Eternal Escape

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic


"I died that day"

she said

first a collison of emotions

then nothing


sucked up into a vortex

of darkness

never to be found again

it split her in two

evil against greater evil

until one day

she just shriveled up

and blew away

an everlasting cycle of despair

in which she was able to escape

Submitted: June 15, 2010

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Add Your Comments:



Seems like you're concentrating more on getting your feelings down, rather than worrying about form and structure. Overall this can be a good thing. You might like e. e. cummings, Among my favorites are 'anyone lived in a pretty how town' and 'as freedom is a breakfastfood'.

Thu, June 24th, 2010 7:38pm


Actually, this wasn't about my feelings. I just tend to write things that come to me whether I feel them or not and you're right I don't pay attention to form or anything. It just popped into my head so I wrote it down but thanks and I'll be sure to check those out!! =]

Fri, June 25th, 2010 1:10am

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