Aridicai's Lover (Seven Deadly sins contest)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Meet Elias a man whose life is not so perfect, though he is forced to live life as we all do. As we all know life is a Bitch. However he soon meets Aridicai and his life is changed forever, perhaps that is an effect of love.

Submitted: April 24, 2016

A A A | A A A

Submitted: April 24, 2016



“Elias, it’s not that they hate you” the proclamation of a younger brother’s words bred only the dawning of the thought and it’s not that you’re an ass.  Before he gave his answer in kind to the prior said remark by his brother.

“Then who’s going to pay these bills bro”. Within him he could only muster an outwardly look of a somber expression upon his face as his words fell out as the words of a man struggling comprehend reality before him. “I don’t have any money” he could not allow the wrath of his eternal soul to bring forth its face through his being. He would not dawn the mantle of the erratic man, no he would not give his family the satisfaction of being the wretch that they so wanted to make the world believe that he was. He was not the vile one no he was not! He looked to his youngest brother, this tribute to the corporate world, dressed in a freshly fitted three-piece suit, sun glasses on his face, clean black leather shoes, tie meticulously straitened, white male, blonde hair, looks that made it a surprise that he had not gotten a girl pregnant at 15 when they looked into the midst of his azure iris.

“Dude they filled your bank account man. 6000, that is like a chunk of their life savings, what did you do with it?” he looked around the small apartment building, small, empty, save for a television set in the living room in front of a couch that doubled as a bed for him on his drunken nights alone. Elias sat up, stroking the fuzz that had grown on his face just a week after his last hair-cut. His brother sat directly before him on the floor just in front of the couch. The floor was hard tile and stained in the filth of aged muddy rain waters from the bottoms of Elias’s feet and spilled beer.

“This place man” Elias answered scanning the room,

“It’s a studio apartment, it cost like 500 a month, utilities are probably cheap seeing as its you. You had more than enough time to get a job bro”.  They sat watching one another as Elias allowed the words to register within his mind, within him wrath had not been so weak as to let a wall of control daunt its advance. He looked to his brother and allowed anger to take hold.

“You think it's that easy?” he growled. “You think I can just up and walk into some building and ask to be hired on the spot? Fuck off Chris”.

“Bro I’m just trying to help you out” Chris kept his composure as he spoke to his enraged brother. “Look at me, this is your younger brother here, your brother I’m not trying to piss you off or anything, just trying to help you before you run out money and end up on the streets”.

“I got this man” Elias’s voice grated in his throat, he hadn’t yelled no he would never allow that to happen, he simply growled preceding a sigh that ended the conversation and signaled a silence that ushered Chris out the door.

Within the arms of solitude now silence became a close companion to Elias once again as it had done so many times before. He watched as the shadows danced in the darkness in the stage lights of passing cars beneath the gaze of the moons assuring eye. Elias lay there in the sofa looking up at the ceiling fan which had stopped working about a month before the present day. He had not told Chris but his power had been shut off and he did not turn it on, he could not afford it. Of the 6000 that was in his bank account there was about 3000 or 4000 left, give or take a few hundred dollars. He was sure to keep his water usage to a minimum and the power plus the rent was blowing through his money too fast each month. At the least he was spending about a thousand dollars on utilities and rent alone, and then there was his food expenses that ruined any plans he had of keep a bit of change. He curled up on the couch and closed his eyes, a sigh fell from his lips and he hugged himself tightly to block out the thoughts of his family giving up on him. “I hate you” he sighed, his heart throbbing with the sentiment in this moment. “I fucking hate all of you. I’m your son”. He closed his eyes and allowed sleep to take a hold of him and in the midst of his sorrow he dreamt only melancholy dreams until the sun finally came back to wake him.

The following morning, he lay there on the couch for just a few hours after waking. The sounds of the puppets of the Governments plan of control all getting in their cars and going to work just to make barely enough money to survive. He scoffed at them internally and curled up on his couch. He would not be them, he would not be just another lamb to be herded by the rich pricks and politics of the world, no he would make his own way, he would be a transcended kind of man. Fuck this world and society he was better than the corporate cogs and office workers struggling just to survive, no he would thrive. He closed his eyes once again and sleep took hold as he dreamt of being a rich a man buried beneath his money, his brother begging him for a piece of his wealth yet he would not give him any, he broke the cogs that moved a body of society and placed them within himself and then he awoke to the moon staring at him from high above his apartment, its platinum shine trailing into his window. He lay there once again for just another hour before standing to his feet and making his way to the bathroom. He looked himself in the face through the mirror. He hadn’t shaved in a week since his razor broke and he could not afford a haircut right now. His face was in the beginning stages of a full grown beard and his hair was beginning to grow and hang into his eyes. He was a skinny man, his ribs pressed hard beneath his skin and his arms looked as if they would break with the gentlest touch. He got his tooth brush and began to brush his teeth. Darkness loomed here in this room more fiercely than the other one in this apartment. The bathroom had no windows and so it was hidden from the sun’s rays, whether that be reflected from the moon or from the stars own body. He spit into the sink and rinsed his mouth out, the water tasted metallic and he was sure it was contaminated, but he didn’t care, if he died he would die and then the world could continue without him, and he would decay, ultimately continuing without it. He went to the toilet and pulled his pants down sitting and relaxing as he let shit fall from his body. He had to push harder than usual lately, he was sure that was because he wasn’t eating right, Ramen noodles and beer probably were not the healthiest choices for a human to eat. After he was finished he wiped, flushed, pulled his pants back on and went back to the couch, he did not feel like eating that night, he scratched his butt. It still itched so he probably did not wipe very well he thought but he didn’t care he just lay back on the couch and as he fell back to sleep he remembered that he had not washed his hands.

