Haiku #1 Afterbite

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Haiku #1

 

Between biting me

Your ugly inside watching
I never realise
 
My precious last love
Leaves desperate boy dancing lame
Charm slips under fantasy
 
Brother, honestly -
Fire dancing under moonlight
Precious Ritual
 


Submitted: February 10, 2014

© Copyright 2022 KingOfMisery. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Bert Broomberg

Nice piece of writing, but they are three haiku rolled into one, so technically speaking, this can't be called a haiku. Love to read your next poem.

Mon, February 10th, 2014 11:08pm

Author
Reply

I prefer to approach poems in a post modern sense, as a student of Japanese I know that there are famous Haiku specialists who did not believe in physical line breaks, preferring metaphorical ones. I find that the omission of a visual line break signifies panic, a lack of structure and unease

Mon, February 10th, 2014 4:21pm

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