Heart Closed

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is to my first best friend who left me in the sixth grade, for 'real' friendships. Just like that she left me behind. I had to pick up my shattered heart. But hey I grew and I learned exactly what not to do to others. (:

Submitted: April 24, 2015

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Submitted: April 24, 2015

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You have come and gone,

I didn't expect it.

I know you are allowed to leave.

 

I wonder where the innocent times have gone,

Where we played and we truly valued it.

But when tides change you leave.

 

Why did I let you have that much power?

We were friends you and I.

Closer than most, yet you trampled me.

 

I let you walk all over me, I gave you power.

You became the master of I.

Did you know what took from me?

 

Laughing and doing mischievous deeds,

We bonded and told girlish secrets.

Together we swam, dove, and dripped.

 

You were given my purest deeds.

Unfortunately, you don't know my last secret.

When you pranced away, ugly seeped and dripped.

 

Perhaps this isn't fair,

I did let myself love you openly.

 I could have prevented this pain.

 

But my heart was true and fair,

Do you know the pain of living openly?

I hope you haven't, even you don't deserve this pain.

 

Working through emotions took time.

Processing and feeling slowed.

I couldn't let others in.

 

It was harder to let someone in the second time.

I kept people away, I was slowed.

Friends always at arm’s length, never let in.

 

I thought I was damaged.

I couldn't see any good.

I am scarred.

 

I kept patterns that damaged.

My worth linked to nothing good.

Can you see why I'm scarred?

 

Years after you, I found my awesome spark.

I was able to get through my trials.

Yes, I'm still hurt but I forgive your ignorance.

 

Without pain, I never would have my unique spark.

I learned how to avoid putting others in those trials.

Thanks to you I have no ignorance.

 

I am a better person now.

You can keep your mouth shut.

I don't need your sorry anymore.

 

I have learned to live a better life now.

I still struggle to keep myself open and not shut.

But fear will not define me anymore.


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