Eventually time passed in a similar manner that the prior two days had passed similarly and Elias’s rent and utilities would soon be due. He payed them with his debit card, a complete total sum of about 725 when added all together. He could survive just a few more months like this but looking forward into the future he knew that this situation was not the best for him to be in. If he continued on like this, he would eventually end up on the streets and he did not want that to happen. He decided to head down to the local library and type up a Resume’; he needed a job. He made his way to the bathroom and took a shower. Warmed up a cup of ramen and ate then he got dressed and made his way out the door.

The sun was stifling to his eye, having spent so many days without a source of light what so ever. However, he thought the day was beautiful all the same. The sun painted the city in a golden wash that radiated wonderfully with the passing cars and the mood of the smiling faces that walked through the streets same as himself. The girls in short skirts and short shorts and the boys with no shirts on holding their hands. Everyone dawned in sunglasses and baseball caps. He loved the city it was so friendly to the sight. The library was about a mile or two walk from where he lived and he was happy to get the exercise, he used to jog there every day a little while ago but he eventually just…. stopped. He let a smile grace his lips as he moved passed a group of girls all wearing bikini tops and short jean shorts. They were from the college nearby, he could tell; for some reason college girls all seemed to be…just attractive, like they were bread to just be sexy by God or something. He wanted to muster up a “Hi” or something but he was busy so he just left it alone and continued to walk onward toward his destination. They all probably had boyfriends anyway.

He eventually made it to the library and made his way in, it was surprisingly cold but he liked this as well. The chill added to the silent atmosphere of the building, how only the sounds of typing and paper rustling would speak out and resonate in this sacred place, humans were not permitted to let themselves known.  He sat at the nearest computer and used the computer, he signed in with his library cards number and he had 30 minutes to make his Resume’, he began to type it up and with his past work experience from college and high school he had two full pages. He was finished with about 12 minutes to spare. He sat there and then an idea dawned on him. There was a possibility that even with his new Resume’ he still would not have a job soon enough before his money ran out. He needed some way to lessen his expenses, he needed to pay less so that he could get his power turned back on. Then an epiphany struck him; a roommate, like back in college. He would post an ad on craigslist for a roommate. And he did, with his last 10 minutes he put up an add that was seen by hundred on the internet, within the span of about a week he had a hit that fit his criteria.

None cigarette smoker, clean, does not mind a one bed room apartment, wants to split the expenses evenly, good on making payments on time. Does not mind sleeping on the couch or blow up mattress if they have one.

Hi my name is Elias Schirmit and I am looking for a roommate that does not mind meeting the above criteria and will help me out until I get back on my feet. I would rather one who does respect the fact that this is a small apartment and does not have a lot of guest space. Thank you just message me back and we can exchange contact info and feel each other out a bit before officially meeting up at a public place.


Thank you.


Elias was sure that this was some type of prank, he had just posted that ad and he had already received a message of someone interested:

Hi :) I’m Aridicai and I was hoping that you might consider me for being your roommate, I do not mind one bedroom and I have no friends *Laughs Awkwardly* so no visitors if you want to talk just message me an okay and I’ll send you my phone number or something.


It came to him upon the wave that carried with it the effect of pause. That is to say he was worried. There was no way that anyone would so easily accept the provided criteria, specific as they were, so quickly. He was unsure of how to go forward; he was uneasy with the situation. He did not know which course of action he should take. He sat at the computer with 15 minutes left to use, he sat there and allowed the silence to provide him with an answer as to how to proceed with the provided predicament of which he had placed himself in. He pulled out his phone and began to scroll through it, he skimmed it, quickly sliding his finger across the screen until coming to his desired name of his little brother Chris. No! he would not falter! He could not ask that boy for advice! They looked down on him! All of them! He was sure that Chris would tell his parents and then with solemn heart and melancholy eyes they would shake their heads in disappointment and say “That boy” and look down on him like he was a bad guy. Fuck them! But… Elias needed advice, he needed someone who could tell him what he needed to do. He scrolled his finger down father until coming to the name of Theresa came into view. She was a good friend and someone whom Elias trusted above all others. He tapped his finger on her name and hit call then as the fatigued voice of a young girl came from the receiver he spoke and gave her the entire story following her disheartened: “Hey Eli” after his introduction.

Elias looked up to the sun that now watched him as he sat at the entrance to the library on a wooden bench. He breathed in the moist body of the coming breeze and relished the feel of its embrace on his skin. The girls from before passed by, they were now accompanied by an equally numbered group of college boys, the boys were shirtless wearing swimming bottoms…Perhaps they had gone to the pool. He decided to pay no more attention to them this time, he didn’t know them and did not want them to think he was watching them or anything. It dawned on him how it was so easy to find people you don’t know but so hard to find people that you do know. It was like there were so many people in the world but you never speak to anyone unless you are put in a situation where you have to. Imagine, so many beautiful woman, so many friendly men and yet you only speak to about six or seven people in the entire world, even in your own neighborhood. Humans have such a disgraceful community. But even that being the fact, all species have their anti-socials, look at tigers they’re the world’s greatest loners in a way, or even black panthers. Elias froze his thoughts wondering exactly why he was even thinking about that in the first place, then he heard the voice of a young girl speak his name. He turned his attention from his feet where he was currently looking and to the vision of a dainty little blonde before him. She had long hair that fell to her shoulders and stopped at her upper back. She was wearing a crop-top and a short skirt with flip flops that showed her pretty little feet, toe nails painted green. She was a pretty little girl, freckles speckled on her cheeks, dark green eyes and the pretties face that made her seem a bit younger than her age.

“Hey Eli” she said brushing her hair from around her neck, Elias scooted to the side and allowed her to sit. She sat beside him and crossed her legs one over the other. She looked out into the distance allowing the sounds of the mornings activity to speak for them. Elias looked to the beauty beside him who was currently studying the traffic jam coming from the interstate exit just beside the library. A small van that cut off a sports car in an attempt to get in the turning lane and was forced to stop at the light at a vertical angle stopping two different lanes until the light until the light turned green. She smiled and whispered “What a dick” under her breathe before turning to Elias and giving a toothless somber smile.

