“I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me”. I understand that this is a sarcastic comment to be taken lightly, but for the purpose of discussion I’m going to take it seriously. I like to read about sociologic studies, and this seem like an interesting topic to me. What if we could belong to a club that only accepted people exactly like ourselves?I believe that it would be very boring. Every one would have the same opinions and would always be in agreement. Conversations would be dry and uninteresting. Everyone would wear the same style clothing, have similar occupations and hobbies, enjoy the same food and drink, listen to the same music, and so on. There would be no conversation starters and, eventually, people would run out of things to talk about.
Groups of friends have basic similarities, but also obvious differences. These differences are essential to a relationship. Variation sparks interest, which initiates conversations, and conversations keep us entertained. When we find a person entertaining, we want to be around them more, thus a friendship is formed. When we see that a person agrees with us, but also has their own interest, we want to be around that person. We want to feed off of the excitement of variation. However exact opposites can lead to too much tension. If people disagree on everything they tend to fight and not enjoy each others company. We need to be able to agree with our friends as much as we disagree with them.
On the other hand, exact duplicates can cause too much tension as well. For one thing we find it easier to see bad traits in others than in ourselves. But if two people are exactly the same ones flaws are also the others, and people don’t generally like realizing their own short comings. We may also experience a sense of loss of individuality. We are no longer unique in a club of ourselves. Some may find it overwhelming when another person shares thoughts and opinions they thought were unique to them. People sometimes feel the need to rebel and be non-conformist. When you think that you’re a black sheep and then you find out that the whole flock is black you might feel slightly belittled as if you’ve just gone against your principles. A non-conformist doesn’t want to realize that their conformed.
Personally, I frighten myself. I’m a neurotic person who is also insecure. I have a short-temper and I’m very stubborn, too. Why would I want to be in a room surrounded by neurotic, insecure, stubborn, short-tempered people? It doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. I have friends to help me get away from myself. I don’t think that even a complete narcissist would enjoy belonging to a club that only accepted people like themselves. They would probably find that everyone was too self-centered and didn’t pay enough attention to them.
Being in a club full of people exactly like yourself would defeat the point of being different. People are all different, obviously, and we should accept these differences. It’s cliché, yes, but what’s the other option? People are always going to be different, and we should learn to respect that if not like it. You can’t fear differences. If you don’t do something different because you’re afraid you might as well be in a club of yourself. If you really want a bland, pale existence that’s more than strange then join a club of people exactly like you. But if you want to live your life surrounded by fun and interesting people, who do fun and interesting things then do it! Why just sit in that awkward corner, doing nothing new or exciting? Nobody likes getting stuck in a rut, so step out before it gets too deep.
I know that if people like me ever formed a club I wouldn’t join. Maybe I’d pop in on the first meeting for a minute or two just to say ‘hi’ and grab something to eat, but then I’d leave. To pretty much sum up my big, long rant: it would be too annoying, too boring, and just all around too weird. “I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me”.
© Copyright 2016 L A Gardner. All rights reserved.