okay, Charles. I’ll give you an example. I prepare breakfast for you every morning, right?”


“Yes, you do.”


“You always ask me to fix blueberry pancakes, right?”


“Yes, I do.”


“And what do I always do?”


“You fix them for me.”


“But I always get distracted watching my favorite morning television news broadcast, right? And I always add only one-half cup of blueberries instead of the full cup you want, right?”


“That’s right, but it’s no big deal. I make my own share of mistakes.”


Cassandra was displeased with Charles not holding her accountable for what she considered major inadequacies in her behavior. “But we’re not talking about your mistakes,” she said. “We’re talking about mine.”


“To me, those are very minor infractions in our relationship. I don’t forgive you for them, because you have done nothing for me to have to forgive.”


Cassandra was determined to continue the conversation about breakfast. “You always drink a full glass of orange juice with your pancakes, right?”




“But I only pour a half glass, and you have to pour more into the glass yourself.”


“That’s okay. I’m a big boy, and I can do that with no problem at all.”


“After breakfast, we always drive to the local bakery for fresh donuts, right?”




“We both order two pumpkin donuts, and I only eat one of mine. You eat both of yours, then you eat my second donut because you feel bad that I wasn’t able to eat them both, right?”


“Right, but it’s no big deal. We can start taking your second donut back home for our granddaughter, Chloe, who eats dinner with us every evening.”


“Yeah,” Cassandra smiled. “Chloe really loves those pumpkin donuts.”


Cassandra temporarily forgot that she and Charles were talking about her New Year’s resolutions. “Chloe is the world’s most beautiful granddaughter,” she grinned.


“She looks a lot like her grandmother,” Charles boasted.


Suddenly, Cassandra once again focused briefly on her decisions for 2016. “I’m not going to make New Year’s resolutions any more,” she stated. “I’m going to make New Year’s Goal Solutions instead!”



To contact the writer of this column about speaking engagements, including Christian Comedy Fundraising Outreaches, Christian Creativity Seminars and/or puppet ministry, please email raysofson@gmail.com or kidcool4jesus@yahoo.com.

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