Poem by: L A Fernandez Jr
poetry, rain, green, haiku, lorenzo
Submitted: July 30, 2011
Soaking the dry cracked land,
Soon you’ll see hope: green.
--Lorenzo A. Fernandez Jr.
© Copyright 2016 L A Fernandez Jr. All rights reserved.
Nice portrait, good work.
Just one thing...
Rain falling, (3 syllables)
Soaking the dry cracked land, (6 syllables)
Soon you’ll see hope: green. (6 syllables)
This becomes 15 syllables in total, not 17 which it should be...?
The 5-7-5 rule is not very strict, Zin. Even the most famous haiku poet, Basho, doesn't rigidly follow the rule. Nor does it have to be three lines, it could be less... again, thanks for appreciating my work. Just take a look at my profile every now and then to find something new.:)
Yea yea, I'm not very strict about the 5-7-5 rule myself, I know, but you should have at least 17 syllables. Your Haiku has 15... :-/ ?
Well, read some haiku of Basho or Jack Kerouac, at least 10 for each poet. I bet some are less than or more than 17 syllables. Know the rules first, then break them, to paraphrase Basho.
I love the last line :D Great piece, although I admit to knowing nothing about haiku.
thank you, your pieces are great too.:)
falling in love with haiku,
quietly but passionately I slip through naive-ness,
realize, can't write like you.
thank you, i'm flattered.
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