My Elusive Dream: Conclusion

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Gay and Lesbian  |  House: Booksie Classic
hate me, if it is in your course of nature to do so.........

Submitted: July 11, 2012

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Submitted: July 11, 2012



Well, I had mentioned before that time would finally bring everything to a final resolution.   And so it was in this case.

I read somewhere that having to wait for anything builds patience.  And if the good book says so, then I know it to be true.  But another observation also, in my case rejection after rejection has managed to dull my senses somewhat.

I have heard that, if you fall off a horse, that you should get right back on it, however, if I were ever to fall off a horse, I would be thankful and leave it at that.  However, being rejected is a totally different matter.  A broken bone, as opposed to a broken heart.   The feeling of wanting is still very much alive.  But I have learned one thing in my almost 70 years, and that is, that I do not have precious time on my side to mourn for any length of time.  I am forced to move on.  When I was young I would mourn for months on in because that is what my inner being felt.  

Naturally, I am disappointed and hurt.  However, that  will get me nowhere.  I must say though, that he rejected me in the highest of standards, never made me feel beneath being human, and never was rude or insensitive to me, or my plight.  I am even fonder of him.  But time heals all wounds.  And so yet another one gets away.  But this I know, that for as long as the almighty shall tolerate me, I'll be searching for that elusive dream of mine.  Talking about beating a dead horse.  But you see, I have no other choice left to me, that co-exists with "my course in nature".  This is what I know it to be, these almost 70 years.  

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