“So?” she said, her voice so soft, like a child’s.

“Want to get something to eat?” Elias started and she just snickered under her breathe.

“You paying?” she sighed.

“I can” Elias said and she just shrugged before the two of them were off to the nearest pizza place.  They sat there at a booth across from one another. The place was empty and quiet save for about two or three groups. The two of them ordered waters and a large pizza to share.

“How’s the job?” Elias began. Theresa looked up at him from taking a sip from her straw. She sneered and shrugged her shoulders to dismiss the prospect of her job entirely.

“Talk on phones, get cursed out for bullshit that’s not my fault and make 9.50 an hour to live off of every two weeks” she snickered and then as if the cynical joke in her mind had turned black she sighed. “I just want hope I get the job at that law-firm Chris interned at before”. They let silence come between them again before Theresa spoke.

“We’re hiring by the way, a bunch of our veteran guys got promoted and now we need more phone reps”.

Elias shook his head slowly being sure to let a pause precede the action in an attempt to make it seem as if he had even considered the possibility. Truth be told he could never actually do a job like that. Talking on the phone all day for 8 hours a day, getting cussed out on a regular basis. He hated that idea he was patient enough for that. “Sorry I’m not like you, I couldn’t do a job like that …. I’m more of a work with my hands type of guy”. Theresa let out a sigh once more before voicing her obvious skepticism for his reasons with an extended “Riiiigghhhttt” before sipping her water.

“You know me Terry” Elias said

“Why’d you call me out here so early?” Theresa was obviously annoyed, Elias had known her long enough to realize when she had had enough of talking to someone, she would get to the point so that she could walk away. Usually she would have left by now but seeing as it was Elias she would not, she almost always heard him out, if it was only to give a stern rejection to his ideals or advice. It’s a kind of brother sister connection that is built on a lifelong companionship and a year of a romantic relationship. They had the kind of intimacy that most do not hope to achieve with another person, one where their souls were near connected, she was intimate with all of his family members and him with hers. They had gone through so much with each other that they were basically born from the same womb, though they had basically grown up as family.

“I’m getting a roommate” Elias said and then he continued to tell her the story of what happened and his add to which Theresa was forced to hold in a laugh.

“Go for it, most that could happen is…. death……or rape from a big guy named Antonio” Theresa let a snicker slip from her lips.

“Theresa I really need your advice”

“Go for it I said” she emphasized her words.

“It seems safe right?” Elias continued. Theresa shrugged her shoulders and gave a face that spoke ‘fuck if I care’.

“All that matters is that you get a bit of help until you can find a job”.

Elias nodded to her “Right” he said with a sigh before they allowed themselves to be taken in by silence and the screens of their cellphones until their waiter brought them the large pizza. They sat there for another few hours until they finished the pizza and their waters. Before they left Theresa paid the tab and left a 6-dollar tip and then they left. They went to Elias’s house, Theresa slept on the couch and Elias on the floor with a comforter. The apartment only had that one room and Theresa was going to be sure she would not be caught on that disgusting floor, though she was sure the couch was no better.

The following morning Theresa spent the morning with Elias, they spent a few hours walking around town and then ended at the library to message Elias’s roommate to be. He sent his okay and then she replied with her cellphone number. After that Theresa left to go home saying she needed to get ready for her nightshift. Elias went back to his apartment and texted his roommate:

Hey there this is Elias ummm so if you want to meet up when your free there are a few places around, we can meet sometime during the weekend maybe in the afternoon or morning.


Hey Elias, we can definitely meet up, how about tomorrow actually I have the day off how about around 2 or three.


3 sounds good.


Yay :) see you there.


Elias sat the table of a small café’. He was wearing some dress clothes he used for job interviews. A white dress shirt, a black tie and black slacks. He felt choked in the clothing but he needed to look his best. The roommate was probably a girl from the name and way she texted he assumed, he did not want to scare her off. He had not shaved regrettably but he did not expect her to want to meet up so soon. But she seemed very eager…her hoped this was not all a bad idea. He checks his phone, it was 2:54. He had come early just to be sure he could make it in time, the café’ was nearby but now as close as the library. He was just lucky it was not too hot outside today. He found himself falling into fantasies about who this roommate could be. He thought of how…inconvenient it would be if she was an attractive woman, she would walk around in her towel, half naked with her butt hanging out in pajamas. An open robe. God! That would be awesome and suck all at once. But what if she was ugly, fat, obese and sweaty, like she stunk and breathed really heavy. During the summer, she would also walk around the same was, open robe, half naked. He nearly puked at the prospect. He could not disconnect his thoughts, he had to try and figure out who would be sitting across from him this morning. He checked his phone and it was now 3:04. He scanned the vicinity and found that people were coming and going normally. He had no way of knowing who was who. College girls came in dressed scantily but comfortably and as usual they were all attractive. What if she was a college girl? He found himself becoming a bit excited until the thought finally hit him. He finally realized that the name was not that common and can be attributed to anyone, even a guy…a gay guy…a gay guy named Antonio who had just gotten out of jail and was lonely…A large, lonely, horny, cannibal named Antonio. He shook the thought out of him mind in hopes of destroying any possibility of the visual coming to mind of what possibilities may come with the fantastic description. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he answered without looking, the voice was one which he nearly confused for Theresa’s though after hearing his name spoken he realized just how much sweeter this one was.

