Jumbled Mass

Reads: 527  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 7

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Decided to try a self-challenge credited to The inspiration of Lionheart and Classy Peach. I don't write poetry or even to claim too. But I thought I would give it a try.
I don't know what type of poem you would classify it under, if you know leave me a note explaining. Thank you.

Pain on faces around me,

Eyes contemplating their existence,

Smiles expressed, but simulated,

Suspicion ruling out trust,

Inaction of responsibilities,

Mundane routines,

Insulating their children from others,

Subtle appearances,

Tangled Webs.


Submitted: June 13, 2008

© Copyright 2021 Kred35. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Azmat Shah

Hello,
I absolutely loved this, ur play on words is very refreshing gr8 job. Peachy would be proud of you, Bravo!

Fri, June 13th, 2008 5:51am

Author
Reply

What a relief.....and you commented so quickly, and I just posted it. It actually took me about an hour, and that's so sad. :) I did alot of searching in the dictionary. I was determined....

Thank you very much Azmat Shah!

Thu, June 12th, 2008 10:59pm

Classy Peach

Powerful
Emotions
Saturate
Senses
Inappropriately
Measuring
Indeciveness and
Stimulating self
Torture.

Pick
Every
Sincere
Sparkle
In
Melting
Ice
Sipping
Tastefully

Providing
Energy
She
Smiles
Inwardly
Meeting
Infinite
Subconscious
Tears.

I cannot even begin to appropriately articulate my gratitude to you to have been esteemed on YOUR path to glory.

This is a wonderful poem and will only speak to certain people. It leaves enough for the reader to embellish their own story. I've warmed my hands with it on a cool day. And thank you so much for sharing.

Your profound caring nature is embedded.
It's an absolute pleasure to meet you. Thank you so much for returning the inspiration.

Fri, June 13th, 2008 6:19pm

Author
Reply

Peachy, your expressive, gracious words flows through my veins. Heart felt warmth that surrounds me like sunshine to flowers. A tear drop falls, and a smile is seen. :)

It really means alot to me that I have met you and others from this site. It's something I've needed for myself. I've needed to gain my confidence. You have contributed a great deal, ways you don't see, or anyone else. Thank you. I look forward to writing more, and reading others stories, poems, and etc.... I am in touch with that, which is within.

Fri, June 13th, 2008 6:47pm

Michael68

WOW! I really like this poem. You do have a gift for poetry. Excellent job. :)

Sat, June 14th, 2008 12:49am

Author
Reply

I'm glad you liked it, and Thank you very much!

Fri, June 13th, 2008 6:52pm

findingmyway

I really like this poem, you definitely do have a talent for writing poetry. Please keep up the good work :)

Sat, June 14th, 2008 5:58pm

Author
Reply

Thank you Findingmyway......your comment is appreciated very much.

Sat, June 14th, 2008 11:12am

Nixie

Oh my, I absolutely love this. I've considered doing something similar with the word down the side but honestly I couldn't pull it off as you have done. You've chosen your words carefully and it works so well! I'm inspired, and just for the record, I would classify this under BRILLIANT! ~ Nixie

Mon, June 16th, 2008 7:13pm

Author
Reply

Wow! The word Brilliant! I love it, and thank you so much. Now this one took me awhile, as I had to do some reading in the dictionary...LOL!! But I was determined I was going to do it. I'm not a "big words" type of person....but I am definitely expanding my horizons. I appreciate you very much for the comment, as I was proud of this one. You should try doing this type of poem. Try it with the word....TREMENDOUS!! This is a favorite word of mine.

Thanks again Nixie.....

Mon, June 16th, 2008 8:47pm

Pratibha

This is a poem from heart ....inspired me beyond words...this word PESSIMISTIC has been my companion ever since i was born....

hee hee....
Can i share my interpretation with you ??

i have this huge 'inferiority complex' within me...Mom gets so angry sometimes...lol....

Sun, June 22nd, 2008 4:50am

Author
Reply

Thank you again for such warm beautiful words from your heart Pratibha. Thank you. Yes, and your not alone, but I'm a work in progress.

Mon, June 23rd, 2008 3:31am

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