Deadly Addiction

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
I'm really a writer of poetry and this I guess would be more prose but it still has the poetry feel. Drugs change people they make you question your morals. I watched it happen to many I loved, this is my take on what it did to my friends, one in particular.

Submitted: October 07, 2014

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Submitted: October 07, 2014

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Deadly Addiction

Each time she wakes, she is overcome with feeling; glad to have woken and fearful to face whatever obstacles today’s journey might bring.  She covers her scars from yesterdays with long sleeve blouses and make-up. She paints on a smile to confront the world and shades the truth in her eyes with oversized, dark sunglasses. She who was once perfect, innocent and free; now damaged…addicted – it is fear that she now seeks. She covers the tracks that have now moved to her hands with gloves that were once white, now stained with self-neglect.  Off into the world she goes to try and satisfy her craving.  She will go any distance and do any favor, whatever it takes to get her fix.  Counting down the minutes to her hypothesized time: the time she will finally be high.
When it was first offered to her, she refused; it crossed all of her lines.  Instead she watched.  The experience of those around her seemed too enjoyable to be as dangerous as she had heard.  She witnessed all the fun her friends were having and the lines she had set for herself, once so clear, began to blur. Her NO’s! become I don’t knows and soon Yes please! Became her response. She tried to justify all the decisions she had made; her heart and head knew she was making the wrong choices but her body wouldn’t let her stop.
Now she is reaching the bottom, each minute of the day fitting into one of two categories: one called Up, the other Down, each a completely different place in the world of an addict. Up being the desired effect with no Up equaling the Up that came before. Down is a sort of hibernation that nothing can penetrate. This tumultuous world of Up and Down holding her on a maniacal teeter totter that refuses to quit.
Why did I start this HELL? She asks herself as she hits the bowl to stay Up.  Eight days now in Up-land makes her long to go Down. Her body no longer responding correctly, her words no longer making sense;  she knows going Down means dropping off the planet for days. Her fear of leaving Up-land is that she may be Down so long that she will miss the next delivery, the biggest fear of all to an addict.  She cannot go on without it; she won’t be able to function enough, to cover her scars again, to face the world when she wakes Up.
The choices she has made now flood her weak brain… has she fallen into a deadly pattern? How long until she goes Down for good? When will the scars be lethal? These are the questions she asks herself as she picks up her rig, her old trusty friend who will change her mood in an instant. Too afraid to go Down she searches for any tiny vein to begin the journey again. She knows she will have to go Down soon but as long as she has dope there’s no need to dream.
 


© Copyright 2020 Krash Knovel. All rights reserved.

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