Noose of Obsession

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  No Houses
I am Jackson, I am married, I have a wife, I have a wife because she loves me, she loves me and I love her. I am Jackson, I am not Robert. I am alive.

Submitted: April 01, 2016

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Submitted: April 01, 2016

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No, do not say that! Do not say that! And she cannot say that, cannot say that! She cannot say that to me. No she cannot say that, no not at all, she cannot say that –She cannot say that because I do not want to hear her say that, no I do not, at, I do not want to hear those words come out of her mouth. Never will I allow those words to come out of her mouth.

She tells me  “I am going out o town” and she tells me this, and she smiles and she tells me this. She tells me this and she smiles, she smiles as if everything is okay when she tells me this! Does she assume that everything is okay when she tells me this? Does she think that I will not speak up when she tells me this? Does she assume that I will not voice my opinion when she tells me this? No she cannot assume that everything is okay when she tells me this! Why? Everything is not okay when she tells me this that is why, no everything is not okay when she tells me that she is going out of town! I will tell her that am not allowing her to go out of town, no I cannot let her go out of town, so I have to tell her that I am not going to let her go out of town. But how will I tell her that I am not allowing her to go out of town? How will I give her notice that I am offended that she wants to go out of town? Who in fact is she going out of town with, is it Robert? Yes it has to Robert, yes Robert, that Robert. Or Michelle, no Robert definitely Robert, I know it is Robert and so it has to Robert because I know Robert is the one with whom she is going out of town with and so I cannot let her go out of town. But how, how do tell her that I do not want her to go out of town? Go out of town with Robert, go out of town with Robert, and then they will do things, they will do things. They will do things that only a husband and wife are supposed to do, that only she and I are supposed to do – Because she is my wife, she is my wife as of two years ago, she is my wife as of two years ago and so she cannot go out of town with Robert because I married her. I married her and so she is mine, and so I can tell her that she cannot go out of town with Robert.  But how do I tell her that she cannot go out of town with Robert? How can I be sure that after I tell her that she cannot go out of town with Robert and be sure that she still does not go out of town with Robert? How do I ensure that when I tell her not to go out of town with Robert that she will not then cry? Oh she will cry, yes she will cry, my wife always cries, yes my wife cries and she always cries. Screams and cries, yes always screams and cries, always screams and cries whenever I tell her something, whenever I ask not to go anywhere, whenever I ask her not to go out of town with Robert, she cries, she screams and cries. And she will cuss at me, and I hate it when she cusses at me. I hate it when she screams and cries and cusses at me and I hate it when she screams and cries and cusses at me and then I’ll let her go out of town with Robert. So I will let her go out of town with Robert, I will lay here on the couch, with my back on the couch with my eyes closed and my hand above my eyes which are beneath my closed eye lids, my left hand dangling from the couch and my left foot on the floor beside the couch. And I am in my pajamas, I am wearing, jeans and a white t-shirt for my pajamas. And I will lay here, in my pajamas with my eyes behind my eyelids and my hand above my closed eyelids and I will let her go out of town with Robert. Why? I do not like to hear her scream and cry, she will scream and cry and I do not like to hear scream and cry. But I cannot allow her to go out of town with Robert because she is my wife and a wife does not go out of town with Robert, since when do wives go out of town with Roberts, why do Roberts have to go out of town with wives? Does Robert not have his own wife. How do I tell her not to go out of town with Robert. Shouldn’t Robert have his own wife, And she will scream and cry, I know she will scream and cry and then she will throw the iron at me again, she always throws things but we need the iron and she cannot break it again. Maybe I should just allow her to out of town with Robert, Robert might be a nice guy. But not because she is my wife and Robert should have his own wife, maybe I should take Robert wife. And I will not allow her to go out of town with a Robert, Robert is a stupid name anyway.