“Found you” it said with a giggle that caused his heart to quiver inside of him. He looked up to the girl on her phone approaching his table. She was wearing a tight black hoodie zipped up on her body that showed off her naval and short jean shorts with sneakers on. She was pretty flower one that intoxicated crowds and glowed with the light of newly born white dwarf the size of a red giant. She encapsulated his soul within him on first sight. Her porcelain skin lightly tanned by the sun, eyes the color of the bright blue sky, her hair was short, just to her neck dyed the color red. She had long legs and a waist that matched the curve of her body perfectly. Her smile caused his skin to prickle with delight. She was sculpted for him and he born to live the moment where she would move in with him. He planned to do a lot of peeking into the bathroom.

“Elias right?” she said, her voice so gentle, friendly. Elias stood, moving from the table and extended a hand, she came up to him and hugged him before taking her seat. “Sorry…” she began “I know this is all really sudden but I saw your ad and your house it really close by. I just got really excited…you have no idea how badly I need this”.

“No I understand…. I’m in a bit of a desperate situation here also” Elias felt himself beginning to blush as he watched her smile while she talked.

“Then… what are we waiting for?” Aridicai said with a large smile and little laugh.

“Honestly just you to say you’re in” Elias said. Aridicai snickered

“So then it good, is there a contract or anything…like a time I have to be out by or something?”. Elias froze before an idea popped into his head. He had not thought much about this part of the agreement but Theresa was a certified Paralegal so assumedly she could write up contractual agreements.  And those might be really important.

“Yeah…right…uhh…. We can meet at the apartment and I’ll have a friend of mine, a paralegal bring the document once she’s finished writing them all up. I thought things would take a bit longer to get underway but – “

“Yeah like I said sorry” Aridicai said “But don’t worry I have a few days off this week so how about Saturday, that about three days from now”


With that they ordered some food and talked a bit their lives for about the elapse of two hours. Aridicai was as charismatic as she was beautiful and Elias could not wait to begin his time under the same roof with her. The fantasies that he had in his dreams that night were wondrous things. He left Aridicai smiling and went to bed smiling and as he slept he slept and dreamt smiling.

The next day he knew Theresa had the day off. He called her and asked her over to his apartment. He had sat there eating Ramen until she arrived. When he opened the door he found her standing there with a companion at her side. He let out a groan.

“Why’s Chris here?” he started before returning to the couch.

“He works at the law firm” Theresa explained, she was carrying a laptop at her side.

“He’s an accountant” Elias argued.

“You’re getting a roommate?” Chris sighed, “Have you met him yet?”

“She’s hot” Elias said with a large smile on his face, his teeth caked with remnants from his lunch.

“Really” Chris said.


Chris looked to his brother, the shine of the sun through the living room window caused his eyes to seem brighter in the sun’s rays. He looked to Elias with those portals of azure manifestations of disdain for the target within their reticule. “So you’ve met her?” he said.

“Yeah, she seems alright, really eager –“

“So then you’ll get a job, right?” the words were the spoken insult that Elias was awaiting. Useless trash, pathetic waste of a rat’s ass burned in the furnace of the devil’s own discarded trinkets.

“Yes” Elias said, he would not allow rage to fall from his soul, not like last time. Elias simply looked to sun outside and allowed the sounds of the crying birds and societies happy calls to cradle his psyche. “I typed up my resume’. She knows I just need to get back on my feet and…We’re taking it from there”. Elias let out a sigh and looked to Theresa then to his brother. They both stared to him with eyes torn from agonies own skull, they were in pain, crying out in anguish as they peered into his soul. They were trying ot read him, trying to discern the convictions of his heart. But her was serious, he would go forward with what he need to do. But he needed their help, he needed them to trust him.

“I need you two to write up a contract for me, a nice one, just telling the stipulations of our agreement” he said. He sat on the couch and leaned back as he looked to his brother who still stood in front of the window and Theresa who sat on the floor before him, her legs crossed as she fiddled with her computer.

“Chris” she said looking to Elias’s brother.

“Why does his opinion matter?” Elias barked out to her.

“He’s an accountant” Theresa said with a smile.

“Yeah but I’m asking you” he paused allowing her prior comment to register in his mind for one moment before continuing “The fuck does him being an accountant even mean?”

“I want to meet her” Chris said moving beside Theresa and taking a seat, “I don’t really care what you do but I at least want to know the woman who will be helping support my older brother until he gets back on his feet”.  Elias’s glare was one that easily portrayed his wish to order hid brother from his home, yet he needed him, he was well aware of this. Theresa obviously held Chris in a very high regard, despite the difference in ages. His brother was five years younger than himself and Theresa was the same age as Elias. Despite the age difference Chris had always been an intelligent man, easily grasping the simplest concepts and using them to pave a way for his ambition. Theresa seemed to look to him as a type of rival figure it seemed, seeing as the bother of them were equally as ambitious and ingenious as the other, from simple observation from the eyes of a man such as Elias at least.

“Fine. This weekend, sign. Write the fucking contract” he sighed before vacating the living room and going to the bathroom, if only for a moment away from his young tormentor. He sat there in the darkness of the room for just a few moments allowing his mind to calm itself so that he would not lose himself to wrath. He breathed in slowly holding the breath and then exhaled. He could hear the voices of his friend and brother speaking from behind the closed door.

“I really hope this girl finds another place to live” Theresa ‘s voice spoke

“1 month maybe 2, she won’t stay once he still hasn’t gotten a job by then”

Elias’s heart felt as if the planet had caved in upon his chest and all of it gravity now pressed down on him alone. He sat down on the side of the bathtub and simply allowed himself to cry. He cried silently allowing dread to envelope his soul. He sobbed quietly into his hands and simply sat there as he contemplated a question that served to repeat itself in a never ending loop within his soul.

“Why does my family hate me?”.

