Hello How Are You?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
The short play I had to write for Creative Writing class~! I based it off of the Hatsune Miku song of the same name ^-^

Submitted: November 09, 2012

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Submitted: November 09, 2012

A A A

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Hello, How Are You?

 

CHARACTERS:

ANISE

BERNADETTE

JAKE

WREN

SCENE ONE:

(A frequented park on a crisp autumn day. Ayoung woman, ANISE, enters and walks slowly towards the one bench seen, a solemn look on her face. Others loosely walk through the park. The woman sits and opens her laptop. She wears her hair in a messy pony tail, a long gray sweater, and black sweatpants, obviously not caring what she looks like. She types a few words, then looks up at the sky and sighs deeply.)

 

 

ANISE

(To the sky)

Hello…How are you…?

 

(An old woman walking by stops and looks at ANISE. She wears a nice dress and hat, with a long fur-lined coat over top. She carries a grocery bag of clothes.)

 

BERNADETTE

(Surprised)

Young lady, were you talking to me?

 

ANISE

(Just as surprised)

Oh! Well, I, um, no. I-I mean, I-I’m sorry, I’m just-

 

BERNADETTE

(Chuckling)

Haha, it’s quite alright. I understand. Boy, young people sure do talk to themselves a lot these days, eh?

 

ANISE

(Trying to tame confusion)

Oh, I-I suppose…

(ANISE looks down at her laptop screen, still a troubled look on her face)

 

BERNADETTE

Well, either way…

(Sits down next to ANISE)

I have DEFINITLEY had days better than this one.

ANISE

(Looking at BERNADETTE from the side, head still turned towards the laptop)

Oh, i-is that so? I’m sorry…

 

BERNADETTE

Why are you sorry, dear? It’s not your fault at all.

 

ANISE

Uhh…

 

BERNADETTE

(Chipper)

Ha! You’re not a very talkative one, are you? Well, no matter, I already like you.

 

ANISE

(Turns to BERNADETTE)

…huh?

 

BERNADETTE

Well, I can tell you have a problem. However, you’re trying your hardest to be kind, aren’t you? Can’t fool me. I can always tell.

 

ANISE

(Slightly embarrassed)

You saw right through me…Does that mean you can tell what my problem is, too?

 

BERNADETTE

(Laughs)

Oh, dearie, do I look like a psychic to you? I can simply tell when someone’s put up a façade. But, if I had to take a guess…Love troubles?

 

ANISE

(Smiles and looks down again)

Kinda. Is it really that obvious?

 

BERNADETTE

Not really. That’s just the first problem that comes to mind when thinking about the troubles of a young woman.

ANISE

(Quietly)

Oh…

(An awkward silence settles over the two women for a few moments, until BERNADETTE shifts in her seat and introduces herself.)

BERNADETTE

…Anyway, what’s your name, dearie? Mine’s Bernadette. Not a very attractive name, I know.

 

ANISE

Mine’s Anise.

 

BERNADETTE

(Pleased)

What a sweet name! Absolutely adorable.

 

ANISE

(Embarrassed)

Oh, thank you…

 

BERNADETTE

Of course! Now, Miss Anise, do tell old Bernadette what troubles you.

 

ANISE

Huh?

 

BERNADETTE

Well, you obviously are stuck on something. Perhaps the wisdom of an older woman could be of some assistance?

 

ANISE

Oh, no, really, it’s no problem, I can handle it.

 

BERNADETTE

I see.

(Leans forward towards ANISE)

Then what are you going to do?

 

ANISE

(Taken Aback)

Oh, um…

(Looks back to the laptop)

I’m going to write an e-mail.

 

BERNADETTE

(Sits back again)

An e-mail.

 

 

ANISE

Yes. An e-mail.

BERNADETTE

Well! I suppose love has been altered a bit from when I was your age. Oh, when I was your age, I did everything I could to see my dear Philip every day. He lived three miles away, you know? And I wasn’t allowed to drive, so I had to walk three miles every day. And that’s a lot farther then it sounds.

 

ANISE

Oh, I see…Are you still with…Philip?

 

BERNADETTE

(Chuckles softly)

Ah, yes, I’m still with my Philip. I’m on my way to see him now.

 

ANISE

Um, don’t let me hold you back.

 

BERNADETTE

Miss Anise, you really aren’t one to talk! Now, now, it’s fine. Philip isn’t going to die just yet. A young woman with a love problem is a lot more exciting than a hospital anyway.

 

ANISE

(Very surprised)

He’s in the hospital?! How could you just stay here? Go see him!