“Are you?” MY name is not Robert my name is Jackson and so my name is definitely not Robert and so Robert is a stupid name and so I ask her is she? Why? Robert is a stupid name and so I ask her is she? Is she Really? Why because Robert is a stupid name and so she cannot go out of town with Robert because he has a stupid name. My name is not stupid. And now what will she say? She cannot go out of town now because she cannot, because Robert is a stupid name and I asked her “Are you?”, I asked her “Are you?” so I spoke up and she cannot go now because I spoke up so she cannot go now. Now she cannot go out of town with Robert because I spoke up. And Robert really is a dumbass name. All Roberts must me dumbasses. So now Robert cannot see my wife because he is a dumbass and dumbasses do not get to see other peoples wives, not my wife, no my wife does not like dumbasses, she likes me and I am not a dumbass. I am smart, very smart indeed, I was a teacher, a math teacher so I know I am smart. I am smart because I was a teacher, a professor, a professor at a university so I am not a dumbass, I am smart. I am smart because I am a professor and I know a lot of things, not just math I know very many things, very many things indeed, I know lots and lots of things, because I went to school and I got a doctorates so I am smart. My mother says I am smart and that is why I had to marry because all smart men have beautiful wives and my wife is very beautiful and I love her very much and that is why I cannot allow her to go out of town with Robert. My name is Jackson and my last name is Douglas and my wife her name Marissa Douglas and we have the same last name because we are married and we also have rings that show we are married, so she cannot go out of town with Robert because a husband does not allow his wife to go out of town with other men. That is what my mother always told me and mother was a smart woman just like I am a smart man and so I will not allow my wife to go out of town with a Robert.

“Yes. Tomorrow morning I have to meet a client is Chicago. Should be about a week or two not long”

I open my eyes now, I open my eyes and I see my hand in front of my face. Why is my hand in front of my face, why do I open my eyes and my hand is front of my face. And I hear my wife talking and I cannot stop wondering why the hell  my hand is in front of my face. My wife is still talking, talking about work and my hand is in front of my face, wasn’t I sleep until my wife began talking so how was I asleep with my hand in front of my face, is my wife still talking? She is a lawyer. She is talking about work and she is a lawyer. A lawyer, do lawyers travel? No lawyers do not travel, she cannot be a lawyer and travel, not travel so much. She simply wants to go meet Robert and I am a smart man so I know lawyers do not travel because she simply wants to go meet Robert. I sit up on the couch and why is my hand still in front of my face, and why is my wife still talking. Is she talking about Robert? No she is talking about work. My wife is talking about work and I should move my hand from in front of my face because my wife is talking about work and she is in the kitchen and I have to look at her. I move my hand from in front of my face and I look at my wife and yes she is beautiful, she is very beautiful my wife talks about work and I see that she is very beautiful, too beautiful. I close my eyes and place my hand in front of my face. I place my hand in front of my face and see a picture of my wife in my head because she is beautiful and I want to see if I can see her beauty inside of my head and have it come out the same as when I see her in real life. I see her, her brown hair, her lips, her skin, her fair skin. I see her naked, I see her breasts, her heavy supple breasts, her long hair down to her back . Her legs , long legs that she wraps around my head when we make love, the legs that she interlocks with mine when we hold each other on the couch. Those arms, the thin arms thatshe  hugs me with whenever she comes home from a meeting with Robert, I hate Robert. I hate Robert for touching my wife, my beautiful wife, my wife should not be touched by anyone but her husband and I am her husband so she cannot be touched by anyone but me because I am Jackson Douglas and she is Marissa Douglas and that means that I am her husband. I open my eyes and I see my beautiful wife, she is not naked she is in her pajamas, she is in her pajamas, a T-shirt, one of my T-shirts and I can see her ass, and she is not wearing any underwear. I can see her breasts and she is not wearing a bra and yes she is more beautiful in person so I am ashamed because I cannot capture my wife’s beauty in my head. Why can I never capture my wife’s beauty in my head, why is she more beautiful in person, except for the breasts, I got the breasts wrong, they were better in my head, they were bigger.

“Jack?”. She calls me Jack, she is the only one that can call me Jack because she is the only one that I will allow to use that name, not even my mother can call me Jack because that name is reserved for my wife to call me Jack. To call me Jack is a privilege and so I give that privilege to my wife because she is beautiful and I love her and why can her breasts not be as big as they were in my head.

“You’re leaving tomorrow?” She was going to ask if I was listening and I was but she will not believe me, she never believe that I was listening to her but I always listen to her, why would I not listen to my wife, she is my wife and she talks and I listen because she likes when I listen and she gets angry when I don’t, and I love my wife. But it won’t matter because she never thinks I listen and I do listen but maybe I should not listen since she does not think I listen.

“You weren’t listening, were you?” she turns and looks at me and she is make a sandwich in the kitchen and she is smiling at me with her lips, her lips and why is she smiling at me with her lips, does she smile at Robert. I was listening to her so why is she smiling, is she mad?