 The contract was now finished and within the passing week Elias and Aridicai continued a bac and forth intimacy with one another that soon blossomed into a friendship, one of like saw the two meeting one another regularly once the girl was off of work. She visited the apartment once and the two sat and talked together deep into the night. She spoke of herself and how she was traveler thought much of the intricacy was left out of the tale and much of it was simply her regaling him with fables of interesting events that had happened. They talked on the phone often and he told her of his college experience an of the times thereafter. Eventually came the day before the contract signing. Elias and Ardicai met that morning and took the time to walk around the city together. Elias reveled in the moments he had with her. Her wit was as beautiful as she, her vernacular was glorious. She spoke so properly and her each and every spoken phrase was reminiscent of a stanza from a Victorian poet. He spirit was enticing and her very existence radiated her enjoyment of the world. They went to the park and sat there on the swings.

“Bro no way you killed a bear”

“No me. This guy I was hitchhiking with, he was some trucker, a bear was in the road and” With clap of her hands she signaled the end to her story, hinting to the demise of the bear.

“Kind of sad” Elias said.

“No not really” Aridicai’s eyes looked to him from the side, her gaze was a pain to his soul, a test to his self-control. They sat there in the morning sun, the sight of children dancing in the sand, the sound of their singing and running it was all a construct of the beauty of the world. This moment was the wonder that was needed in his life, he saw her and he knew that God had constructed for this moment, the show that there is light in darkness, that in despair there can still be joy, in thralls of pure hatred love still is existent. “Death is a release from life, life is a valley of thorn trees and poison oak, walking through it you will never truly come out without a scar, but with death you can be released from the pain of having to bare the pain of the walk or the scars at the end. That bear was released” she let a smile grace her face.

“Life is not all agony and scares” he looked to the eyes of the beauty beside him “Rather it is existence that holds all the things that we perceive. The pain and the sorrow all things we choose to feel from the experiences that we have come to have” he paused and allowed a smile to grace his face as well. “the same can be said for the beauty and love”

“We just have to choose see it” Aridicai continued “To open our eyes” she let a slight giggle grace her lips. “I like talking to you Eli” she said and then they sat there allowing their conversation to fall on more topics of life and death, politics and religion then finally as the noon began to strike the two companions made their way to the apartment.

“He isn’t some douche is he?” Aridicai continued to ask the question in different variations and wording though they all held the same meeting.

“No he’s just. A bit stiff I guess…They both are but they’re family”

“My dad was like that ya’know. Really serious ad ‘Do as I say’ type of guy…Too bad for him really… but that was just how he lived, how he showed love”

“Same…just looking out for his big bro” Elias said, the two nearing the apartment complex.

“Well tell him big bro can live his own life” Aridicai grabbed his hand held it high crying out “SING IT LOUD SING IT PROUD!!!!!! I WANNA LIVE MY LIFE!!!!!!” Elias looked around as bystanders watched the girl and the boy walking with their hands held high, the girl crying out the phrase over and over again. A few young college students joining in the rant as they walked by. A few clapping at their confidence. Elias cried out with her, feeling overwhelmed by her personality. “I WANNA LIVE MY LIFE!!!!” he cried to which Aridicai answered

“HELL YEAH YA DO!!!!!” and they continued their chant all the way back to the apartment complex. Inside they sat down and ate Ramen noodles as they chatted about what they would do once she was fully moved in to the apartment.  Hours passed and eventually as night began to fall Chris and Theresa finally showed up. Theresa held the three-page contract in her hand and Chris simply walked in as the advisor. He greeted Aridicai though he had not seemed much taken by her beauty. Elias could tell when his brother was attracted to a girl, of course the situation was a bit unnerving to Chris it seemed so that might have been affecting his senses. Theresa greeted Aridicai as well and read off the terms to her. Aridicai simply agreed and signed. With that the four sat and talked. Chris began with a simple

“Where are you from” to which Aridacai stated that she was from out of state though she does not live anywhere.

“I travel around “she said. “I lived with my mom and dad my entire life but my dad was a soldier and my mom was cop. My mom died in duty when I was twelve and my dad he lost it and went off somewhere once I turned sixteen, he left me some money and when I turned 18 I got a job and started travelling around to see if I could find him. Eventually I ran out of money and….” she shrugged her shoulders dismissing the situation. “Here I am, I got a job down here now and I wanted to find a stable place….” She looked to Elias, her eye showing an adoration that seemed far beyond that of their simple cordial intimacy, an appreciation that neither he nor his family could read quite correctly it seemed. “And now here I am” she smiled, her voice soft. 

“Well shit” Theresa’s words fell tonelessly though her wide eyes were clearly impressed. “There is no way that is all true”

“Every word” Aridicai attested. “I’ve been travelling for almost 4 years now, living in my car for about 1 or 2 of those. Picked up a few talents since then too”.

“Such as?”

“I am fuck bomb at guitar” Aridicai said, her voice speaking out a confidence that she clearly held from truth. “I actually have on in my car. It’s in the parking lot if you want me play”.

“I like guitar” Theresa said

“Why not” Chris said and then they all went down to the apartments parking lot.

Aridicai’s car was a small early year car. It was rusted and unpainted, the tires balding and the headlights thick with cataracts. She opened the back seat and pulled out an old acoustic guitar.

“Take a seat kids” she said walking around and sitting on the trunk of car. The group all sat around and looked up to her as she began to play.

Within the gasp of the platinum glow of the great full moon she picked at the stings releasing the melody of a somber song. Each and every strum of the steel string, every tap of the wood frame in between. Her song glided through the silence of the night and enveloped the empty lot. She began to sing softly, her voice sweet, like the smell of jolly rancher candy on the subtle night breeze. Elias felt her in his soul, this beauty once again struck his heart and as she opened her beautiful eyes and looked to him as she sang and played the guitar he felt that he would never again be able to rid her from his soul from then on.  The four left hat night off with laughter and friendship. Aridicai stayed there that night and every night thereafter. The following afternoon following Aridicai coming back from work they purchased a blowup mattress for Elias to sleep on so that Aridicai could sleep on the couch. The following month they decided to get the electricity turned back on at Aridicai’s expense and Elias would take care of the water leaving them both to split the rent 50/50. Within the second month the two had officially settled in to one another’s flow. They knew each other’s schedules though Elias had still regrettably been unsuccessful at getting a decent place of employment since she had moved it. Within the second month he had begun to find himself in the hands of despair. He lay there on the blow up bed listening as Aridicai sat in one of his T-shirts strumming her guitar. He breathed in the serenity of the moment as he thought back to the moments in time that lead up their being exactly who they were at this very moment. HE cursed himself for being who he was. So unlucky, so useless. He wanted to cry once more but he would not allow himself to do so.