 

BERNADETTE

(Laughs)

No, no, it’s fine. He’s had this sickness for years, dear. It’s nothing too urgent. Just stopping by and giving him clothes on my way home from church. I do this every Sunday.

 

ANISE

(Quietly)

Oh… I’m so sorry…

 

BERNADETTE

No reason for you to be sorry, Miss Anise, it’s just what the Good Lord planned, right?

 

ANISE

I suppose.

(Conversation pauses)

BERNADETTE

Why don’t you tell me about the young fellow you’ve got in your sights? What’s his name?

 

 

ANISE

His name is…Wren.
 

BERNADETTE

And what is Wren like? Is he handsome?

 

ANISE

(Laughs softly)
Yes, Wren is very handsome.

 

BERNADETTE

How so?

 

ANISE

(Takes deep breath)

Well…He’s really tall…tan…Curly brown hair like a little kid’s, and the biggest brown eyes…

 

BERNADETTE

(Chuckles)

He sounds like quite the catch. And where is Mr. Wren?

 

ANISE

(Quiet again)

I…don’t know.

 

BERNADETTE

Oh? Why not?

 

ANISE

We lost contact …

 

BERNADETTE

I see…

(Switches to a happier mood)

Well, you’re e-mailing him, right? So you still have his e-mail address?

 

ANISE

I, uh, actually ran into an old friend of his. He gave me Wren’s e-mail and told me to try to get in touch with him.

 

BERNADETTE

Not his phone number?

 

 

 

 

ANISE

No…Wren has always hated phones.

(Laughs)

He broke every one he had within a week of getting them.

 

BERNADETTE

Ah. Yes, that makes sense.

 

ANISE

Yeah…

(Awkward silence)

 

BERNADETTE

(Chipper again)

Well, my dear, it has been great chatting with you, but I feel that should go now. Don’t want to be making Philip wait too long, eh?

 

ANISE

Oh, okay…

(BERNADETTE gives ANISE’s knee a pat, then stands and clutches her grocery bag.)

 

BERNADETTE

I do hope we’ll meet again someday…

(She walks a few paces away, then turns back.)

Oh, and I hope that next time…Mr. Wren is with you.

(ANISE squirms a little on the bench. BERNADETTE laughs as she walks away off stage.)

 

(ANISE watches BERNADETTE go, then resituates herself with her laptop. Yet again, she can’t seem to type anything. She repeats the same actions as at the beginning of the play.)

 

ANISE

(To the sky)

Hello…How are you?

 

(A young and tired man walking by stops and looks at ANISE in disbelief. He’s tall and lanky with bright red hair and dressed in a suit that looks like its seen better days. He has the suit jacket in one hand, draped over his shoulder behind him, and a brief case in the other.)

 

JAKE

(Seemingly annoyed)

Miss…Are you talking to me?

(ANISE looks down in surprise and snaps her laptop shut. She scrambles to sit up straight and stutters while doing so.)

ANISE

(Embarrassed)

Oh! Uh, no, I, uh-

 

JAKE

Look, I don’t really have time for this…Plus, since when do people actually try to flirt at the park?

 

ANISE

(Even more surprised, a bit stunned)

Wait…what?

 

JAKE

Yeah, it’s, like, totally cheesy. What is this, a romantic comedy? At least don’t make me Katherine Heigl. Her cheekbones give me cold sweats.

 

ANISE

Don’t…don’t make you who?

 

(JAKE’s jaw drops in mock terror)

 

JAKE

That’s really upsetting. You’re what, 24? Haven’t you ever seen Grey’s Anatomy?

(ANISE shakes her head, mouth open, unblinking)

Oh my god, really girl? Are you stupid?

 

ANISE

(Looks down at her closed laptop)

…I’m sorry…

 

JAKE

(Surprised)

Oh, Jesus, are you gonna cry? Please don’t cry…I can’t deal with girls when they cry!

(JAKE hurries closer to the bench and places a hand on ANISE’s head, looking around to make sure no one is watching.)

Look, I’m sorry, I was out of line. Don’t cry okay?

(ANISE looks up, perfectly fine, but embarrassed again.)

 

ANISE

I…wasn’t crying.

 

JAKE

I can see that. But seriously, you scared me to death.

(JAKE removes his hand and looks around awkwardly. ANISE looks down again.)

So…who were you talking to?

 

ANISE

(Without looking up)

Nobody.