“Yes I was. You’re leaving tomorrow morning”. She will not believe me and she will go to Robert and she will tell Robert that I am a horrible husband and she will kiss him with the lips that she smiles at me with and she will wrap her legs around his head when they begin to make love and then she will let him stick it inside of her afterward. I am not a bad husband, I am not and she should know that, I love her so much, I love her more than that Robert loves her, I love her more than anyone can love. Robert is a dumbass and so he cannot love her because dumbasses cannot love. 

“Did you sleep on the couch last night?” she did not believe me, she never believes me when I say that I listened to her, she never believes when I have said that I listened to her, I have said that I have listened to her and she did not believe me and that is why she is smiling. She is smilling, my wife she is smiling and she does not believe me that I have listened to her talk, she talked and said words about work and I listened to them and now she is walking toward me and she does not believe me. And she will go out of town with Robert because she did not believe me and she will tell him that I am a bad husband and wrap her legs around his head just before they make love and he sticks it inside of her.  And now she has finished making her sandwich and is no longer standing in the kitchen and is coming toward me, she is coming toward. And my wife is beautiful and she is coming toward me and I can see her vagina as she walks. My wife, is my wife and I can see her vagina and my snake rises as she comes toward me, she is smiling and she is coming toward me nd my snake has risen and she is beautiful.  Her breasts; my wife’s breast are not as big as in my mind but she is beautiful and she is coming toward me, she is beautiful and the bottom of her shirt flips up as she walks and she is coming toward. Is she mad? Is she mad because I was not listening to her ? But I was listening to her, she was talking about work and I was listening to her while she talked about work, and she is lawyer, a lawyer who travels. But Lawyer do not travel. Do lawyers travel? If they do surely they do not travel out of town with dumbasses named Robert, who are dumb and have stupid names. And she cannot go out of town tomorrow morning I have to tell her that I will not allow her to go out of town tomorrow because I will not allow her to go out of town tomorrow because wives are not supposed to go out of town with dumbasses named Robert.  And now she stands in front me at the back of the sofa and she is looking at me with her blue eyes and smiling with her teeth and she is beautiful and my snake rises and I my heart races, and she cannot go out of town with the dumbass Robert, she cannot, she cannot. Robert, Robert, I will not let you have my wife, she is my wife, she is my wife. I have to tell her that she cannot go out of town with dumbasses because dumbasses are not good enough for my wife, especially if their name is Robert. Then is that to say that if he were not a dumbass named Robert would she be able to go out of town with him? Let say if his name was Chet or Christopher…. No, because all smart people have beautiful wives, all smart people love their beautiful wives and are loved by their beautiful wives because they are smart enough to know how to make their beautiful wives love them indefinitely. Smart people do not go after other men’s wives because smart people have no need for other men’s wives because smart people know that another man’s wife is not as good as their own wife. Smart people are too smart to need another man’s wife, they are too smart to need anybody but their own wife. I am a smart man, and so I love my wife, and so I need no one else’s wife and so I cannot ley my wife Marissa Douglas go out of town with a dumbass Robert because a he is not smart he is a dumbass and so he wants my wife. But I am smart, I know my wife loves because I m smart and I am a good husband. Am I a good husband? Am I a good husband. My wife is now standing staring at me and am I a good husband?. 

“Did you sleep at all last night?” She stands there and she stares at me and I am staring at her and looking at her vagina, trying to look at her vagina and am I a good husband. She has asked me if I have slept last night and I want to know am I a good husband. If I were a good husband she would not go out of town with Robert so am I good-husband. She is staring at me and smiling and so she is mad and so if my wife is mad I am not a good husband. So am I good husband? I am not a good husband, I am not. Am I?

“Were you working all night again Jack?” She asked me if I am working and am I good husband. I am sitting her staring, trying to see my wife’s vagina and I am not a good a husband. And where is my wife’s sandwich? Where did my wife put her sandwich, did Robert take it? Did Robert take my wife’s sandwich? I would surely have to kill Robert if he indeed took my wife’s sandwich. But my wife is holding her sandwich and it is on plate held in her right hand cut into triangles. And thank god Robert did not take my wife’s sandwich because what then would she eat.  If my wife could not eat then how could she survive the day, what would I do if my wife could not eat? What would she do if my wife could not eat what would I do if my wife did not know what to do If she could not eat? I could let her eat me, yes she could eat me. But then she could not eat me, because then if she ate me I would be dead and then if I were dead who would be wife’s husband, surely not Robert, she could not eat Robert because he could not taste good, surely dumbasses did not taste good and if she could eat Robert then he could not be her husband.