He looked to this beautiful woman there with him and peaked just a little up the bottom of her shirt to see that she was not wearing any under wear then paused as he noticed that she caught him and then she smiled. She crossed her legs and continued to play.  They sat there not saying another word until he could no longer contain himself. He had to speak, had to know what she thought of this useless man, this man who can do nothing more than feed off the non-renewable resource of money that was given to him by his parents.

“Aridicai…. what do you think of me?”  blackness now gripped him as he allowed the thoughts of Theresa’s success, Chris’s success and his spiral down the abyss of discontent to pelt his very sanity.

“You are how you are” she answered. He said nothing and simply looked to her as she continued playing guitar as they sat there unspeaking a bit longer.

“Come here” she said to him softly. Elias looked to her and she smiled and ushered him beside her with a head nod. He sat up and went over to her, sitting on the couch beside her.

“You see my fingers, how I pick at the strings, you hear the sound that they make. Well this is my play style, how I play this particular song. Even if I was not the first to do it, the original, this is how I play it and so it is my song, my play-style. I am not the only one who plays it, not the only one who plays guitar but this is my guitar, my guitar and my play style. No one can tell me it is wrong or right so long as I know the basics of making it sound pretty enough to get by. We can only play our guitars until they can be played no more, we can only sing our songs until we can sing no more”. She smiles to him “Whatever you want to do is your choice, either go for money or chase a dream, so long as you’re alive”. They sat there for a bit longer until her music stopped and she offer him the guitar. “I can teach you”.

“You know I think my brother likes you” Elias sighed. Aridicai folded her lips inward before pulling the guitar in and letting silence fall between them as she set herself up to play another set.

“What about Theresa aren’t they…...?”

“Who knows” Elias sighed as she began to play.


Elias shook his head “That was a long time ago”. They sat there allowing only the sound of the guitar to speak between them.

“Do you like me?” Aridicai’s voice broke through the sound of the gentle acoustic tune. Elias sat in silence as he allowed the answer to stick in his throat.

“Yeah” his voice at a near whisper, his eyes to the ground as flush painted his face. The sound of the guitar taking center stage once more.

“I like you too” Aridicai said. Elias looked to her and she to her guitar as it sang a melody that spoke of despair and love.

The elapse of the next few passing hours was one of that very song that told of the darkness for which either listener of the guitars words could not fully grasp, yet they held a moderate understanding. They held the darkness within them and cradled the black tone of its melancholy reverberations. The gray stone that fell down into stream of blackened waters and flowed down the stream had reached their souls and they now held it, each of their hands clasping it together between one another palms, one over the other. As the sun began to rise they looked to one another and though their faces had not portrayed their thoughts they knew that their minds had been thinking a thought that was one and the same, if not simply similar. That night they both lay on the bed together, their bodies held in one another’s own embrace, their souls speaking to each other a conversation tinted in a dolorous colored shade. They both dreamt of drowning in one another’s.

From the point of that night and all thereafter the two of them were inseparable, they walked in the mornings and Elias began to take Aridicai to work and bring her back home every night. They spent the time together held in each-other’s arms until the morning and they would repeat the routine regularly. To them these times were an unspoken importance, they would die if they could not have these times together and in the rare moments for the passing days that they could not, their breathes would feel as if they would cease in their lungs. If Aridicai was not there Elias would call her to ensure she would be home and if Elias could not take her to work or could not drive for any reason she would refuse to go to work. Their minds were congruent masses and they enjoyed looking in the mirror. One cannot separate from their self and so these two would not leave each other. Months passed much the same manner and they were happy. Elias continued to attempt to find employment to no avail and eventually his well-spring ran dry. His money had now come to a simple 300 dollars and their next month’s payment was rushing at them with a wretched face. They desperately needed 2 paychecks in the house or else they would be forced to leave. Then came the day when he was forced to contact his brother for assistance. He needed just a bit of money this month and then he would be able to find a job.

He dialed the phone once his beloved other half had been dropped to work and received an immediate voice of malice to his ear.

“Eli” was spoken preceded by a long obvious sigh from the mouth of Theresa.

“I need to talk to Chris” Elias spoke.

“He’s busy…What?”

“Tell him to call me” Elias said, his voice unable to muster much in the way of passion towards her this day.

“We’re not giving you any money” Theresa spoke as if she could foresee his words before he spoke them.

“But –“before he could finish the phone was disconnected.

Elias sat there on his couch and breathed in deeply, tears spilling from his eyes. He gripped the phone gently before closing his eyes. He would need to speak with Aridicai. Once he picked her up that night they sat there in front of the television and he told of all that had transpired. His heart ached with each word that he spoke but Aridicai simply smiled and placed a hand on his cheek. 

“I can get a second job sweetie” she said, her voice soft, subtle, no hint of malcontent within her. “It’s easy trust me”. From then on just two a week following she got a second part time at a retail store. Elias and her would wake up in the morning and take her to second job at the retail store every day and then pick her up from there and take her to her first job. This routine though it strained their initial it kept them able to live and even have just a bit of luxury. Come the passing year Aridicai bought her love a new game console for his birthday and a new flat-screen television to play one. Wondrous days were passed as he played day and night, downloading games with money from Aridicai’s card and using his allowance to purchase more.