 

JAKE

(Quietly)

Oh…

(Awkward silence, until a cell phone rings. Jake looks at his phone, growing angry as he sees the screen. He drops the suitcase and jacket, then answers in fury.)

 

What?!

 

(ANISE watches JAKE as he listens to the phone. JAKE paces and waves his arms around furiously as he talks to the person on the other side of the conversation.)

 

JAKE

(Loudly)

I don’t care what you have to say! You already dumped me and fired me, what else is there to say?!

(ANISE looks around and back down at her laptop again. She goes to open it, then JAKE ends his phone conversation.)

 

JAKE

Yeah?! Well screw you, too!

(JAKE shoves the cell phone in his pocket.)

Jerk…

(ANISE slowly looks up at JAKE)

ANISE

Who…was that?

 

JAKE

(Upset)

My boyfriend-Er, my boss-My boyfriend/boss? Well…

(JAKE’s voice cracks)

My ex-boyfriend/boss.

 

ANISE

Oh…

 

JAKE

(Wiping at his eyes)

Dammit…I’m such a mess!

(JAKE cries and picks up the suit case and jacket, then sits on the bench next to ANISE. He gets a hold of himself and sighs at the sky. ANISE pulls a tissue out of her sweater pocket and hands it to him.)

ANISE

(Timidly)

H-here…wipe your nose.

(JAKE hesitates a bit before taking the tissue and blowing his nose.)

 

JAKE

Thanks…and sorry that you had to listen to that. It’s weird isn’t it? I’m weird?

(ANISE throws up her hand and waves them in front of her face.

 

ANISE

N-no! It’s fine! You’re fine! Really!

(JAKE chuckles softly)

JAKE

Yeah…I wish his wife had said the same.

 

ANISE

(Freezes and makes a strange “Ah” sound.)

 

JAKE

Wow, she actually reacted the same way when she caught us.

 

ANISE

I…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-

(JAKE waves his hand)

 

JAKE

I know, I know, it’s alright; I’m just in a crummy mood. I can’t help being a little snobby.

 

ANISE

I understand…

(JAKE crumples up the used tissue and stuffs it in his pocket. He looks back at ANISE.)

So, what’s your name?

 

ANISE

(Shy)

…It’s Anise.

 

JAKE

Figures.

 

ANISE

(Confused again)

Wha-what?

(JAKE laughs)

 

JAKE

Anise is a totally adorable name. And you’re all shy and stuff. Like a small furry animal. A squirrel or something.

 

ANISE

A small animal?

 

JAKE

Anyway, I’m Jake. Nice to meet you. And I’d shake your hand right now, if mine weren’t totally gross and covered in snot.

 

ANISE

…Nice to meet you, too.

JAKE

So…What are you working on? College stuff?

(JAKE points at the laptop.)

 

ANISE

(Looks down at the laptop)

Oh, no…just... an e-mail.

 

JAKE

Oh? But you seem like you’re having a hard time.

 

ANISE

(Sighs)

…I just don’t know what to type.

 

JAKE

Who’s it to? Maybe I could help?

 

ANISE

(Hesitates)

My ex.

(JAKE leans back and breathes in deep.)

 

JAKE

Well, I don’t think I’ll be much help there. I’m way too much of a grudge holder to ever talk to an ex again. Sorry.

 

ANISE

No, it’s alright…You don’t have to help me. I bet it’s useless anyway.

 

 

 

JAKE

(Tenderly)

Hey, don’t beat yourself up. Just because I’m useless doesn’t mean you have to be.

(ANISE looks at the laptop in silence.)

Look, I know this may sound tacky, and trust me, I try not to be tacky, but I think you should just write all of your feelings in that e-mail. That’s gotta do something good, yeah?

(ANISE looks up at JAKE and nods.)

 

ANISE

Alright…I-I’ll try it. Thank you.

(JAKE nods back and stands.)

 

JAKE

I’m glad I could help. But I should get going.

(JAKE gathers his jacket and suitcase and tips his imaginary hat.)

It was nice meeting you, Anise. Oh, and make sure you look up some Katherine Heigl stuff, okay?

(ANISE nods and waves as JAKE walks away.)

 

(After JAKE is completely off stage, ANISE sighs and looks up again, but this time, not saying anything. A man that fits the complete description of WREN walks onto stage along with other passers-by, however, he stops walking as soon as he sees ANISE. After watching her for a few moments, the man walks up to ANISE and puts a hand on her shoulder. ANISE jumps and looks down at him, unable to talk.)

 

WREN

(Happy and relieved)

Hello…How are you?

(The curtains close)

 

 


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