AIR

My breath was beginning to time perfectly with my rapidly beating heart. Could i actually do this? I looked out into the audience from my safe, hiding spot behind the red, velvet curtains. Zombie eyes were all the crowd had. They stared straight ahead, not caring about who or where. Typical! Well if i don't go then Billy will certainly be mad. No, not just mad but, insanely furious! That's how i saw him as when he was mad. But, zombie eyes didn't care.

"You will go now and do a good job."

I didn't have to turn around to face the sudden commentor. It was Billy, waiting for me to go out there and perform his "magic".

"I....I know....It's just i feel a little nervous you know...everyone usually does."

"Well you better not flake out on me this time! or else!"

I gulped a deep breath and sucked back in a quick refill. Last time Billy told me to go onstage he said that i sang too low or said your solo was so low that i couldn't hear you. After his corny little joke he kicked me into my room and slammed the door behind him. That's all i wish to tell you because the rest is too hard to relive.

"Okay Billy, i will go and sing for your sake and will do i good job."

Dang! now i sounded like a zombie. I walked onto the cold stage but, the blinding lights warmed me up quickly. Too quickly and i began to feel beads of sweat on my brow like diamonds in the sun.

"Sing the song Autumn...."

I obeyed Billy and sang his newest composition, "Air". I sang it my best and the zombie eyes filled with tears. Some flowed and some showed that somewhere deep inside it had changed them. I bowed and exited as the roaring thunder of applause followed.

"You did okay this time, now go home."

I was hurt that Billy did not bask in my glory as i did.I also could not believe that i actually still loved him but, why? Was it because of the wonderous way i sang when i was around him? Or simplily beacuse he coached me and wrote the particular song? I didn't know. Would i ever? For know i was too busy being pleased with myself and the fact that Billy had not laid a finger on me tonight. Thank you Billy. The next day after my regular classes at the academy, Billy waited my arrival at the music room. He sat at the piano pressing his slender fingers gently onto the old and worn keys. I rushed in.

"You are late."

I put my things down and sighed heavily

"Yes Billy, i know."

Billy slammed down hard onto the keys and growled

"It better not ever happen again!"

I gasped but, i stared into his eyes now. They were hard and cold. Yet, a faint cry of love in the deep blue remand.

"I wish you only knew" I whispered to myself

"What was that?"

"Nothing Billy i was just being stupid just play the song."

"Finally."

While Billy played his selection i gazed around the room. I used to dream of coming to this school, to this room. I wanted to sing and become famous. But, i was being held back by a loving force. Somehow it was loving. That once dream sometimes became a nightmare.

'That is so beautiful, Billy."

Billy smiled that forgotten and forbidden smile. The gleam in his eyes was dazziling. He was pleased with himself.

"I love you too." Billy sang the last few notes and they struck my heart instantly. Did he really?