He needed these subtle releases from the stress of his lonely days and nights without his lover. They had been connected for so long that he could barely stand being in that house alone. Without her for one moment. He would sit there alone for so long that his sanity could barely take it. He began to take up drinking, he bought beer and drank his loneliness to oblivion. Eventually Aridicai noticed his changing behavior. Of course he was not an angry man, it was not in his nature even with the alcohol affecting his limiters. No he was actually a jolly man to be around, spontaneous, outgoing and even more nurturing of her than he would be sober. However, she could not bear to watch him drink his health away, not out of loneliness, not because of her. She approached him one night on the ride back from work. She in the driver seat, she did not want him driving, not after watching him swerve in to the parking lot of her job.

“Eli, tell me…. you’re drunk right now, I can smell it on you”

“I was drinking” he said. She opened her mouth to speak but her words were not needed, be it the alcohol or simply his inability to contain much longer he spoke out his reasons. “We were good; you and me, we were together and I’m just not used to living without you anymore. I…. was so lonely, every…day I was so sad, so’ He paused as tears began to show his despair. “I just wish you hadn’t come into my life. At least I wouldn’t have to live through losing you”. Despair brought with it a wordless fog of agonies that ate at the soul of Aridicai as her lover wept quietly to himself before falling asleep. She simply looked on into the empty streets. He eyes blurring from the growing sadness that wished to break free in a cry of anguish from her voice. Like a pressure within her very core it pressed against her body and she fought it letting only a tiny whimper to come from her lips, if only to keep from waking her love.

Weeks passed following the moments of that night of her lovers spoken reasons for sorrow and she had finally accumulated enough PTO to take a two-week vacation. She spent her time reconnecting with her broken lover and the time was one filled with moments of carnal unleash and the coddling of one another’s soul. The showed the love that the once had for one another and kissed one another’s bodies if only to replace the taste that was once on their lips. There was no need for them to say “I love you” though they spoke it out constantly and each time both of their hearts fluttered within one another. Then on the day that the vacation ended that morning began with Elias’s somber gaze staring into the mirror. Aridicai could feel that he was not happy, though he knew he would be forced to live with the arrangement if he was going to survive this lifetime. Aridicai began working constant hours, she picked up over-time shifts when available if only to be able to provide her love with a memento of her love for him whenever possible. Then came the wedding of Chris and Theresa. They invited their brother and his love whom of course was ecstatic, she took a vacation and forced Elias to shave his beard and convinced him to put down the bottle for two days prior – for she assumed he would need both full days to detox a bit – from there on they went to the wedding. Due to the paychecks of both the bride and groom as well as a bit of assistance from the mother and father of both the wedding was one of pure luxury and extravagance. It took place on a large yacht with only the closest family and friends. Aridicai sat with the bride and her party and they were enjoying the celebration. Their times were amazing and then the sound of shattering glass and the cries of mothers echoed through the joyous occasion. Elias lay on the ground upon his back. His cheek swollen and a bottle in his. He sobbed loudly crying out to the heavens.

“WHY GOD!!!!! PLEASE DON’T HATE ME!!!!!!! I TRIED!!!!!!! I TRIED!!!!!!!!!” he wept to the heavens to anyone who could hear. Aridicai ran to him fell to her knee’s. She apologized to all the onlookers, picking up his head.

“ARIDICAI!!!!” he called out “WHY CAN’T YOU LOVE ME!!?!!?!!!?!!?!!?” She looked to him, her heart freezing in her chest.

“I…do” she said her voice quivering.

“DON’T LIE!!!!!!!” he cried and then Chrises hand pulled her away from the pitiful man who was her lover.

“Go on” Chris sighed, “We can take him to the bed to sleep it off”.

Aridicai stood there. The sounds of the chattering gossips all spreading the stories of Aridicai and her lover into one another’s ear.

She did love him, she loved him and she just could not find the time, but eventually she would show him, she would show him that it was true. That they were capable of being together, being happy with one another. If only he would listen, if only his mind would focus enough for her to tell him about the coming child.

Aridicai left the main room of the party sat alone in the bathroom, she simply allowed the silence to coddle her mind until she felt sanity come to her again. Then came Theresa and her new husband to dampen her serenity with their kind words.

“You shouldn’t be in here” Aridicai said eyeing Chris.

“It fine” he assured locking the door. “Rather. Why are you here?”

“You invited me”

“I mean why were we able to? You should not be with him; my brother”

“He’s bad for you” Theresa said. “Especially if you have a child”

“I won’t leave him” Aridicai assured. “He loves me. He’s just….”

“An ass, lazy, pitiful” Chris began

“STOP!!!!” Aridicai ordered “He’s your brother” she whimpered before walking passed him and unlocking the door before taking her leave following her declaration “I love him, you should too if you had any soul at all”. She left the bathroom and returned to her love who slept in a room at the bottom of the yacht. She curled up beside him, the bed moist and damp, the smell of vomit and urine heavy on his body.

“I love you” she spoke through the despairs in her heart, “I love you so much” her anguish spilled out through her eyes as she wept quietly as to not wake her love. This was where she belonged just beside this mass of filth, just beside her love.

The days following were the same as before, Aridicai worked and Elias stayed home, he lay in his bed and played videogames, he drank alcohol and cried himself to sleep on Aridicai’s chest. Then she told him of the baby as she began to show and then within 3 months she put on paid maternity leave from her retail job. This time perfect, she and her love were now together always, as before however the tie was different, they were unable to do as they used to, they could not drink together or wrestle of play, no they had to be ready for the baby and then as the baby a shadow quickly decded on them with a veil of misery and desperation. Within the first month their money was quickly depleted by its needs. Their power was quickly forced to be shut down once again. Their water was next in line as their payments were too consistently late and finally a 3-month advance notice for eviction came by. Elias’s calls to his family went unanswered and Aridicai was still on paid leave.

