vulnerable

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
what happens to addicts?

Submitted: March 23, 2016

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Submitted: March 23, 2016

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Dangerous.

I took some drugs: MDMA ecstasy, methamphetamine, crack, 
my teeth are still white.

There are so many of em.

Devils. Can’t stop them, I am chained by demons: Sex, drugs, money, and cereal.
Walking and breathing, simple living, is near impossible, I place the bowl with shaky fingers, pour the cereal, and look for the milk in the refrigerator; The refrigerator is like a guardian blowing air attacks my frail body; disgusting.
All my senses dull out, last night, the air as cool, and the wind was perfect, it comes with a heavy price. Today my eyes register all as gray, and everything hurts, the glass bowl cries and the kitchen table screams, my lips are nervous, the demons in my spine, demons between my ears, stripped me to only nerves. I have no skin, and no protection.
It hurts.
My foot is hard and stiff. Im pretty damn scared. Cereal, cereal, find the cereal.
The bowls 3 inches in front of my face but its scary far away.
Chewing and cozy as sand and glass. Cant be sitting on the toilet for 3 hours tonight, so I meticulously and mechanically chew. A zombie. Everything in me disappears. zapped into one ecstatic night. My breath gets deepers, and I am sucked into the feeling. Everything feels so good, the sweat. Foreplay.
Im running away from this moment.

I wonder if it was all worth it.


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