Chuck Norris counted to infinity… twice.
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky
Chuck Norris can capture two pokemon with one pokeball
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak at a restaurant. The steak did what it was told
Chuck Norris can believe it’s not butter
Chuck Norris sleeps with a nightlight on because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris jumps into the water he doesn’t get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.
Do you know what the plastic tips of your shoelaces are called? Chuck Norris does.
Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris doesn’t t-bag the ladies, he potato sacks them.
Chuck Norris can eat a Rubik’s Cube and poop it out solved
Chuck Norris once went to the Virgin Islands. They are now called The Islands.
You only laugh at Chuck Norris once.
Chuck Norris once had an erection in the middle of the street. There were no survivors.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
Many people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin he built with his bear hands.
Chuck Norris played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun, and won.
Chuck Norris’s cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
When the boogieman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at the Home Depot.
When Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants
Why can’t Chuck Norris grow hair on his balls? Because hair doesn’t grow on steel.
Everybody likes Raymond… except for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’s fist.
Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he pisses
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
How many times can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Chuck Norris
People invented the automobile to get away from Chuck Norris. Not to be out done, Chuck Norris invented the automobile accident
Chuck Norris ordered a Whopper at McDonalds and got it.
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep… he waits.
Chuck Norris isn’t hung like a horse; horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris gives you the middle finger, he is telling you how many seconds you have to live.
Chuck Norris’s spleen is considered a lethal weapon in 32 different countries
Chuck Norris can speak brail.
Chuck Norris can whistle in 42 different languages
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