She would not allow her child to live on the streets, she knew how it was and she could not allow that to transpire. No… instead she searched for jobs from home and eventually within another month she found one that paid 12 dollars an hour. With this job she paid all of her expenses and then she cared for her child. Life was soon all well again. Eventually on the child’s first birth day she was free to go back to work leaving the child to be cared for by his father.

Elias sat there with his son; little Elijah. Elijah sat in his lap, his head rested on his father’s big belly while his father played on his game. The game was the only sound being the sound of the games characters and effects and then breaking it was the sound of the child’s crying. It echoed through the room and eventually Elias could not handle it. Every day, every day since he was born the crying, the lack of sleep, the stress he could not take it. He flicked the boys lip. The boy stopped crying and looked to him.

“Shut it” he said sternly before letting out sigh and placing the child on the couch beside. The boy sat there, his lip leaking just a small trickle of blood, his stomach growling from hunger. He began to cry again receiving another flick to the mouth.

“I SAID SHUT IT!!!!” Elias cried out before the sound of his character’s death sounded inciting a loud cry of rage. “Dammit” he sighed.

Aridicai received a call during break to return home just moments after. “Elijah I think somethings wrong with him”. She called cab and raced home, she barged through the door and saw her lover sitting there beside a child crying on the floor, her lover playing on the videogame and her child crawling toward her on his hand and knees with a tear streaked face, his shrieks throat shredding. She looked to her love and then to the boy. She picked the boy up without a word and walked to the bathroom. She looked herself in the mirror, the bags from so many sleepless nights, the headaches from fatigue, the sound of crying night after night, the aching back the wrinkles upon her face. She cooked, cleaned, worked and took care of the child. Three jobs, motherhood, a night where she was allowed to sleep for more than 15 minutes was nowhere in her memory any longer. She looked to the crying child wiped his swollen lips.

“There you go little Elijah. Don’t worry, mommy will make you feel better, make everyone feel better”.  She went back to the kitchen and fed her child before sitting beside her love with a now sleeping baby sighed, she still had to go on the computer and finish her report for her home job, at least she had an extra few hours until it was time for her to go to her second job. She decided to get the report first off. Her lap top was on the ground beside the bed where the baby now slept with his mother while Elias slept on the couch.

“Watch Elijah while I do some work please” she said, her body to give a voice with anymore passion than a stoic pitch.

“Can’t you do it” Elias looked to her, his eyes pleading, his voice beginning her. “I…I just…I don’t know, I’m no good at it”.

“He’s your child” she said, she could not hold back a tear. She did not know why but she just began to cry, just let out silent doleful tears and she could not hold them back. This was hard, so hard.

“Aridicai don’t do this man, I’ve had him all day it’s your turn just let him sleep while you work on your computer” Elias turned to the game again and went on with his game. “By the way I need your card tomorrow and the car, I have to go buy this new game that just came out”.

“Sorry” she said before kissing her baby. She stood and walked out of the house calling out that she was going to the library to work. She could not believe that Elias had not even considered that she wanted to sleep, or even that she had to go to work afterward. She skipped work that day and slept in the car cuddled with her baby, this preceded by her trip to the hardware store to buy a rope.

The following morning, she called in to her job and took the time to sleep in as her love left for work. The sun shinned into the window yet she only awakened as the light dimmed to the silver glow of the moon. She awakened to a baby crying out in anguish and her love nowhere to be found. She had known how long the baby cried to deaf ears yet it would not matter because he would suffer no more. She made her way to the bathroom and filled the tub with warm water.

“Rest now Elijah…I’m sorry you had to live this for so long” She fed him and then kissed his lips. “I love you” her voice breaking through tears “And Mommy is So sorry you had to go through this”. Agony soon fell from the child as she placed him gently into the water and placed him at the bottom. His mouth opened to cry and as water floored his little lungs he quickly died and floated. Aridicai sat there and watched him until he began to float to the top. His fecal matter and urine turning the liquid into a filthy fog. His father had left them there in the morning and now it was night, she fed the child, freed him and watched his body float back to the top. She smiled to her baby and congratulated him

“You’re free now” she said and if his father did not return home soon she would be too.

Elias came back home that night. The night was now showing the beginning of a coming winter and he would soon have to get a new jacket he thought, he figured he would need to ask Aridicai for a bit ore money. He found a parking space close to the area in the complex where he lived and turned parked, he stopped and put the car in park. He took his foot of the break and turned the car off, his vision was a bit wobbly and his vision was off, he knew he had drunk too much. He made his way to the stairs, stumbling a bit as he attempted to go upward, he did not hear the baby crying. He saw the light on though the silence was a surprise, he had figured that the baby would be shredding his throat as always. He smiled…he knew his wife was an amazing woman. He opened the door and for a moment he was forced to allow for the registration of the sight to calculate in his drunken mind before his legs finally gave out. He fell to his knees. The couch had been moved just a few feet over below the ceiling fan, the seat of the couch facing the door. In front of it was his beloved hanging there from the fan, a noose around her neck. Her eyes still open, the base of the rope tied to the bar that connected to the fan to the body of the ceiling. She swung there lazily, her dead body staring at him. On her chest was a note written on line paper and taped on her breasts. In large print the letter read:


Elias could see it there from the doorway, read it there despite his lack of sobriety. She knew he would be able to, he knew that, knew why she wanted to be free, knew she wanted to free herself from him. Elias cried out a howl of anguish that shattered the serene frigid night his eyes spilled his sorrows. Just those words, that one simple phrase, she just wanted to be free, wanted to leave him. He fell to his side and pulled his knees in close to his chest Was he such an evil man? Tears began to fall from his eyes. Why did everyone want to leave? He sobbed there on the ground as tears spilled from his eyes. Why doesn’t anyone love him? He quivered there, quivered there until the morning.



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