Devils Eyes

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Religion and Spirituality  |  House: Booksie Classic
This short story is about a girl who is confused on her religion because she doesn't understand everything she should.

Submitted: June 02, 2010

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Submitted: June 02, 2010

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I was never one to believe in God, it was like this because I lost faith.
 Even with those around me, constantly reminding me of the fate of the future, when the world is to be no more, corrupt with evil and as the believers are craddled in Gods arms, Jesus by their side. The thought was comforting to all, all but me. Because I lost faith.

 
Throughout my life I have suffered injury after injury, and no, not phsycial injury. But I would much rather have suffered through every bone in my body breaking than seeing my mother being taken away by cancer, and my father committing suicide because of it. Yes, I'd rather have taken beatings each day than seeing my father's brains splattered against the wall, and never seeing my grandparents.
There are millions of people out there, and somehow I ended up being completely...
 
alone...
 
So if God exists, if he loves me, why would he think of putting me in this hell?
Some would say it was a test. Well, I say playing mind games isn't nice.
If He knows all and sees all, why wouldn't he save me from all the pain and suffering He purposely put me through and see if I would have passed His little mind games.
I had prayed...
and prayed...
and yet I get no response. I wonder if it is my last shred of faith still in the process of being shattered, or maybe it is the years of brainwashing from those around me...
I am afraid of the future.
There had been many times where I had picked up a gun, the cold texture... and I had put it down everytime, afraid of Hell, afraid of the future. And everytime I had done this, in the back of my mind I would hear,
"I thought you had lost faith."
I don't know. I really don't. So each day I was in the God-worshipping town, something I had never noticed before I had lost faith, I slowly began to form a selfish opinion.
 
If I said I believe.... and the world had ended... I would have the mansion Jesus would bring the beleivers up to, the one God made for us, because if God does not know the answer without His mind games, how could He possibly know what I am thinking.

And when this opinion was formed, when I felt at ease about everything around me, I stopped worrying about the future.
 
And if you have heard of the saying, "When you worry about something, it won't happen. If you stop worrying about it, it will happen." You can see why I didn't believe it was true. I didn't believe a lot of things were true.
 
Until that day.
 
It was like any other day, everything seemed just fine.
Until I walked outside the first time that day.
 
Everything was silent, so still. No breeze, no movements, no chirping from the birds... my heart stopped, my blood froze. I knew what was going to happen.
 
A scream in the distance, it was shrill, from a woman, and then another scream from a man.
The whole town.
The whole world.
Screaming.
 
Flames shot up from the ground, the heat couldn't be tolerated. I scratched at my throat, desperate to breath, for the smoke was filling my lungs. I was choking.
 
I was dying.
 
My eyes were watering from the heat and smoke, or maybe I was crying. I honestly wasn't sure.
 
All I know is, when I saw the light coming from the smoke filled sky, the blackness wasking away, the light too powerful. I had hope. It ran in my blood, my heart racing, threatening to jump out of my chest... I had one thought: the mansion.
 
I saw rays of light, like spotlights, hitting people.
 
Women, men, children... as others were left behind.
 
Including me.
 
I had closed my eyes , I felt myself falling backwards, the fall felt much longer than it should have. My body had given up, I had given up.
 
It wasn't a moment later when I had opened my eyes, and relief had literally filled every part of me. I smiled, my eyesight becoming blurry from tears of joy. There were clouds, fresh air, a beautiful mansion in the background. I was staring into the eyes of the Lord.
 
I was happy. Truly happy. I made it. The happines didn't last long though. A second later the familiar flames had appeared all around me, the heat, the smoke... all of it. my heart had sank, the Lords face had changed into the Devils. His malicious smile, his evil eyes staring into my now-dead soul.
 
I knew I was in Hell.
 
I had always been in Hell. The moment I thought I was in Heaven was a trick, a mind game. But the mind game was not set up by God, it was the Devil.
 
I realize now all the mind games were played by the Devil.
 
I'm in Hell.
 
I've always been in Hell. And Hell is where I stay.
 
Staring into the Devils eyes.


© Copyright 2020 KrazyKat. All rights reserved.

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