“Jack honey” my wife she is smiling at me now and watching me, and is she mad, is she mad because I was staring at her vagina, because I was trying to see her vagina, should I not try to see my wife’s vagina? I am her husband and so should I not try to see her vagina? Would she rather Robert see her vagina? But Robert is a dumbass and so Robert could not see her vagina because do dumbasses even know what a vagina is? And my wife had said Jack honey and so I have to answer her because whenever my wife says Jack honey that means she is upset, that means she is worried because I have been working to much and so she is worried. My wife is worried and so I am a bad husband because I have made my wife worry, am I good husband because I have made my wife worry? But I have made my wife worry because I am working so that my wife can be happy, so am I a good husband. Surely I am a smart man so I have to be a good husband. Is my wife angry because I made her worry? My wife is coming around the couch to sit next to me, but she cannot sit next to me because if she sits next to me I will see her vagina and my wife does not want me to see her vagina, but I want to see her vagina, I want to touch her vagina. But my wife is upset because I am working too much and so she will not let me touch her vagina, and so I am a bad husband because my wife does not let me touch her vagina.  And now my wife is sitting next to me and her legs are folded underneath her and her shirt is rising above her butt and onto her lower back and I can see her naked vagina and all around her naked thighs and I can see her naked figure and I can barely contain myself. I want to touch my wife, I love my wife and my wife is beautiful and now I want to touch my wife. I want to touch my wife and I can barely contain myself but my wife is upset and she said Jack Honey and so that means she is upset. And I do not want my wife to be upset because I do not want her to go out of town with Robert because then she will tell him that I am a bad husband and then she will wrap her legs around his head before they make love. 

“Jack” her voice is soft and she lets out a sigh as she places her plate on the floor beside my papers from work. Why are my papers from work on the ground, how did my papers from work get on the ground. I can see my wife’s naked butt as she leans over to get the papers from off the ground and I want to touch my wife, but why are my papers from work on the ground.

“Jack, you shouldn’t work like this” she is looking at my work paper, and I want to touch my wife but I cannot touch my wife because she is looking at my work paper and she is upset. Am I a good husband for working for my wife, should I stop working? My mother always said that a smart man is a good husband and she called me a smart man and so I have to be a good husband, so I should quit my job. So I should quit being a professor, I will still be a smart man if I am not a professor and so I can still be a good husband.

“Am I good husband?” And I asked her if I was a good husband because then she could tell me what  she would want a good husband to do. My wife is a smart woman and so she would know what a good husband would do because my mother was a smart woman and she knew what a good husband would do because all smart woman know what a good husband should do. And she looks at me and why is she looking at me, she is looking at me and she is mad, I know she is mad. She will be angry and throw things at me the she will tell me that I am not a good husband and that Robert is a better man than I am. She will tell me that Robert is a smarter man than I am and tell me that she wants to be Roberts wife instead of mine. Can she do that? Can she tell me that she wants to be a Roberts wife? No she cannot do that because I will not allow it, I will not allow it because I am her husband because I am Jackson Douglas and she is Marissa Douglas and we have rings. I love my wife, I love my wife and so I have to be a good husband because she loves me and we are married and she is a good wife. She always smiles at me and so she is often mad but she will not tell me but she laughs when she is happy and moans when we make love and so I can love her more than Robert does because Robert does not make her moan. Robert cannot make her lose her breathe with a kiss, Robert does not know that she is sensitive on her birthmark just below her naval, Robert does not know that if you kiss her there she will gasp and lose her breathe just before climax.  Robert cannot know my wife and Robert is not her husband so he is not a good husband because it does not make sense for a dumbass who has a stupid name and is not a husband and has no wife and whose wife is not Marissa who is my wife with the same last name as me Douglas to be a good husband. And she is looking at me, Marissa is looking at me and I want to touch her and so I place my hand on her knee and close my eyes so that I do not see her body and so I can only feel her skin. The warmth of her skin, I can feel the warmth of her skin and I cannot see her body, and so I can feel her touch and not see her and so I will be touching her and urged to do no more than that.

