Thoughts on Mourning.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic
Stream of consciousness.

Submitted: December 29, 2012

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Submitted: December 29, 2012




Emotional death is real. Trust dies. Friendships die. Being betrayed, well it breaks your heart. I mean that literally. If you have ever been brave enough to trust anyone with yourself, your secrets, your dreams, your jokes, your humor, your insecurities, your money, your time, your worth: you have given away a piece of your soul that can never be returned. It can only be protected or destroyed. Once your soul has been destroyed, that piece of you is dead. It is gone, you cannot get it back. You are forever changed if your soul is protected as well. There is no safety in this world if you participate well. And that is our greatest challenge. Do we accept this evil, of loving and trusting at the expense of our self? Or do we guard our hearts, and stay whole through our lives?

I’m not sure this works. We cannot grow into ourselves and learn about ourselves without giving something away.

You must always lose first before you gain, and that’s why they say that beauty is pain. 

Death of another soul is harder to bear than of the body. How do you teach yourself to remember someone as they used to be while they still continue to exist right near you? Physiological death is easy. What can you do? What questions do you have to ask? One day he’s there, the next he’s not. Life with, life without. But the middleground is tricky. Love has to change. Progression is easy, change is not. We know how to handle escalating love because that is truly all anyone could hope for. You know how to handle it because you have prepared for it, in visions of what a better day may be. But are those better days ever born?

Why don’t we spend more time preparing for change, for what we don’t want, “Expecting the unexpected”? Because it seems too easy, much too simple. All we can do in preparation is appreciate what we have. Seems happy doesn’t it? Appreciation is hard. It is so very hard to love what we have and be grateful because it is here that we are forced to recognize that one day it will be gone. Instead, we shove acceptance aside. We live taking the beauty in life for granted, until we can be bitter about it, accusing life of changing without our permission! “This wasn’t supposed to happen! This isn’t how it’s always been!” How absurd! Life is a change. We are born and we grow and we die, and this necessitates our change always changing always moving always evolving. 

We give false connotation to “progression”. Everything different is positive, change is never bad. We must always be learning if our lives are always changing, and this will always be the real good in the world. Our constant evolution from the constant evolution of the world. This planet is one really. We are all affected by each small change that builds up to the next. This is beautiful. 

Beauty is hard, death isn’t.  

© Copyright 2017 L S Mann. All rights reserved.

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