“Of course” she is upset, she sounds upset. “Is something wrong Jack”, I have to answer her, I have to open my eyes so that I can answer her. If I don’t open my eyes and answer her then she will ask me if something is wrong again and then she will ask if this is about her going out of town and then we will argue and then we will make love and then she will leave. I have to answer her or else she will get upset and I do not want her to be upset, I do not want her to tell Robert that I am a bad husband so I have to tell her nothing is wrong, I have to tell her nothing is wrong, I have to tell her. But something is wrong, Something is terribly wrong. She wants to go out of town with Robert, she wants to go and travel with Robert and wrap her legs around his head before they make love and he sticks it inside of her. I feel her place her hand on my hand that is on her knee.

“Jackson” and she called me Jackson and her voice is soft and so that means she is upset, she is upset and so we will argue, but I do not want to argue and so this time I will not argue because we always argue and I hate to argue because she throws things and then she cries and then she will say that she is only living her dream and ask if that makes her a bad wife. I will think that that does not make her a bad wife because my wife cannot be a bad a wife and my wife is never a bad wife, she is incapable of being of bad wife and who would tell my wife that she is a bad wife. Robert would not tell my wife that she is a bad wife, I would kill him if he did , I would kill him for so many reasons, I would simply kill him because no one else has killed him yet.

“Jackson” she places her other hand on my cheek and she has said Jackson again and I do not want to argue because I do not want my wife to think that she is a bad wife, I do not want my wife to cry and so I will tell her nothing is wrong, I will tell her nothing is wrong and then I will touch her so that we can make love. “Jackson. Baby you’re a wonderful husband” I can here her slide closer to me and my hand can feel the warmth from between her legs. “Open your eyes and look at me. You’re a beautiful husband, so look at me” And I cannot look at her, I cannot because then I have to see that she is upset and I have to ask about Robert and so when I do we will argue and when we argue she will get angry, throw things and leave tomorrow morning and then she will wrap her legs around Roberts head just before they make love and he sticks it inside of her and then she will tell him that I am a bad husband and that he is smarter than me. Then they will get married and she will never come to me again because I always ask her if I am a bad husband and I always make her cry and question if she herself is a good a wife.  “Jackson, is this about me leaving again? Did something happen?” and I cannot say that it is about Robert, I will not say that this is about Robert, I do not want to speak Roberts name. If my wife would like to wrap her legs around Roberts head then I will allow her to go wrap  her legs around Roberts head because then she will be happy and not question whether she is a good wife, because my wife in fact is a good wife.  “Jackson look at me” I open my eyes because I have decided not to make my wife cry because she is a good wife and I do not like making my good wife cry and so I will not do such a thing. I can see her smile with her lips and she kisses mine “I like it better when my husband looks at me” she kisses my lips again “Are you sure you’re okay with me leaving Jackson?” and she asks me that question and the answer is no but I tell her yes because this time I will not argue, this time will be different, this time I will not let my wife think that she is a bad wife for living her dream. My wife is always a good wife and so she deserves to live her dream.

“I love you” I tell her a truth because I cannot lie to my wife, I am incapable of lying to my wife because I love her and so I tell her I love her because that is the truth and the truth is in fact not a lie and so I did not lie and therefore I have done nothing wrong. I am a good husband, Jackson Douglas is a good husband.  I kiss her lips and she laughs softly and so I know she is happy and then I move my hand touch her vagina, and now I am touching her vagina and slip two fingers into her vagina and inside, rubbing around her clitoris.  And we kiss and she wraps her arms around me and she pushes her body into mine and she wraps legs around me and I stand up. I place on hand on her butt and I am carrying toward the stairs to our room. I am happy, and she is happy and I am happy that she is happy, we are both happy and so I am a good husband. I am a good husband and she is a happy wife and we are going to make love in our room. I am carrying her to our room and we are kissing and I am touching my wife, I am inside my wife with my finger and we are going to our room.  And our house is large, it is a very large house and I am carrying my wife through our very large house. I am taking my wife Marissa Douglas to the stairs as I am playing inside of her vagina with my fingers, with her legs around my waist and I am taking her to the stairs across from us on the other end of our very large house. We are kissing and I am carrying my wife and I do not want to argue. We will not argue because I do not want us to argue, I do not like when Robert makes us argue and I do not like when Robert makes me make my wife cry.  But she will not cry, I do not like when my wife cries, I do not like when my wife screams and cries and questions if she is a good a wife.  I do like when she moans, I love when my wife moans, I love when we are kissing and we are making love and she moans. I like when I stick my fingers inside and I suck on her breasts and she moans. I love when I kiss my wife on her sensitive spot just below her naval and she loses her breath and she moans on a quaking exhale. I love when my wife moans and we are now going up the stairs to my room. I am carrying my wife. And Robert cannot carry my wife, he cannot because he is a dumbass and dumbasses do not know how to carry a wife, not my wife, no, no one can carry my wife, no one except me. My wife tells me she loves and she kisses my neck and we are going up the stairs. And we will make love, we will make love when we get up the stairs and my wife, my wife, I love my wife and so I want to make her moan. And we make love because husbands and wives make love, Robert cannot make love to a wife because he has no wife. He cannot make love to my wife because he does not have the love of my wife, I would kill Robert if he had the love of my wife, I would kill Robert if he loved my wife. But my wife would never love my wife and so they cannot make love, but he can fuck her, they can fuck. And so has he fucked my wife, has he fucked my Marissa. Marissa is my wife and I make love to her after she wraps her legs around my head and I am wondering has Robert fucked my wife.

I am Jackson Douglas and have made love to my wife, I have made love to my wife this morning and she has fallen asleep in my arms. It was morning but now it is evening and then sun is falling down and my wife has fallen asleep in my arms. My wife is naked in my arms, her vagina pressed against my now soft penis and her legs interlocked with my own, and my wife Marissa is asleep pressed safely within the empbrace of my body. I am Jackson Douglas and I have just made love to my wife and my wife laughed and so she was happy, but was she really happy? Was my wife Marissa really happy? If my wife was happy she would not have fucked Robert, if my wife was happy she would not have allowed Robert to shove his penis into her ass. Is Marissa happy, am i capable of making Marissa happy? My mother always told me that a smart man could make his beautiful wife happy and so is my wife Marissa actually capable of being happy. I am a smart man, I believe I am a smart man and so I should be able to make my wife happy. Maybe Marissa just cannot be made happy, maybe Robert and I cannot make her happy! Perhaps she needs more Roberts or more smart men to make her happy! Perhaps no man can make Marissa happy! Maybe she needs a woman to be happy! Is Michelle the only one that can make her happy? Marissa always smiles when she is one the phone with Michelle, Michelle comes by alot. What if Michelle is the other Robert? What if Robert does not really exist? Perhaps I am the only one that has heard Roberts name, perhaps in some way I am the only one who believes that my wife is fucking Robert. No my wife has fucked Robert, my wife has fucked Robert and has told him that I am a bad husband. But my wife has also told me that she hasnt and she has cried whenever I have blamed her, telling me that there is no man named Robert, that she is a good wife and she loves me for being a good husband. Could she have been right, could I have made all of these things up in my head? There is no way that all that I have done, all that I have seen was nothing mroe than my imagination. That would mean that I am not a smart man, smart men do not believe things that do not exist. Smart men do not create things in their heads and believe them to be true. Damn you Robert. Damn all the Roberts that do exist in this world. Damn you Jackson, damn you Jackson Douglas for not being smart. If you are not smart, you are not a smart man, and mother said if you were a smart man you could be a good husband and that you are not. Your cannot be a smart man if you make things up in your head and believe them and you cannot be a good husband if you are not a smart man.  So I am a bad husband I am a horrible husband because I make my wife cry and she cries because I am not a smart man, I am not a smart man because I make things up in my head and I make things up in my head because I am a horrible husband and I am a horrible husband because I am not a smart man. But my wife has fucked Robert, she has to have fucked Robert because I am a smart man and I know these things. But my wife she loves me, she loves me and so she would not fuck a Robert and if she has not fucked a Robert that would mean that I made it up in my head and if I made it up in my head that means that I am not a good husband because I am not a smart man. But Robert does exist I've heard Roberts name, she did say his name. She said Roberts called her in and she had a job to do with Robert and so that means Robert does exist. Does he exist, if he does then she fucked him.... Did she? Does it? Just because he exists does that mean that she fucked him, doe my wife have to fuck men just becuaes she sees them. No my wife is not like that, I know my wife is not a whore, she is not a whore. A smart woman is never a whore, she would never fuck another man after marrying me because she is my wife and she loves me. I have to ask her if she loves me and if she loves me.... if she loves me.... then I am a bad husband.... I am a very horrible husband. And so I take my hand and I shake my wifes shoulder, I shake her shoulder and whisper her name lightly in her ear. I want to wake her up, I want to wake her, but I should let ehr sleep. I need to wake her to ask her if she loves me but my wife is sleeping and I should not wake her. But I am going to wake her, I need ot wake her a apologize , I need to ask her if she in fact does love me and then ..... I have to know. My wife is awake now she is awake and kisses me on the lips and tells me that she loves me. She loves me and she smile and she laughs lightly through her smiling teeth and she kisses me. She kisses me and tells me that she loves me. My wife loves me and I am a bad husband, I love my wife and I have not loved her enough and so I am not a good husband. I am not a good husband because I am not a smart man and so I have to apologize to my wife. She told me she loved me and I didnt even ask her, she told me she loved me and I did not have to say a thing. She told me she loved me... and I tell her that "I am sorry" and I am crying. My eyes are watering and I am crying. She tightens her legs around mine and she hugs me tightly and simply tells me she loves me and that she will not go out of town tomorrow morning. She tells me this and I pull away I pull away and hurt her I know I hurt her because I was too rough, I was too rough and I fell out of bed.

"Jackson Honey" she said Jackson honey and I know I have upset her, I have upset her because I am in the way of her dream. I am in the way of her dream and so I am not only a bad husband to a wonderful wife who loves him. A wonderful wife who in fact has not slept with a Robert, who never slept with a Robert. Why the fuck have I been thinking that she slept with a Robert. Why would my wife have slept with a Robert? I am so, so wrong in thinking that my wife has slept with a Robert. Why do I always think that my wife has slept with a Robert. Perhaps Robert does in fact exist, perhaps she has slept with him once...or twice...it should not matter becuase she loves me. She loves me and I am still thinking that she has slept with a Robert. My wife has she slept with a dumbass with the name Robert who does not and cannot have his own wife. Is he real or is he only a man that I have created because I am not a smart man. I turn and behind me is the balcony, behind me is the balcony to out upstairs bedroom and I have tortured my wife. I am a bad husband because I am not smart, I am so not smart that I do not know whether my wife has fucked a Robert who may or may not actually exist. And I am walking to the balcony, closed off by a sliding glass door.

"Jackson?" my wife calls me Jackson when I allow her to call me Jack.

"Jackson?!" I am opening the door to the sliding glass door and my wife still calls me Jackson. "Jack!!!". My wife has finally called me Jack and I am not a good enough husband. I can never be a good enough husband because I will never know if Robert is real. I can ask my wife and she cry and say no and she could be lying, I could go to her office or with her on the trip but then Robert would hide. And what if I did find a Robert what if I looked him up and found a Robert? There are lots of Roberts, many, many Roberts and what if I cannot find the one who had fucked my wife. And if I did? would I really want to? What if I find the one that fucked my wife what then would I do? I would kill him or be killed and be dead or go to prison and my wife would cry, she would cry and be alone and my wife cannot be alone, without a Robert or a Jackson. But my wife cannot be with me, she cannot be with me because I hurt her, I torture her and get in the ways of her dreams, her dreams that she worked so hard to accomplish, her dream to be a lawyer. I love my wife and I cannot be her good husband. I love my wife and she can not be with me, because I cannot be good for her. I am looking over the balcony and thinking that my wife cannot have me as a husband because I am not a good husband. I am thinking that she should not be with Robert because he cannot be a good husband. My wife is a good wife, my wife is a very good wife and I love her because she is good wife. Marissa is a good wife and a smart woman, and Jackson is a dumb man and a bad husband. Marissa calls out the name of her bad husband and Jackson the dumb man calls out that he loves her and that he is sorry. She calls out that she can be a good wife, a better wife and Jackson this dumb man Jackson says that she is already the best wife and now Jackson is falling, falling from the top of his very large house. Jackson is falling from the balcony of his very large house and he sees Robert fucking his wife and sees himself making love to her. Jackson cannot hear his wife call for him, Jackson cannot hear his own thoughts. Jackson cannot see Robert anymore or know if his wife found a new husband. Jackson does not feel pain and he does not inflict it on his wife. Jackson does not tell his wife to not see Robert. He is Jackson Douglas, I am Jackson Douglas. Jackson Douglas is dead.

 


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